i thougth i loved my husband when i met him i was just 18yrs just needed a piller for surport but i meet this guy about a year ago and i can't do without him
i feel so guilty if i hurt my husband and my son. but i can't refuse what my heart is feeling.
2007-01-21 07:34:51 · 13 answers · asked by MIMI T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
whatever you do be honest with him...seriously
2007-01-21 07:38:37 · answer #1 · answered by mandi6006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you take some time to yourself to really think on that? Avoid the other man for several weeks and tend to your role in the family. Your perspective is distorted right now and your heart isn't where it should be and you are torn about what to do. You really need some objective time away from the other man and back into your family, which you helped create 10 years ago, to decide whether or not it's worth it to break up your family. That's a pretty serious and permanent thing to do. It wouldn't just hurt your husband if you leave him. It will hurt your son too. Especially if you leave for another man, especially a man you've known for a mere year as opposed to the one you've been married to and grown comfortable with and created a family with for a solid 10 years.
2007-01-21 07:48:04 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why many marriages fall apart. One looks else where. When you should be looking at your husband and trying to fix things with him. You took your vows to him and now you have found your self looking out side of your marriage. You say you love him... You can not really no some one. Its not as if you have had all the time in the world to have a relation ship with him. After all you have been married for 18 years. Think of your son. When he is around 40 and married with kids. What would you say to him if he came to you and said his wife left him for his friend. She said that they loved each other and she had to follow her heart. I am sure you wouldn't say "well Hun maybe she did. She cant stop her heart from loving another man after all its her happiness she has to worry about. Not yours(your only her husband)"
I'm sorry if I am coming down on you but you need to step back and look at the big picture. Show your son what it means to stick to your word. What hard work it takes to make a successful marriage. "better or worse" not "until I feel like I love another"
2007-01-21 07:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is weird, cause I was Kinda going through the same thing. Honestly, what I found to be the best answer, is to talk to your husband, tell him the truth about how you are feeling. Then you both can make a decision together, after all you are still married. This also gives him a chance to make an educated decision. You are not alone, you are married, your husband will probably be there for you. And who knows, you may not be the one who ends up making the decision in the long run. Best wishes to all four of you.
2007-01-21 07:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by chaa107 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your willing to throw away a ten year marriage for a fling? Has your husband been a good provider for you and your son? Is he trying to make you happy? What is up with people these days? Marriage is a committment to raise a family together. It's not just a let's try this until we get bored and see a little temptation. This other man is just that a temptation to destroy your family. Please, put your focus where it belongs, on your marriage. I guess the advice and peoples willingness to just throw away a marriage explains why over 75% of American homes wind up in divorce. Trust me on this one. Even after psychologically damaging your child and yourself from a divorce. Later on down the line if you hook up with this guy, you will get bored and get tempted again. I'm sick of hearing people treating marriage like it is disposable.
2007-01-21 07:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by krzylove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the boyfriend. It doesn't matter about your feelings right now, you have a son to love and protect and take care of and until you send him off to college you have an obligation to him and your family. Don't be selfish, you might never get over this other guy, but you made other decisions long ago that prevent you from abandoning your family. Watch the movie "Bridges of Madison County" --you'll see what I mean.
2007-01-21 07:40:51 · answer #6 · answered by XOXOXOXO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My only answer is to be honest to your heart. My mother and father was married and not happy at all the whole 28 years. They only stayed together due to me and my brother. I think that you need to look deep in your heart and find out which direction you would like to go. It sounds like you are not "in love" with your husband. Weigh your options, write them down them chosse which one will be the best for you and your son.
2007-01-21 07:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by Lizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what ever you do be honest with your husband.. It will hurt him but in the long run it will better him if you tell him an not let him find out that your messin around bhind his back.. Follow what your heart tells you.. best of luck
2007-01-21 07:42:21 · answer #8 · answered by pruittsgurl_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your husband doing for you that you cannot do for yourself?
What is this new guy doing for you that you cannot do for yourself??
For your son's sake should you put your own desires behind on the back burner, and honestly, if this guy loves you, he will understand.....
2007-01-21 07:40:30 · answer #9 · answered by What Will The Spill Kill? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop this guy and support your husband- you don't need a wedge in your marriage
2007-01-21 07:41:12 · answer #10 · answered by manblind1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gotta do what you gotta do. Just try to be as fair and kind as you possibly can.
2007-01-21 07:39:37 · answer #11 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋