Im not super shy, well yeah I kinda am at first when I don't know people or I just meet them. Only my really close friends and family know the loud outgoing me. Its kinda wierd to explain, its like I never know what to say or how to start a conversation and actually keep it going. I try to think to hard about what I can say and I have even tried going over conversations in my head, but it never works! I just don't know what to say!
Anywho I really wish I could be more outgoing around strangers. Being shy holds me back from so many things, I just want to get out there and enjoy life, I just don't know how. A lot of people just tell me to be myself and I try, I really do, its just not that simple.
Does anyone know how I can stop being shy and start being myself, fun and outgoing? Are there any exercises I can do to help? I just don't know what to do!
No half crack answers please. Im really serious about this!
2007-01-21 09:36:01 · 9 answers · asked by Ash 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Ash, first accept that you are an introvert but it doesn't have to mean being socially isolated. Start small, and think of one thing you have in common with a person outside your comfort group. Ask them about that thing. This way you'll learn more about that person. Next time ask them about the new thing you learned. It's not being nosy (as some shy people think they're being), but rather in the game!!!
When people ask about you, open up a BIT more than you normally would. Don't tell your life story, but just open the door a crack wider than you would, so to speak.
These types of small changes will reap big results. In the end, you are still you but with more of a social network, which IS important.
Good luck!!!
2007-01-21 09:47:52 · answer #1 · answered by Wondering 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was/am like that - Once I get to know you, all bets are off but if I don't, I'll keep quiet, respectful and to myself. One thing I've learned over the years about myself is that, when I meet people I suss them out. I watch how they talk, move, act and joke. If I start feeling comfortable, then I'll relax a little. Sometimes it's just the way people are - some don't need an excuse to be right out there, others don't ever come out of their shell and other suss out the group/individual they're with. Just learn to enjoy being who you are - that's what makes you you.
2016-03-29 08:00:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion I think you're really a person who likes to have fun, but you make starting a conversation too serious. Lighten up! If you're afraid of saying something totally stupid while talking to someone....say it anyways, and then you won't have anything to be afraid of! You just need to break the ice and try to get to know more people. Don't be afraid to jump right into a group and start talking. Tell yourself you want to be known as the girl who is wild and fun, not shy and withdrawn!
You could also practice talking in a big mirror, if it makes you feel better. That way you can know what you look like while you're talking, because part of your shyness is self-consciousness.
Trust me, I know exactly what you're going through and these are what helped me.
xoxo Dare♥
2007-01-21 09:45:58 · answer #3 · answered by Darian!♥ 2 · 15⤊ 0⤋
I am Ashley and I am going to try to tell you some exercises that may work. But before that I am going to tell you something. I am nine. I know you think that I am just a kid, but I may change your whole life! When I was younger, I used to feel the same way, but then I got some well thought advice from my mom. She said to me that one time her teacher asked a question and she was too shy to even put up her hand. She told me that that was a mistake that she had made and she wanted to change the fact that she was shy. So she kept on saying to herself "I am not shy, Iam not shy, Iam not shy.I can do this!" and she aked her boss that she have now all kind of questions about her job, got an interview, and got a job! She said that " that was one of the most important choices that I ever made in my life,"
So you can try to get a doll, practice how you are going to talk to strangers. Or if you don't like dolls, you could draw a person, cut it out, and talk to it if it is a stranger. And you could always breathe in and out ten times and in the ten timesthat you breathe in and out you could think about what you are going to say. I hope this helps you alot and make you be brave.
2007-01-21 10:47:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 24⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend,
Very simple. Just few things and start it from this moment.
Believe yourself
Positive self suggestions
Meditation
Sit down, close your eyes and do self suggestions that you are power, you are strong, you are everything you want to be. In self suggestions, do not use any negative words or any word you want to get rid from it. like Shy.
Don't say that "I am no more Shy person"
Say that you are strong and outgoing person, Say that you are full of confident.
Do very regular meditation. It will help you to be real human being.
Good Luck!
2007-01-21 09:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 13⤊ 0⤋
You sound just like me. I feel the exact same way, only, I've gotten to the point where I accept that this is who I am. I will never be the loud outgoing, girl who yells the loudest - and that's OK. If everyone is yelling, then who will listen?
You probably will naturally become a bit more outgoing as you grow older and mature, but in the meantime - set goals for yourself. If you're like me and don't like to speak up in class (if you're still in school, that is) set a goal that says that you have to speak up at least once a day, everyday day, this week. Then next week, say that you have to speak up twice a day, for the entire week, and so on.
Also, ask your friends for help, and tell them about your goals. If they know about it, and you know they're gonna ask about it later, you're more likely to stick to it. And probably, they will encourage you, and give you a pat on the back every time you've done it.
Don't compare yourself to everyone else - so what if the person sitting next to you keeps speaking up? You are not him, you are different, you are you!! And you shouldn't want to be anyone else.
2007-01-21 09:48:02 · answer #6 · answered by c_lotty2001 2 · 13⤊ 2⤋
I was just like you, but i ask my friend to go out , and find me gf. Then after i meet the girl i couldn't speak. i was shocked. but when i think about that i told my friend : IT IS NOT THE GIRLS WHO I AFRAID OF IT IS ME THAT MAKE PROBLEM FOR ME.
If you want to know how approach a girl, i will tell you.
2007-01-21 09:47:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 8⤋
immagine everyone around you naked or taking a poop like any other human being,it's silly but it helps,and when you talk imagine you're talking to your mom or a good friend.
2007-01-21 09:44:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 6⤋
start joining groups. it worked for me!
2007-01-21 09:43:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 6⤋