give. He's very sensible an often clumsy though successful in his career .Since childbirth (now 5 an 9)i grew too much critical with his clumsiness which I really regret. now he has found someone per internet and slept with her too He's honest whenever i ask him whats going on. He says he's unsure what he wants. he loves kids an even still attached to me too. He wants to know her better to decide if she's right for him so I have to give him freedom to see and sleep at her place. he says she's alone, having psychological problems, she needs help and she admires him. He needs this admiration an devotion. Family is important for him but he needs to go through this infatuation till whatever the end might look.We can still have fun when we are together and very nice to me and i dont want to lose him.
What do i have to do, let him all the freedom without criticism?
He has no will to steer his emotion, just letting it happen. He's an european and i'm from another culture.
2007-01-21 08:36:21 · 26 answers · asked by mary b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes, he wants marriage counselling. He's currently getting advices from all members of his family.
2007-01-21 09:38:03 · update #1
I cannot believe your question. You and your husband should be working out your problems and issues with your marriage. After exhausting every possibility including marriage counselling and your marriage is still in turmoil at this point, you need to separate and THEN and only THEN should he be allowed to go with this online girl. I don't know what culture your from but this is totally unacceptable to any woman.
Good luck.
2007-01-21 08:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! You need more help than a few opinions in this kind of forum (sorry Yahoo). You need to decide what you really and truly want: - Have you done everything in your power to salvage your marriage? Do you have any interest, even the tiniest bit, in saving it? - What do you REALLY want? - You say you don't see your relationship with Judy being successful. If this is true, why would you even consider moving in with her and setting yourself for a new relationship that you believed to be doomed from the beginning? Are you a glutton for pain and grief? It sounds like you need a break from Judy for awhile. You need time to have some serious counseling and work out what's happened, what you want and where you want to go from here. Jumping into another relationship isn't the answer.
2016-05-24 07:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by Elena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you hearing yourself? Your basically saying to your husband that it is OK for him to have an affair. The fact that he is having one anyway should tell you that he doesn't want to be there any more. How do you feel knowing that he is screwing another woman? I would beat the **** out of her then throw his **** out the door. He can still have a relationship with his kids of course but from what you are saying, it's over. He shouldn't need to think about whether or not he wants to be with you. You shouldn't have regrets either. Just experiences you learn valuable life lessons from.
2007-01-21 08:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by biancajh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know who to feel sorry for - you or him. You've said one nice thing about him, but also managed to say that he's clumsy at that. Why are you married to this guy? It's obvious you don't respect him. And you don't love him enough to admire him and devote your time to him.
This guy is telling you EXACTLY what he needs. Do you have any idea how many women out there would KILL for that? If you cannot, or will not, give him that little bit, then you both need to move one.
I know people will say I'm harsh. But I'm not the one insulting my husband and wondering why he's going elsewhere for emotional support.
Either you CAN be that person for him or you can't. There's no middle.
2007-01-21 08:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by jacq 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your husband sounds immature and selfish. Why are you even entertaining the idea of "letting" him get to know someone else?..Your children deserve better from both their parents. You 2 need to go get some counseling and get your crap together if you want to continue your marraige. Sounds like you have been in a role of mothering him and he wants your permission to be with someone who "needs" him and makes him feel like a man and not a child. Get some counseling and give your children what they need...2 parents who love and care for one another and your family. With some steering in the right direction I know you could meet the needs for one another and find what is needed in your marraige...not outside...Save yourselves and your family. Remember children learn what they live....what are you 2 teaching them by your actions?
2007-01-21 09:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it has been my personal experience not to go out with someone who has psychiatric troubles. they will drive you crazy ( no pun intended). ask him if he wants a divorce if does not then ask him to end this affair right away, if does then give it to him and move on. yes you do some times have to forgive and forget but there is a limit to how much and how many times you have to. if she does have psychiatric problems then he could get into the fatal attraction relationship. she needs a shrink not another woman's husband. if you want to help your relationship then tell him how you feel about the whole thing. otherwise find a lawyer.
2007-01-21 08:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by michaelv37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what about your emotional needs? to put it plain and simple he is cheating on you.
he is playing you. if this other woman works out for him he will go with her and if it doesn't it seems like he has you to fall back on.
you do not need this type of man in your life. he not only is using you but he is also setting a very bad example for the children.
do you really want them to grow up thinking that this kind of behavior is the accepted practice?
You are fooling yourself if you think what he is doing is only infatuation. Have more respect for yourself and divorce him.
you may or may not remain friends but it will enable you to eventually find someone who will love you and be faithful to you.
good luck.
2007-01-21 08:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does not sound good at all, and you are a very open minded person to be so calm and forgiving about this. I don't think it would ever work for me and it's not good for the kids. He has to make a decision one way or another. He can't date this person and be your husband at the same time. Either he comes back to you and you both work on your marriage or get a divorce.
2007-01-21 08:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. For your own self respect. For your children. And because that is the only way you can come to terms with what he has done. When this woman's psych problems become overwhelming and unattractive to him, he will be back.
I have older friends who divorced and came back together because they loved eachother.
You cannot just sit around and wait....it'll make you bitter, desparate, and you'll lose yourself. Let him go, get your own life and things will fall into place much better.
2007-01-21 08:50:16 · answer #9 · answered by Lalalalalala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are currently doing is both demeaning to yourself and counterproductive to a situation where resolution would be desirable. He should not be allowed to have a girlfriend and the advantages of a secure home. I would tell him that it is fine with you if he wishes to be with her but then he is no longer with you. You would then have the freedom to pursue other relationships as well while he takes care of the children and home for the evening.
2007-01-21 08:45:59 · answer #10 · answered by emilynackenson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋