He has friends who encourage him to do stupid things. Parents are absent and don't seem to care about him. (I can't do anything about them.) I moved out of home years ago, so I'm also "absent and don't seem to care". But I do.
He was caught driving once and was warned; our mother assumed that was the end of it, but it's not.
He broke his leg badly last week "falling down stairs" (I think he must have been up to no good). He's in hospital now; seems like a good opportunity to talk to him alone.
What would be the most effective things to say to him (goal: him stopping his bad behaviour for good)?
I don't think it would be best to lecture him parent-style or threaten him. I'm happy to keep the past arson and driving a secret. I just want him to stop.
I want to encourage him to make correct decisions by himself. I want to be proud of him, not worried about him. And I don't want him ending up unhappy with a screwed-up life; or injured (again); or dead; or anyone else injured or dead.
2007-01-21 05:28:42 · 7 answers · asked by Daria 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
tell on the dumb *ss
2007-01-28 05:41:04 · answer #1 · answered by ♥sexy_love♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what you say to him:
Stop being a follower and do what you know is right. There's no success to be found in being everyone else's scapegoat. The friends that you think you have are only using you for entertainment and would blame you in an instant for anything that they can, and since people know how you are because of all the stupid stuff you did already, nobody will believe it wasn't you. You'll be dogged all your life unless you stand up to the people that have made you a slave to their every wish. They say jump and you jump even if its into a pile of thorns but none of them would go there themselves. Why should they when they've got you to do it for them? So let them be them by themselves so that you can be you without them because I know you are not the type of person inside who does those things. They're just taking you for a ride and when you don't entertain them anymore, they'll forget you like yesterday's trash.
2007-01-27 01:51:08 · answer #2 · answered by RB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your younger brother needs to dump his friends, and get some better friends. So if you could talk to him, and tell him about his friends, and how they encourage him to do stupid things, and how hanging around these people can be hazardous to his life like you said when you said "And I don't want him ending up unhappy with a screwed-up life; or injured(again); or dead, or anyone else injured or dead." Also a really good way to make him understand this is have him watch some movies about this like Back To The Future Part II, if you have the satellite, or cable or whatever have him watch this movie especially the part when Dr. Brown, and Marty go to the future, and Marty's mom discusses with Marlene(Marty's daughter) about how Marty got in the automobile accident that ruined his life. But then again just in case you have never seen this movie I will let you in on it. Okay see Marty gets sensitive when somebody calls him a "chicken" this causes him to lose his judgement. Like when Needles in old classmate, and a colleague to him in the future calls him a chicken. He proves to Needles he is not a chicken by participating in an illegal transaction which his boss was monitoring, as a result Marty lost his job. So one of the lessons here from this movie is people that encourage you to do stupid things are not your friends. They are just insecure bullies like Needles, and why should you care what they think, and try to prove something to them? You do not, just be yourself, and do not hang around idiots like your brother's friends are idiots, and if he continues hanging around these losers his life will be forever ruined, and other people may suffer because of his actions. So help him straighten out before it is to late, so he can surround himself around people who are about something, and have a good life.
2007-01-29 03:42:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you're willing to forget the past, but you're scared for him. You'll keep everything secret if he'll just stop.
Tell him you need a brother. You get that he wants to be a man but he has to survive to do that.
In the end, sadly, your powers are limited.
2007-01-21 15:00:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His your bro just tell him you love him. He will eventually learn not to do stupid thing but don't worry about him live your life.... He is your Mom problem not yours!
2007-01-26 23:07:24 · answer #5 · answered by Viki M. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree w/ the first person who answered...BIBLES are a great tool for scaring the crap outta a trouble maker...tell him he can go to jail for arson. once wen i was like 9 i played with matches in a trailer, and i had to go to this like class at the fire dept. and it taught me a lot....suggest one to ur mom
2007-01-21 14:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by ♣BrownEyedBeauty♣ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give him a Bible!!!!:)
2007-01-21 13:53:23 · answer #7 · answered by Brown-Eyed-Beauty 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋