me and my husband have been haveing problems he says i spend to much money and i let my little girl do what ever she wants. I told him i would change but he say he can not belive me because i said i would in the past and never did.
2007-01-21 02:55:24 · 16 answers · asked by JESSICA H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Integrity is very important, esp. to men.
Since you already have a reputation of "high quality" speech, yet "low quality" actions, - then you must respect his language and do things that you say you're going to do.
No body should be using the 'tool' of separation to get what they want. But if he's the man of the house, and it seems you need to be 'managed', then he should step-up-to-the-plate, and give you the management you need. Since it's apparent you can't manage yourself.
2007-01-21 02:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by MK6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...lets see. You made an empty promise to him, and never followed through. It's like hitting a puppy and saying you'll never do it again.
Don't just SAY yuo'll change, do it. If you REALLY love him, you would CURB you're spending habbits.
Look at what you buy things, and think in your head, do I really NEED these things? Designer clothing or bills? Yeah it's nice to look good..but hell, you can't look good if the lights are out. Entertainment system or savings for retirement? New glasses for my husband or a facial at the new expesive spa...See how selfish that sounds? Start putting him FIRST and then he will belive that you are changing.
As for your daughter, well disipline her better! There is NOTHING worse than a bratty tween girl. So, STOP letting her get away with stuff. If she pouts, and screams and throws a fit, ignore it. She will say EVERYTHING in the book to hurt you, but hey guess what...get over it. You are her MOTHER not her best friend. LIl Sally is her best friend (or whoever) She acts up, take everything away. And I do mean everything. Clothing, entertainment, makeup, dessert, her fave meal..ect. Leave her with three pants, and two shirts, undies, socks and shoes. Make them all match, but tell her that's all she is going to get untill she behaves. I promise whatever she did, you won't do it again. And no, thats NOT child abuse, because...you are giving her clothing to wear. BUt not very stylish. And I don't wanna hear "but that will hurt my childs self-esteem" no it won't. It will teach her "Ugh, if i wanna be cool and look cool and like impress people at like schhool, I better not p#ss my mom off..that ***** will take all my cool cloths.."
So, now that you know what your husband wants, JUST DO IT. Stop making excus's and feeling sorry for yourself and DO IT. If you love him, you'll change for REAL this time.
2007-01-21 03:07:26 · answer #2 · answered by Pandora 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello Jessica,
You do need to cut back on spending money and also take parenting classes to learn how to discipline your daughter. Seek counseling and help and prove to him you have changed by starting to do it and once he see that you are at least making an effort and working on it then he may return to you but until and if he does you just work on you and changing you and being a better mom to your daughter... This is what matters for now hon.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
2007-01-21 03:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's your roadmap to togetherness:
1. Read The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
www.daveramsey.com
2. Write out a monthly budget based on your income and expenses
3. Read a good book on PARENTING & DISCIPLINE
4. Call a conference with your husband and show him what you have done and how you intend to alter your behavior
5. Have him go over your budget line by line and you both discuss it. Hopefully, you can agree on some things and negotiate others.
Good Luck
2007-01-21 03:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by snvffy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So did he leave you?
If there are issues then you have to work on this together as a team. set up some sort of plan and follow it, suggest counselling and ask for his help, to get some sort of compromise that suits you both. Watch your spending and make sure your child does not grow up without boundaries and becomes a spoilt brat, you really do not want that. And if you promise him to do something, stick to your word.
2007-01-21 03:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'd suggest you get real with the changes that you promised, and get into a few sessions of counseling.... anyone who cannot handle money and children ain't much of a wife, sweetie.... you're very immature...
In his place, I'd stay away until I saw a serious effort... like counseling!!!!! (You didn't change before --- your words, --- why should he believe you now???????????????) You want him back??? walk the talk.... he's a wise man
2007-01-21 03:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he could have somebody else and snoozing with you keeps his foot interior the door. the two he isnt completed enjoying or he likes the advantages of marriage ie. intercourse, yet doesnt want the committment. If he didnt want you to stroll away, he could say, I merely want greater time or some thing to permit you already know he's properly worth waiting for...Hes no longer doing that for you honey, its time to go on. especially situations, whilst i'm searching for a sturdy answer, all I could desire to do is faux my terrific chum is me, dealing with what i'm dealing with. What i could tell her to do could be diverse than what I do for myself, yet once you're taking a protracted demanding verify out his indicators and indicators, you're able to tell your terrific chum to furnish this loser his strolling papers, and finally end up a guy who can supply it to you each and every and each night because of the fact he's there, with you, the place he desires to be!!! tell him to no longer subject approximately coming living house, which you made his determination trouble-free for him, you desperate you didnt want him to!! sturdy luck
2016-11-26 00:00:13 · answer #7 · answered by gonneville 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to prove it whatever it is go get counsling for it, its a start and start enforcing things with your daughter if she is doing something wrong discipline her by taking her favorite things away put her in timeout etc, depending on your daughters age you have to take that into consideration also you can't punish a infant.
2007-01-21 03:13:14 · answer #8 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a job so u will have your own money, also offer to help out with the household bills, need to discipline the child, words are cheap meaningless, without action to back them up. saying and doing are two different things. sometimes we have to disipline ourselves and mature which may require giving something up for the good of our lives.
2007-01-21 03:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Jessica H,
Have you changed or are you going to play the same games and just want him back home? You need therapy!
2007-01-21 03:22:24 · answer #10 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋