My long-distance boyfriend of 3 years told me last night that he's fed up to come home always to an empty flat alone and that he was wishing I was there. I thought it's sweet and told him that I miss him too,that it'd be nice if we could organise a meeting. We see each other about once a month. This morning he sent me a text that he didn't say it to be sweet and that he's fed up of having a girlfriend who's far and that it's been too long like this and he doesnt want to continue like this. I told him that I understand him but what does he want to do? He said we really need to think about it and he said not to expect always a solution from him, I also need to do something. He was looking for a job near me but could not find one. I started to be scared and asked him if he wants to end it. He got upset and told me that I always take everything as a threat instead of trying to find a solution with him and that he doesn't like that. He said to stop worry like that. We'll talk tonight.
2007-01-21 04:29:20 · 9 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you already know the answer, maybe he wants you to find a job near him and move there too.
If he wanted to leave he would have left a long time ago. He just needs you with him...maybe he's getting advances from other women and he's affraid to fall for them and cheat or somthing
anyway, you'll probably find out tonight when you guys talk
2007-01-21 04:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I know it seems like you put so much time and effort into this relationship and that you cant just "throw away 3 years" that easily. But the reality is that those 3 yrs are just a blink of an eye compared to the rest of your life. Relationships are hard enough, you dont need to be in one where one of the persons says whether it will work or not. When its true love it doesnt matter how far you live, it will work. While he stuggles to find out if he really wants to be with you, give him time. Dont call as much, show him how it would feel if he chose not to be with you. Do something good for yourself. Later in life you will see that whatever happens happened for a reason.
2007-01-21 12:41:56 · answer #2 · answered by bizngigz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible he wants to find a solution, but at the same time the biggest factor to him is distance. Unless you can find a way of getting closer in distance, I think it probably lead to a break-up unfortuently. It seems that is the thing bothering him most. How far apart? If your seeing only once a month, there probably is some good distance involved. Who will it be a greater sacrafice for with the moving? Is it worth it? I know you love him and he loves you, but who will have to give up for to move? If its to much for either one of you, it may lead to resentment down the road, especially if one of you picks up everything and moves and you find it won't work. I wish you the best!
2007-01-21 12:37:00 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's also possible that he is feeling quite a bit of pressure (and guilt, perhaps) from being involved in a long distance relationship and being responsible for your happiness and not being able to do much about it since he's not around.
The best thing you can do is be your own person, find your own way to make yourself happy wherever you are, regardless of whether or not you are with him. That will relieve the pressure and make him feel like you don't need him to be happy and that you just want to be with him because of who he is. Once you do that, things will fall into place.
2007-01-21 13:04:40 · answer #4 · answered by PhilippeDeFair 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hay Viloet, Its Angel here.
I know what you are feeling. Its just that we try so hard to make the one we love happy, but its not enough. He should have known what he was getting himself into when he asked you out!! And now he cant deal with it. so its your fault. Men can be so mean. Give him one more try and tell him everything from start to finish how you feel and what he is doing to you. And if he still feels the way he does, then you deserve better.
2007-01-21 12:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man is throwing a tissy and he wants you to fix it for him. He might as well be crying for his mommy to kiss his booboo.
He wants you to suggest moving in with him and then do it. It's kind of manipulating when you really think about it. Is this the way he always gets his way? He's got your nerves on end because he doesn't know how to communicate what it is that he really wants.
2007-01-21 12:35:54 · answer #6 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe YOU should find a job near HIM?
I can understand his frustration--never seeing someone special to you is really hard.
I think you need to talk about how deep your feelings really are....if it is impossible for either of you to relocate, perhaps you should part ways and move on...
2007-01-21 12:35:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should tell him you are gonna move in with him and see what he says about that if he says that its not a good idea then he probably already has someone else.
2007-01-21 12:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, maybe he just wants you to try to find a job near him, since he already tried to find one near you. I can understand that.
2007-01-21 12:47:48 · answer #9 · answered by Casey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋