i got married june of 2006 but got pregnat in april of the same year by my now husband we started dating in febuary but been off and on for 6 years. anys recently i got an email from one of my husbands friends and found out that he was sleeping with his friends gf when i confronted my husband about it he still denied it then i showed him the email and he finally confessed but denied sleeping with her while i was pregnant yet she claims it was in may when they quit. me and my husband have resolved most of the problems but i still cant trust him. Is there any way to trust him again when i feel everything he says is a lie? someone please help me i dont want to lose him
2007-01-21 05:48:29 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One thing I suggest is therapy. You really can't ddo this on your on, youboth need a neutral party.Good luck
2007-01-21 06:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he cheated on you, you have every right to leave him. Counseling only helps when both of you WANT to fix the problems. He has to meet you half way. There's absolutely no reason why he should want female "friends." Female co-workers are different, that's something he likely won't be able to control. But how friendly he is to them, he certainly can. Continue counseling and go talk with your local pastor. It's amazing how much that helps. Trust isn't going to come easy but marriage isn't easy. That other woman should not be on your cell phone plan. Take a stand, if you haven't already, and remove her. He needs to realize how much this hurts you and the kids. You will hear a lot of people say leave him. And I'm not saying you shouldn't. But I am saying that God can work miracles and marriage should be given every chance possible before the alternative. Too many people use divorce as a first option and it's ruining this world. Remember marriage never ends, especially when children are involved. You will always run into this guy for the rest of your life. And you will remember all the pain you went through.
2016-05-24 06:12:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what happened: approach this subject by talking to your husband and explaining him how that made you feel. Also, be honest about how you found out about this. Don't accuse him, stay calm, and when he talks, let him finish before you respond back. If you both manage to stay calm, then you should be able to resolve this. Since your husband denies it, there is also a possibility that he didn't do what he gets accused of.
Once you both agreed on how to continue the relationship should you both be willing not to bring the subject back up. Trust will not come back over night, but in time it will--provided that the same thing won't happen again.
2007-01-21 06:07:32 · answer #3 · answered by What Will The Spill Kill? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When u married ur husband u made a choice n commitment, so do ur best to stick with him. It will take an enormous courage, tollarence n patience to be with him when u know that he's cheating on u. But there is a chance that u will win someday. After that i'm not saying life's gonna be exactly happily ever after. But ur family will be ok. If he loves u truly he'll come back to u. If he is abusing u in any kind leave him coz ur life n ur baby's life worth more than that. Hope u'll make a right choice!! Good Luck.
2007-01-21 06:13:47 · answer #4 · answered by Tanya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he made u have to go through hell and high water to get the truth. doesn't matter when the cheating took place, if u were pregnant or not, it is still cheating. no it will be some time before your able to trust, and may never because if he has shown no remorse, or acknowledged he hurt u . also if u have not been allowed to voice how this has affected u, and if he has shown u no sympathy. if he has lied to u to get out of having to be confronted, he is either trying to avoid owning up to it, or he was afraid if he came clean u would leave him or be hurt, maybe in denying it he was saving your heart, as bad as lying seems depends on his motive, if it was a selfish self serving one it wasn't right.he wants u to believe the affair ended when u became pregnant, so u will think he somehow holds that as something sacred. just have to watch him, and trust your intuition, as it never lies, and warns us when there is something we need to figure out.
2007-01-21 06:08:34 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not intended to be mean, but Once a cheater-Always a cheater. If he has done this to you before he will continue to do so. The things is this, like most guys that do this he will do whatever it takes to make amends until he thinks that things are okay again. Once he thinks everything is back to normal he will most likely start sleeping around again. You are probably better off giving him the boot and moving on.
2007-01-21 07:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by truckerman96 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about losing him, because you've never had him. He's been playing around from the start, and will continue to cheat. Why shouldn't he? You've allowed him to stay, even though he's been cheating during your "newly wed stage". So, why would you think he's quit? Apparently, you think you deserve nothing better, and perhaps you're right. Do you deserve better? Are you just something warm to come back to after he's done playing around with whatever warm body he's playing with currently? If so, stay with Prince Spermy. Otherwise get the heck out.
2007-01-21 06:17:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that the two of you seek counselors. If that is not a solution for you. Then I would tell him how knowing about his cheater makes me feel and that it may take a while for you to get over it but he needs to work with you to make your relationship better and to help you to build your trust in him back up. Everything takes time so time will heal all wounds,
2007-01-21 05:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by like it is 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered your own question "I don't want to lose him"
When a situation like this happens and you decide to stay with the person you have to forget and forgive.
This is going to be hard for you but you can't have a happy relationship with someone who you don't trust.
You can't learn to trust your husband again, he has to prove his trust to you.
Give him the benefit of the doubt seeing you want him in your life. Live life to the fullest and happiest with him and pray he doesn't ever do this again. Hopefully he has learned a lesson and doesn't want to lose you either.
2007-01-21 06:07:20 · answer #9 · answered by keeptrying4sure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are immaturity problems going on here and you both need to grow up and you both will in time.
you are hurt , very understand able.
you are pregnant, not the best time but OK deal with it.
i would keep better tabs on my husband.
Sounds like he is willing to work and is working on the marriage so give it some time and maturity on both parts love is trust and honestly is a good marriage so be open and tell him you still have doubts about him but you are working on them .
2007-01-21 05:57:08 · answer #10 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel, because my husband cheated on me too, and it is hard to get the trust back, but we are trying to work it out, plus he says he will not do it again, but I do not know.
There is always going to be mistrust there seeing how it happened but I would say talk it out and treat each other with love.
I can not say too much about it because it happened to me, but all I can say is just hang in there girl, things should get better.
2007-01-21 06:00:40 · answer #11 · answered by may s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋