the 16 year old runs away and the police say they can't do anything. the 19 year old is using drugs. i love them and it is breaking my heart. they both have mental disabilities. one depression the other bipolar. do you have any advice?
2007-01-21 04:46:16 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pets ➔ Fish
Buy them a large aquarium,put it in their bedroom, tie them up in front of the tank & let them watch it 4 awhile. It jus might calm them down by allowing them 2 discover something fascinating.
2007-01-22 09:41:27 · answer #1 · answered by antonio bigfish baccala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is 19 years old - to me the "kid at Christmas" thing does not apply to her. She totally defied you and manipulated you by calling Dad behind your back (also with Dad not knowing what you already told her). I would feel angry and completely unappreciated. If it were me, I would say - look you couldn't wait the few hours you were told to, now you can wait longer. I'd take the phone away (if even just for one day) just to prove my point that when I say something - I mean it. She still lives with you so I would say you have every right to punish her that way. The love of her life will get over it - I am assuming you do have a home phone. (then again, I think kids these days forgot how to use those) Don't worry if she hates you for a little while - what teenager hasn't "hated" their parents at one time or another? Most importantly - discuss it with your husband before you do anything. If parents contradict each other when it comes to issues with the children like that, then there is trouble. Good luck!
2016-05-24 05:46:27 · answer #2 · answered by Maryann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i got separated from my parents, i realized how lucky i was to be with them. how good they've been with me, how much love I've got, and how unfair I've been, projecting my frustration on them.
Anyhow, i would wish you, to have a chance to send your boys away for a while, so they will see the world, the people, and that no one else in this world is able to do what you, their mother, are doing for them. No one else will give them so much love and try to understand them, even when they treat one bad.
My mother said always, that nobody in this world needs me, as she does. She is right.
And do not worry, they must be still fine boys, just having their difficult time. Hormones can drive people crazy, make them restless....and so on. .About drugs, well they must be the reason for the depressions. Tell your boys to use their talents, there is no better drug then self realization. Support them as well as you can in this case.
One more thing, do something for your self, do not run all the time behind them. Change your habits, and do not react as usually, it will take you out of this circle in which you are probably running every day. Take a step aside and watch yourself, your children. Then do something that you love, that makes you forget troubles, and gives you wings... give your mind and heart a break. After that, the solution to your problems might come very easy to you. Even if not, you would have had a nice, relaxing time.
2007-01-21 05:16:51 · answer #3 · answered by zaraza 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi. First off, your question is placed under the topic of fish. Ok. I am 19 years old and I have both depression and bipolar disorder. My Mom has had to deal with me being in and out of hospitals, suicide attempt, etc. My brother does drugs and I am 90% sure he is dealing then as well. From a child's perspective, I would recommend telling your kids that you love them. There really isn't anything you can do at this point but reassure them that you love them and that they could be so much more. Try to avoid fights concerning what they are doing. You will not be able to change their mind no matter how hard you try. They want to have to change. Something will click, whether it is tomorrow or in 5 years that what they're doing is not productive. As I said, just love them. Do not give them money to go out or give them money unless they earn it first. Try to engage them in family activities. Make their favorite food for dinner one night and sit and have a family dinner. Tell an old funny story about something they did as kids that they will think is funny. When you hear them talking to their friends about how they want to go see a new movie, tell them that it seems interesting (even if it doesn't) and tell them they're invited to go see it with YOU. It is hard for me to watch my brother do drugs but since I haven't been lecturing him about it, he comes home sober sometimes. Even though I don't really like guitar, I will listen to him play and tell him how I loved the song. All they need is love. They are doing this to get your attention. You need to do the opposite. Don't react to them coming home high or don't become overly angry when they run away. Tell them in a calm voice that it's bad for them and that's it. If you loosen up they will give more. It's like a seesaw. My Mom stopped yelling in my face. She would say she wasn't fighting with me and walk away and go read. It would get me angry that she wasn't yelling at me, that she wasn't giving me attention, and I learned that yelling at her demanding things wasn't going to work anymore. I had to earn them. I can't imagine what you are feeling but from a child's perspective, just love them and support them. You don't approve of their behavior but they are still your children. Don't ignore them or try to change them, just tell them that you love them. When they get a C in school don't be mad that it's a C but tell them that you're proud of them because it's not a D. Good Luck.
2007-01-21 06:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its too late to learn a new dog new tricks. You should have started from the day they were born teaching them respect. I have one daughter and I taught her early to respect things and other people. Today she is an artist, lecturer and high school teacher and loves it.
It breaks my heart to hear how some teen agers are turning out to become. I think I would take them to a counceler, but not a shrink. These boys should have critized from an early age. Sorry Mom.
2007-01-21 04:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by bsbmo33 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
put the doper in detox with the understanding that he completes the program& changes his ways & that u love him with all your heart & always will but he will not be allowed to live in your home unless it is by your rules no exceptions!!!!! as for the 16 yr.old get him in a program for unrully children (counseling,bootcamp,etc) put your foot down& keep it there sometimes love has to hurt to help chec k with your local family &childrens servicesfor options hope this helps hang in there
2007-01-21 05:44:51 · answer #6 · answered by slapjack458 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
have you disciplined them always or have you just tried to in the later years. that is generally a problem, people thinking it is cute when they are little and then upset when it continues later.
disabilities are not excuses and you can't always help them. unfortunately, there are limits to everything, including how much you can help your children and how much they listen.
you could always try counseling.
2007-01-21 04:53:29 · answer #7 · answered by JaSam 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tough love and or an intervention for the drug user, counseling for both them & you, as it is as difficult for everyone, try getting them involved with a vocational training program, so that they see that they can have a prosperous future. this really should be in the social science or parenting sections...
2007-01-21 06:47:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is the pet section on fish.....Am I missing something?
I am sorry for your situation, though, it can break a mother's heart.
2007-01-21 05:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by cdpaso 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your fish is bipolar?how can a fish type on the computer?did you adopt?what??im sooo confused..fishie cops
2007-01-21 10:10:03 · answer #10 · answered by Ladyinpinkッ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋