I need some advice on how not to be intimidated by others. I think I have a good personality and I get along?

Question

with almost everyone but I'm afraid to speak my mind because I want to be liked and I'm so afraid of confrontation. I don't have a problem with my husband or kids its just everyone else. I think those people with the stronger personalities can sense what I'm like and they go for the kill. I know there is a fine line because I don't want to be labeled a _itch. It is funny though when people are in a group they have more balls than when they are alone to be ugly to someone else.

Answer 1

If you want to be liked, you have to start by liking yourself. You have a right to say what you think, other people do, don't they? So of course, you can, too. Not everyone has the same point of view. It's OK to present your own for others to consider. It's also OK if they don't agree with you. You don't agree with everything you hear, do you?

You don't have to be confrontational. Try being tactful when you speak your mind. First take all the emotion out of it. Just present your viewpoint along with your rationale and evidence...why you think that way. Something like this: "I can see your point of view. My thoughts run along these lines..." and say it with a smile, with confidence. And remember, they don't have to agree with you, so don't expect that. So you don't have to press your point, argue, trying to "win." Try it numerous times and perfect your approach and get in the habit of contributing your thoughts. Your world will be a better place for it.

Answer 2

Get your toes wet by speaking your mind on minor matters. Once you have a little confidence, use humor, questions, and neutral language. The questions serve to start a discussion and often times the other person will learn new things and perhaps change his or her mind. Neutral language is valuable in any discussion and avoids confrontations or loss of face by every speaker. Never let yourself be intimidated by someone being ugly. Simply saying something like, "I don't agree with you, but I can easily see why you think ..." and briefly repeat back what that person said. You'd be surprised how often the person will turn sweet or at least shut up. :-)

Answer 3

Some people like myself actually get ang better with people who have different opinions. I love a good debate! I'd rather spend an evening with someone who had something to contribute to the conversation than some airhead who just agreed with the most popular opinion. You need to believe in yourself! Your husband loves you, your kids love you..you're SOMEBODY! You're not a nothing! I admire people who speak their mind, even if it means disagreeing with me. You can make your point without seeming confrontational, just say things like "I see your point but personally I think..." or "What you said made sense but have you ever thought about this....?"

Answer 4

What is it about confrontation that bothers you most? Are you trying to avoid someone being rude to you, hurting your feelings? Why is it so important to be liked by everyone? Because that is impossible. You will meet people you do like and who like you for just the way you are. But for everyone, whether you're introverted or extroverted, there will be people now and then that simply don't like you and whom you don't like. Sometimes we can't even put our finger on why. I don't worry about being a people pleaser because you won't please everyone all the time. Speak your mind and exercise your freedom of speach! Let the chips fall where they may. As long as you're not rude about it, most people can accept the opinions of others without getting mad!

Answer 5

Im the same way, I really hate confrontation, rather avoid it. You could always throw in a joke, that usually diffuses a situation.

Answer 6

You need confidence.