I cant stand living with my husband. Im tired we just got into a fight right now. I feel like i really hate him alot. We have 3 kids thats y i havent left him but im sick of it. im crying right i feel like **** and i dont wat to do.
2007-01-21 04:26:52 · 8 answers · asked by lupe s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, first calm down.. your not the first to ever feel this way.. and u wont be the last.. right after a fight isnt when anyone should make a decision that would alter everyones life.. called making a hasty decision..
Why are u fighting so much..whats the root of the problems that your having? People in marriage go through down cycles , and they can last awhile..u get into a marital funk of rollercoaster days one minute things are fine next minute your fighting and u think if we are fighting this much it will never work.. Both of u need to go to couseling to figure out what is going wrong, what can u "both" do to make things better.. u fell in love once.. you can fall in love again.. u just have to focus on why u did..
If he wont go.. then u go.. they will teach u the tools u'll need to stop all this fighting and actually get back to "communicating" again..in a healthy way..
Your both still there..so u both must still have atleast have a small bit of hope that things will get better.. and as long as theres that hope..u shouldnt give up .. do u really think those people that have managed to make it 50 years of marriage never had a problem in their life? Never felt like killing the other one so to speak, or thinking they hate the other.. at some point in that 50 years.. they fought through it.... they found a way to get through..and thats what u need to do..is realize that this is not going to go away over night..things arent going to change over night, but if u both love each other even the slightest bit..that u can pull this together with work from both, cause marriage is a partnership and one cant pull it together on their own..it has to be a joint effort.. Remember the good days, the good memories..the moments that u felt totally complete with him.. perhaps the days ur kids were born, ur wedding day..etc..when things feel like u cant go on, remember those days..dwell in them remember how u felt those days.. and fight to bring that love that u felt those days back.. Your kids are a reason to fight to hold on to your marriage.. but there not a reason to stay if your completely done.. if you want ur marriage to work it has to be for all of you as a family for your happiness, his happiness and their happiness.. but please dont give up on your family untill u've tried everything possible to hold it together , meaning counseling.. everything.. that way when ur kids get older, u can atleast look them in the eye and know u did all u could to keep their family together before totally giving up...
2007-01-21 04:43:00 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all do you love him or not? If you love him then you need to talk about things and work them out. If you don't there is no need to put your kids through the fighting. You should never stay just for the kids. It is alot worse on them if you stay for them. If that makes since. If you get a divorce then they are away from the fighting. You just have to make sure that you get along for their sake when you take them to him or he picks them up. Marriage's will have fights and can make you stronger if you let it. They fights can be worked out. Love is the factor and trust. Do you love and trust him? It will all work out somehow it always does. Good Luck.
2007-01-21 13:01:12 · answer #2 · answered by browneyes79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling and help here for you and for your marriage. Do not hate him get the help you need to love him. Also do not stay just for the kids as that is not the right reason to stay. If you dont think the marriage is worth working on or saving then leave now.
2007-01-21 12:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first...i see a lot of "i's". what you want is no longer the priority. you happiness and what you want out of life comes secondary to your children. you kids are much better off with both parents in the same home than if you spit up...in almost every case. the obvious exceptions are abuse of any kind toward them. if you and your husband can try to keep your issues out of their direct line of sight that would be better. obviously our society's view of disposing of marriages is not working so work on being cordial to each other and...yes staying together for the good of the kids is a completely valid reason to stay together.
2007-01-21 13:15:46 · answer #4 · answered by foghorn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to weigh your options, if you can't live with him, you will have to figure out a way to live without him. Although this sounds tough, so is living in a living hell, which would you rather have? If counseling and diplomacy doesn't work, then having a private war won't work either. Life is too short, do what you have to do, not only for yourself but your children as well, they are part of the picture too, see what is happening to them also, if divorce is the only way, then take it.
2007-01-21 13:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by fman440 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont use the kids as an excuse to stay in a miserable marriage.
2007-01-21 13:10:49 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce him and get custody of your kids and raise them yourself thats what i did with my first husband he and his mom made me fill miserable most of the time i tryed to stick it out on account i had two kids and i was afraid to leave afraid he would take our kids away from me but after 10years i left and got a divorce and i got custody and raised them myself he just got vistation and had to pay child support my daughters are grown now
2007-01-21 12:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot stand.. Leave him.. would be better not only for you but for the kids as well... Think of them...
2007-01-21 12:46:34 · answer #8 · answered by simplegirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋