My wife has lost all interest in sex, so I went out and found a mistress.
The mistress is fine, we see each other twice a week in a discreet location. My wife is fine too, because she doesn't know.
Everything seems cool.
Am I doing anything wrong?
2007-01-21 07:33:47 · 53 answers · asked by Panama Jack 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Sounds all good to me Jacky.. every one got to get lay ed somewhere.
If Doris don't want to party ..well she had the chance and at the end of the day your kit still belongs to you.
Sorry ladies but nobody has the right to demand celibacy from anyone just because THEY have "gone off it"
2007-01-21 09:08:32 · answer #1 · answered by bletherskyte 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Uh YEAH. Have you tried to find out WHY your wife doesn't have any interest in sex any more? You NEVER, EVER cheat on a spouse. It is ALWAYS wrong. You, need to find out what the problem is between you and your wife, and either work together to fix it, OR, if it can't be repaired, then end the marriage. No matter HOW discreet you may thinkyou are being, eventually, someone will find out and if they tell your wife...you might as well put your head between your legs and kiss you butt goodbye because you WILL be toast. Remember this: Alomony - the latin word for removing a mans testicles throught his wallet.
The fact that you even ask this question means that you already know that it is wrong and you are just looking for permission from someone to continue on with the activity. You already feel guilty about it and I'm betting that everything doesn't seem as "cool" as you want to convinve yourself it does.
Either fix the marriage; counseling or whatever, or end it, but DON'T continue on the way you are now. It isn't fair to ANYONE involved. Not to your wife that you're lying to and deceiving. Not to your mistress who is trapped with someone that she can't have a real realtionship with or a real future but doesn't want to leave either. And not even to your self. You have to be on guard so your wife doesn't find out, or anyone that might tell her. Eventually it WILL catch up with you and most than likely you will lose them both as well as friends and anyone else close that will no longer want anything to do with you becasue of it.
She trusts you, and you are betraying that trust, breaking the promise you made on your wedding day.
The Question you have to aske yourself is, "Do I still love my wife?" If the answer is yes, then the nest question is, "Does she still love me?" If the answer to that is also yes..then it isn't too late. Don't let it get to be too late. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you do.
2007-01-21 08:01:49 · answer #2 · answered by kveldulf_gondlir 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
'To thine own self be true'.
You are being unfaithful. It can only end in tears. What happens if your 'mistress' gets pregnant? Is no longer content to be a 'bit on the side' & wants you to leave your wife? Without doubt the relationship goes deeper with her - men are more able to keep the emotional side separate than women are. Also, your wife will, one day, find out: eg. your mistress wants a meal out on her birthday, someone spots you two & it gets back to your wife.
What to do? 1) End the deception and tell your mistress it was good while it lasted. 2) Work on your marriage - go to guidance if necessary. How did you feel about her when you first married? Try to recapture that. Offer to help a bit more with the chores/children; perhaps she's worn out. Take her away on holiday. She still wants sex, I'm sure, but it needs to be in the context of a loving relationship, and she hasn't got that with you at the moment. Start off with an offer to massage her back & take it from there. Remember that a woman's most powerful sexual organ is in her head - nice music, soft words from you and a massage...
Good luck.
2007-01-21 07:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tip, always look at the profile before answering a question.
Now, Panama Jack, I caught you out.
Naughty naughty, you are out on the streets of New York most days of the week aren't you?
You just wouldn't have time for a mistress;-)
Oh yes, in answer to your question, are you doing anything wrong? Yeah! Having a laugh at our expense, really, tut tut...
2007-01-21 10:36:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need to ask you already know the answer, of course it's wrong!!! You have promised to love and honor your wife, this is neither loving nor honoring,
How do you know that your 'mistress' is not messing around with other men? If she's willing to accept the fact that you are deceiving your wife, then she'll be ok with deceiving you, which can lead to an std. Which is totally unfair to your wife. Do you have children? What happens when your wife finds out? And believe me she will, I found out about all of my husband's liasions'. So don't go thinking that she won't; then what happens? You lose your wife and your kids. Cus no matter what when it comes to men and their dirty little secrets, you' guys are just to dumb, not to be caught.
2007-01-21 07:43:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes is wrong. Women are not fools; your wife probably already know or will find out very soon. If she do not want sex there most be a reason, may be it is the way you treat her or maybe she feel you don't love her like before (and she would be righ judging by you daring to ask if it wrong to cheat on her).
If you don't love her then let her go; if you both want to be together then talk about it; maybe if you put her the same energy and romance you put on the mistrees she would want to have more sex.
2007-01-21 08:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sure its fine if you dont mind her cheating on you too.... But the problem probably isn't sex, she probably doesnt feel connected to you any more, woman want to communicate and feel loved before they want sex, if you give them that then they are all over you.... too bad you dont just open up your mouth to her instead of someone else! You seem a bit selfish, maybe you should try giving instead of heading for the first get!
2007-01-21 13:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've kind of answered your question. If you have to 'discreetly' see your mistress and not tell your wife about it then there is obviously something inside you thats telling you its wrong. Otherwise you would have no trouble telling your wife about it and her giving her acceptance. Let me ask you this, if it was the otherway round and you found out, would you like it?
Its just a question of "don't do to others what you wouldn't like done yourself".
2007-01-21 08:03:43 · answer #8 · answered by thesaxman50 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its probably wrong because your marriage contract says so and you have agreed to it but provide you have done all you can to regain her interest in sex - brushed your teeth etc. I think it regret able but OK. There is a problem looming that you get hooked on the one you are having nooky with.
P.S. What is your wife's address?
2007-01-21 09:02:01 · answer #9 · answered by Professor 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is nether wrong or right it is what it is..But you looking for the way to justify your move..well, would you be painfully surprise to know soon that she does the same? have fun...Judge not... and she is ok not to know whole details of you being happy, for she might be happy with her world where you are definitely being excluded...You underestimate woman..She knows ...I like her already, wonderful quality to keep a peace at place. She doing excellent without notifying the World and justifying her happiness where you are no more integral part. Learn from her, man
2007-01-21 07:43:49 · answer #10 · answered by Oleg B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋