To put it lightly, we just don't get along. It's not for lack of trying, but because they don't like me being in his life. They've asked him to leave me and have demanded a DNA test on our daughter. All of this over flows into the marriage and unfortunately, it's harder to trust and love. When he told the older girls that he will get a DNA test on our daughter I felt it was a betrayal of trust. We can get the test, that's not an issue, but the way I feel about him agreeing to the test at their urging is a problem.
I went to dinner last night with a few friends. As we waited outside under these huge heaters I struck up a conversation with a gentleman who turned out to be from the same area I'm from, hung out in the same places I did as a teenager, we've both had the same job and more... He asked me for my number. I was tempted to give it to him. I see myself starting to stray. I know it's wrong, but I don't trust my husband anymore. What now?
2007-01-21 07:51:47 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am no expert in this area, but the best advice I have is not to start something new until the something old is dead. Make sure that you do everything possible to save your marriage. I know what it's like to have family interfere in your love life, but it must be hard for you since these aren't your kids that are doing the interfering. I wouldn't be too mad at your husband for agreeing to the DNA test, maybe he just wants to prove the older kids wrong. Maybe he is sure and wants to prove it to them. Then again, they probably don't deserve to have anything proven to them.
Nothing new until the old is dead---my best advice.
2007-01-21 07:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by Dillon J 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I also got pregnant by someone while me and my first husband were separated, we had been separated for 3 years, but we also still loved each other and were best friends and lived in the same house because we had 2 kids of our own. Very long story. My first husband also never wanted a divorce so he didn't want me to move out. So when i got pregnant by the man i had been seeing for the last 2 years, which we had stop seeing each other a few weeks before and my husband and i were try to get our marriage together again, i didn't know what to do. The first person i told was my husband, because he had always been there for me, he really was a good person and my best friend. It was difficult for him and so he decided that we would stay together and try to be a family. I did tell the father of the baby i was pregnant and he going to be in the baby's life. By the end of the pregnancy it got very hard for my husband to deal with and we did end up divorcing and i am now married to the baby's father for 12 years, but it was a very hard time for everyone involved. But I do think if the baby's father had not been involved and my husband did not have to deal with him in our life from then on we would have been able to get our marriage together. If your husband is willing to forgive you and include this child as his, then put your mind and heart into making things work. There is no reason for you or him to have to tell anyone the situation and when the baby gets older and you have time to think about how and when to let the child know, you will handle that when it comes. Trust your husband if he beleives he can put this behind him, then thats what matters.
2016-05-24 07:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you really need to sit down with your husband and set up some ground rules about those daughters of his. I do understand why he MIGHT have given in to the DNA test. They've probably been hounding him alot. He probably said yes to shut them up. What you've heard his daughters say and what he's told you they've said is probably a fraction of how much they've been on him about it.
I don't think straying is a good idea. It is wrong (you already know that), but, most of all because his daughters will say they were right about you all along!!! If you and your husband can't come to some sort of compromise in regards to his daughters, leave him before you start seeing anyone else. The tone of your question led me to the feeling you're not the cheating type and right now you just feel desperate and terribly unhappy. Could you live with yourself if you did cheat? I get the feeling the answer is no. You're unhappy enough don't add to it by doing something you won't like yourself for. Good luck sweetie.
2007-01-21 08:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by mjm52 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even I think the post by Colleen is mean and I don't like you at all. I don't like the answers you've given on any of my questions, but I have taken into consideration some of what you've written. Did you read the post where I did try to talk to my stepmom?
I think you should hang in there with this guy. I wish I could talk to his kids and tell them how much of a mistake they're making.
2007-01-21 13:47:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore the post by Colleen. She's just mean. You don't deserve her meaness. You've proven yourself over and over again. These kids of his are truly an issue that needs to be dealt with. MAYBE COLLEEN NEEDS TO READ YOUR OTHER POSTS! You hang in there girl and no, don't stray. I understand the issue you have in not trusting your husband. He hasn't done right by you-- at all. You've been patient, kind and giving. If COLLEEN READ YOUR OTHER POSTS SHE WOULD KNOW how patient you've been. I think she's the only one who believes that you deserve what you're getting. The rest of us are behind you.
2007-01-21 13:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His kids sound like pains. He shouldn't have agreed to anything without talking to you first. Don't you have to be there for the DNA test? Get the DNA while he's offering then divorce him, get alimony and child support. He's an as* and his kids are stupid. No one needs that in their lives.
2007-01-21 07:59:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made the CHOICE to marry a man who had a family before you came along. That family will ALWAYS be in the picture whether you want them to be or not. They will ALWAYS come first whether you want them to or not and if you couldn't tolerate that fact BEFORE you got married then you should never have gotten married in the first place. You don't have the right to not trust your husband, he has done NOTHING to you...YOU made your own choices, the person you have to blame is yourself, not him and not his older children.
2007-01-21 10:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
How old are these kids? He needs to let his kids know that you are his wife and if they don't like it then tough. I understand that they are his kids, but he is allowing them to over step their grounds. His marriage with you has nothing to do with them. He needs to put your relationship first. Because when it comes to it, are the kids when they start their lives going to but their dad first? I doubt it. You both are going to be the only ones who are there for each other. If his kids are old enough to make these statements, then they are old enough to be told to mind their own business. They sound like they are very jealous and need a reality check. If he doesn't want to get some help with the marriage, then let him hit the door. You don't deserve this.
2007-01-21 08:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by ~Carolina Beach Girl~ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and his kids
2007-01-21 07:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋