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I just recently found out I am 4 weeks pregnant and I have a 3 year old son too. I am just wondering and asking for tips of how you involved your first born with the newborn and made it where the first did not feel left out. Any help will be appreciated. I'm just nervous that my son will have a hard time adjusting cause he is the first grandchild and everything to my parents too. Thanks for any help!

2007-01-21 05:46:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Newborn & Baby

7 answers

I just went through the exact same thing. My baby is 11 weeks old and my son is 3. And he was also the only grandchild and the only greatgrand child so you know he was spoiled. But anyway when I started to show we explained to him about the baby in my tummy and how it was going to be a little brother or sister. We read books about new babies. I also let him go to the sonogram appointments so that he could see the baby. I think that that helped make it more real for him. We also went through the baby department every time we went to walmart and I'd let him pick something out for the baby. So by the time the baby got here he was really excited. He's not at all jealous. He always wants to hold the baby and kiss on her. But make sure after the baby is born that you make time just for you and him. I'll leave the baby with daddy and me and my son go on "dates" to McDonalds or the movies or something just so that he has alone time. Good luck!

2007-01-21 11:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by dixiefrogs 2 · 0 0

Congrats on expecting another. I have 3 kids,11yrs,9yrs,and 20months. The way I did it was to involve the eldest in the care of the baby as much as HE wants to be involved but don't force him.An important thing is to always spend alone time with the oldest one whenever you can so he doesn't feel left out. Get the oldest something that only he can share with the new one,like a book or a toy of some kind that it can be a special bond between him and his new slibling. When my youngest son was born my husband took my older 2 to the gift store in the hospital and let them pick out a bear for they're new brother,and now both kids will not let him go to sleep until that bear is in his crib with him. Good luck. It can be a very exciting experience for all of you.

2007-01-21 14:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

My oldest sons are 22 months apart. They are now 16 and almost 15. I always let the eldest help with feeding and bathing. I also would put the little one down for a nap first, then read the oldest a story before his nap. Once they were both asleep, I'd grab a shower and lunch...lol. If you could have someone watch over the baby once a week and take the 3 year old out for lunch or play a game or something he enjoys without interuptions, that will help.
Congrats on expecting! I hope all goes well.

2007-01-21 13:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by blondeqtpie13 6 · 0 0

In your second trimester, start talking about the baby. Try to get your wee one excited about it. Talk about having a little brother or sister and how nice it will be. Tell your son about how much he'll be able to teach the new baby. He'll be able to show him or her how to use toys, how to take a bath, how to eat with a spoon, etc, etc...

Once the baby is born, hold BOTH of them in your lap. Let the 3yo hold his brother or sister. Let the little one give the baby a bottle sometimes - or at least help hold the bottle while you hold the baby.

Make sure you spend plenty of time with the 3yo after the baby is born. Set aside 1/2 an hour a day to read to him, play with him, cook with him, or just talk with him - without the baby around.

You'll do just fine, Mom! Congrats!

2007-01-21 13:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by Meg M 5 · 0 0

My oldest son is 8 and I gave to birth to another boy almost a month ago. I included my oldest in my pregnancy as much as possible. He took time out of school to go to my ultrasound and I let him talk to the baby in my tummy. It was great. When baby was born he came and visited us in the hospital and then went to grandma's for a few days so I could recover. When we all came home I let him hold the baby and help me out by getting me things the baby needs. It makes him feel included and like he's helping out a lot.

2007-01-21 14:36:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

My son decided that he had a baby inside his belly too, he chose its sex (male), named it (Andrew), and made me feel it kick (he would push his stomach out with my hand on it). He was excited to have the new baby come, and had resolved to give her all of his favorite toys. When the day fnally came he got to go to Grandma and Grandpas hotel and hang with them then come to the hospital about 2 hours after she was born. He could not have been more disinterested! After a quick glance and a "oh, that's our baby out of your belly" he asked to go back to the hotel and go swimming. I was so surprised after all the talking we had done about the new baby and how excited he was that he would hardly pay any attention to her. A few days later G&G went home and it was just us. Our first few talks about the baby included him asking when we could get rid of her (he still wanted her to be his sister, and wanted to be a big brother, he just wanted her to go live somewhere else). Now (8 weeks later) he's resolved that we don't send any member of our family to live anywhere else. He loves to help me give her baths (he gets the bottom, her feet, and I get the top, everything else), fetch burp clothes for me, pick out her clothes (they tend to match as well as the clothes he picks out for himself), and sing songs to her (his best is Rod Stewarts "Have I told you Lately That I Love You"). Its taken a bit of adjustment ("my dad is my dad, not Aidyn's dad), and the best was the first night home when he announced "This is not going to work for me with the baby in my room." But all in all its been a fairly easy transaction, and because she still sleeps a lot we get to have lots of one-on-one time together still.

2007-01-21 13:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 0 0

This is a normal fear but you will be surprised how smoothly things go, I'm sure! Speaking as a mom of 4, it actually gets EASIER! With one you have to be all things/all the time...with more they spend a LOT of time playing with & entertaining each other. Congratulations & good luck to you!

2007-01-21 14:38:12 · answer #7 · answered by reereebsm 3 · 0 0

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