Like any self-respecting chap-about-town, there is nothing I enjoy more of an evening than partaking in wagers. So far, I have lost my car and £56,000 on this sport of gentlemen, on wagers as diverse as 'how far can you run with a pig on your back' to 'how many rashers of bacon can you stuff up your nostrils'. It's all rather rummy fun, of course.
The dashed problem with all this merriment is that my betrothed sees this as detrimental to our relationship. It has got so absurd now that she is denying me my conjugal rights as long as I continue to make foolhardy bets. How can I set this young harridan straight?
2007-01-21 04:13:54 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When I return from my Gentleman's Club at five every morning, expecting my bedroom dues, I recieve nothing but complaint and the turgid ramblings of a woman confused. It's intolerable.
2007-01-21 04:19:32 · update #1
£56,000 is hardly breaking the bank, I think she's being a little overly-dramatic.
2007-01-21 04:32:48 · update #2
She's an impertinent little flippertigibet, that's true, and should be taught her proper place in a gentleman's home. You have every right, sir, to thrash the cheeky little minx with your riding crop and teach her a lesson that she won't forget.
You have done her the great honour of allowing her to share your bed, and the promise of sharing your name and bearing you some fine sons in the future. Is this how you will allow her to repay your generosity?
Nay, sir, this wench deserves to be taught a lesson and her proper place in your fine home. Your conjugal rights, and your right to bet your money however you see fit, are a gentleman's prerogative.
You know, some of this insolent behaviour may have been caused by this filly's parents teaching her to read and write. That never does woman any good. What next, I ask you - they'll be wanting the vote!
2007-01-21 05:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like she needs to put you on a budget, if you keep it up, she should leave your takin-the-buss-*ss, and if it is her perogative, find less of a loser (gambling or otherwise).
As for "conjugal rights", think of them more as "opportunities". If you quit being such a dumbass, maybe she'll give you an opportunity. She's not the one with the problem, you are, and if you want to keep her around for those opportunities, YOU need help with your foolhardy gambling. It sounds as if your setting this young harridan straight out the front door (that is if you haven't lost your home yet.
2007-01-21 12:26:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try the other option Dicky, old chap - sure you must have had a go whilst boarding - you know, batting for the other side as such, might keep you ticking over. If none other those buggers will have you I'm afraid you're stuffed - some of us fiilys are getting a bit too big for our wellies I'm afraid. Times up for for rotters!
2007-01-21 12:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by N17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bet you can't???
EDIT:
But seriously Dicky old chap...They simply don't understand the finer points of a chaps existence. I suggest you make a ruse by pretending to close of the avenue of pleasure for a while...resume the conjugal beastliness...get her heavy with the Snapples seed..then continue with your life while she is diverted by nappies and suchlike!
Worked for Dear Uncle Shrimpy!
2007-01-21 12:16:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have just married a casino or the race track instead.
Just sign all your dollars to them seems that's where it's going and then see if they will give you conjunctive rights when you lose.
All the best of luck to you.
2007-01-21 12:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by Veevee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 will get you 10 that you two break the bank on a divorce
2007-01-21 12:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by bl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop acting like such a jack-@ss, and she'll be fine.
2007-01-21 12:17:24 · answer #7 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol made me smile, mr chav about town
2007-01-21 12:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by duncan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋