Was it abuse?!?!?

Question

well I've been put in a very odd position here so I'm trusting you guys for some help seriously ... My friend told me that 2 years ago when her mom had a really high stress job her family life wasnt so good, and truthfully she did not love her mother, and he mom didnt now how to deal with her anger and she would always be negative and be screaming at them, then one night she and her mom got in a fight and she just went upstairs and went to bed but her mom burst into the room and kept poking her and kept saying "SAY IT SAY IT" (the fight was bout my freind not saying i love you when she went to bed) then her mom went and sat on top of her chest and my friend was crying for her sister to help her but her mom told her sister not to then she persisted to choke my friend until my friend said she thought she started to see black spots but then her mom noticed what she was doin and stopped then my friend gave in and said she loved her and her mom left just out of da blue my freind told me

and said she wanted to tell one of her teachers but was afraid that they would want her to talk to guidance or call child services and she doesnt want that because her mom never did anything like that again, it was just that once, and she just wants to tell an adult what happend, and just someone to listen but not make any actions. I'm not quite sur what to tell her tho shud i tell her to talk to h teacher or do you think the teacher will over react and not follow her wishes of just listening... or am I just over dramatizing it all and shud just talk to my friend bout it, thanx

ya thats why she told me... she was confused cause this never happend b4 that night and nothing like it has happend after so it was like a long time ago and she asked if she should just forget about it, but she says she wants to tell one of her teachers but doesnt want to at the same time cause since it was so long ago she thinks theirs no point in reporting it especially since it only happend once... oh and good point i dont know if she was making in up I just assuming shes telling the truth i dont think she would lie bout that she could get in serious trouble right ?

she told me because we were talking to her teacher after class, and the teacher told us bout how she had taught this girl who had been abused and she knew right away and the girl ended up telling the teacher bout it in a book of poetry even though at the time she was the girls geo teacher, (she also taught english at the same time) and when we left the classroom my friend waas all quiet then after class the next day she told me bout what happend and how she had been thinkin bout telling the teacher but stayed silent and the teacher sensed somthin was wrong and sat down beside her and was like "is everything alright?" like three times, then she asked me if she should tell the teacher bout it

do u think she shud tell the teacher? the only problem is she said she only wants the teacher to listen, she doesnt want her to freak out and overreact,

Answer 1

This is definitely abuse. Love is earned. It is not a right bestowed on anyone.

Answer 2

I would very much have to say that if not stopped, this can go on to be a form of abuse that may cause your friend to either get seriously hurt or die. She needs to talk to someone.

But if this was 2 years ago, why is she telling you now and is this still going on?

Her mother can't blame that on stress. No amount of stress can lead you to sit on your child's chest and strangle her.

Don't take this the wrong way, but is there a chance that your friend may have made this up? As a cry for attention perhaps? I'm not saying she's a liar or pointing any fingers, but there's been a lot of cases where people have screamed rape and abuse in situations only to have been lying and making it up.

But I recommend she talk to someone if this is still going on.

Answer 3

Yes, it was and is abuse. We all get stressed at times, we all get angry. Parents, especially parents, need to walk away when they get to the point when they feel like they are going to hurt their children. It sounds like maybe her mom needs some help with dealing stress in an ok way. So, if your friend tells, she is going to help her mom.
She may be reaching out to you for help. There may really be more going on and she may be scared to really tell you the truth for multiple reasons. When people are abused physically there is emotional abouse that usually goes along with it.
Please encourage your friend to talk to a school counselor or a teacher that she trusts. It is obviously bothering her and I think that she needs some help from an adult in dealing with this horrible experience. You are a good friend to be concerned! She is lucky to have you!

Answer 4

I don't know how her teacher would react,but she does need someone to talk with.If she tells her teacher,she might be taken away from her mother.the scary thing is,that her mother must need some kind of help.You never know if she can't control her self again,and something could happen.Does your friend have a grand mother to stay with if the state ever found out.If her mother had some counseling,it would help her control her self better.If your friend needs a grown up to talk with,I'm always here.I hope this never happens again..

Answer 5

if this happened it is abuse, but abuse is not a one time thing so I do have to wonder if perhaps she isn't making up a story and telling you it is a secret to see if you tell any one, is she the type that might try that sort of thing. people test us in the oddest ways and if this was a test she should be told in no uncertain terms that you do not appreciate having your hands tied and then given an experience that would be reported to all sorts of authorities, and the next time she pulls this sort of BS you will report her as friends do not do that to each other

Answer 6

This was 2 years ago, and her mom hasn't done it again. Yes, it is abuse, but she has waited too long. Why would anyone wait 2 whole years before telling someone about this? Tell her to tell her teacher but to aslo tell her teacher this happened 2 years ago, and it hasn't happened since.

Answer 7

that is so like child abuse and oyu need to report it immediatly. her mom and her either need to go to a counsalor or just her mom. this is a big matter and encourage her to talk to a school guidence counsalor or a trusted teacher.

Answer 8

you need to tell your friend to talk to a guidance counciler(sp?).tell her to tell the whole story and that it never happened again. also she should tell that she just wants him/her to listen and not say anything before she starts talking.

Answer 9

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abuse