Why is it easy for me to flirt with guys I DON'T like, and harder with guys I do like?

Question

It seems like a simple, basic question but it's not.
I'm afraid to flirt with any guy whom I think is cute....whether he knows me or not. But any guy I don't like, or even my guy friends, I sometimes flirt with sub-consciously, when I don't even feel that way for them. I know this sounds crazy...but is it normal? I also find as a result of this is that I am drawn to guys who do not like me, whom I do not flirt with. I tell myself that if I flirt and talk to the guys I like, they will like me the same way as other guys do, but part of me says not to follow that. So why do I only flirt with guys who don't like me? Why can't I flirt with guys I like? Is this normal?

Answer 1

its easier to flirst with yguys you dont like because your not trying to attract them
you can be yourself

i have the same problem
its completely normal
you get nervous around the guy you like so its harder to focus haha

Answer 2

It's a little like the "fear of success" syndrome. It's because if you flirt with someone you DO like, then a really serious relationship could result. Yes, this is the way to real happiness and your heart's desire, but it's WAY harder than keeping it superficial. It's REAL, it's not play. A real relationship takes work. You have to share yourself with another person, risk that kind of vulnerability in order to be close to someone...with no absolute guarantee that it will work out in the long run. In short, your may be afraid of the "real thing," so you avoid all that by flirting only with guys you don't like.

Think about this. And someday, when you're ready to take the risks involved in a real love relationship, get ready to be courageous.

Answer 3

Of course this is normal!! I do the same exact thing! Personally I think it is because I am afraid of getting into a realtionship with the cute boy. Also for me, if I am not interested in a boy but still flirting, it doesn't make me worry later about it because I know that even if I say something stupid... it doesn't matter because I have no reason to be impressing him. I don't really know if this is your problem but in my own experience I have seen that the cutest boys out there always make me nervous and that is why I have such a difficult time.

Answer 4

Come on, Dare! You already know why, don't you? Guys who you don't like are of no threat or consequence to you. You don't really care what they think or feel. Guys that you DO like have the power to reject and challenge you, because you DO want their approval. It's quite simple, also quite unfair. You shouldn't really play around with the emotions of the guys you don't like. They may be receiving the wrong signal, try to act on it, and then the situation could get ugly or hurtful. So do yourself a favor, muster up the courage to go for what you really want. Best wishes to you, Dare.

Answer 5

It's simple...because of the fear of being "turned down".
Rejection is scary, but next time you cross that hott guy you haven't spoken to, get over the fear and approach him... even if the results aren't the best, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you approached him... it's a good way to get your flirt down too!

Good luck!

Answer 6

Dear Friend,

Yes, it is very easy. It is due to your inside. Not due to the GUY.
The GUY, you don't like, so you don't care. You don't become conscious about yourself.

The GUY you like, you become conscious. You care about yourself. Example, how will he feels if you will do this or that? etc. In front of the GUY, you like, sub-consciously you are trying to look better in front of yourself, you are becoming very polite etc.

SO, it is you and not those guys.

Now, just be with yourself and you won't feel that way.

Answer 7

If you like a guy, you get nervous. You worry about whether or not he'll like you and how he'll respond. If you don't like a guy you don't care what he thinks of you, so you aren't scared of flirting with him.