and are often in a vehicle alone together for hours. I can tolerate her, but she wants to have personal conversations that I don't feel comfortable having with her. She asks about my religious preference, my family life, etc. She listens intently to my telephone conversations (my son calls me as soon as he gets home from school) and asks questions about what she's heard.
I can't do anything about the work relationship. Unless I want to be without a job, I do have to work with her, but I need a few words of advice on how to deal with her. I haven't been and will not be rude to her. Certainly there's a nice way to tell her to back off and keep her nose in work business. HELP!?
2007-01-21 02:34:12 · 12 answers · asked by CyndiDrum 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Maybe after a few responses like "Oh, gee Phyllis, I'm sorry - but it (was/is) personal!" ---she'll get the message, or at least get tired of asking.
Or maybe "Thanks for asking, but I'd rather not talk about it." Just keep up the neutral responses.
2007-01-21 02:38:13 · answer #1 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be as friendly and professional as possible, and when she asks you about something personal, just say something like "I think we should be focusing more on our work right now." Basically, the tactic is to divulge nothing to her, and instead of a "that's-none-of your-business" attitude, adopt the "I'd love to chat, but I'm being paid to work, not socialize" attitude. Do it nicely, not condescending though. This way, you look like the consummate professional, and she'll be less likely to nose into your affairs if it makes her look unprofessional. There are laws in place as well that protect your right to privacy, so don't let her bully you. Just take the high road and be sweet-as-pie and hopefully she'll get a clue and back off. Good luck!
2007-01-21 11:07:57 · answer #2 · answered by kimmunism 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you are a very private person, and although you "appreciate" her interest in your personal life, you much rather keep your relationship strictly professional. Tell her that you feel it is better for work productivity and be firm about it.
When she asks you a personal question, just calmly say,
"I rather not talk about this now," and right away change the subject to work related matters; she cannot fault you for focusing on work, right?
continue in this manner. calmly, always, and with a level tone of voice, and when your son calls while you are at work, let him know to keep it short, just to inform you he is home OK from school and he can tell you all about his day when you are home.
2007-01-21 10:54:05 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can't you ask your employer to put you with another co-worker? If they value you as an employee then they will move one of you, if they don't I wouldn't give them any more of my time. Find a job that the folks appreciate you, it is more satisfying. Who wants to go to work and be miserable all freakin day?
When she asks you a question just tell her "I don't want to talk about it". To every thing personal.
2007-01-21 10:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe just start giving her answers like "oh, not much", "it wasn't important" or "I don't really feel like getting into it" and get back to whatever you were doing. When you're alone in the car, just answer her questions with questions back. Example, if she said "What are your plans for the weekend?" say "Not much, what are you doing?" It will not be exposing all your business and she'll be talking so it won't be too boring. Some people just like to get involved with other people's lives. It's too bad you can't avoid her more easily. I hope this helps. :)
2007-01-21 10:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just take some time out and sit down and tell her nicely that you are sorry but whilst you appreciate that she is trying to be friendly, you're just not one of those people who are comfortable sharing their personal life with others, but that you're more than happy to discuss professional issues during work time.
What can she do?
2007-01-21 10:42:09 · answer #6 · answered by trebs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
learn to redirect the conversations....have a list of topics in your mind that you can ask HER about. Not necessarily personal, but if you get her talking, then that will save you from revealing your personal life. Also, get some books on tape or DVD....and suggest that you listen to them instead of talking....
2007-01-21 10:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
either shes just reaching out for a friend or really nosy. the only people i had a problem with at work were the jerks that try to get you fired, or spread stupid rumors. just be mature about it give her a chance she doesnt sound that bad. i know ive dealt with way worse. if she asks you a question you dont want to answer lie to her make an answer up. i dont know what makes you not like her. im sorry but this makes you seem kinda snotty.
2007-01-21 10:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyessly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ur having a boundary issue with her... You need to set boundaries with her and she should respect them....its kinda rude for her to listen in on ur phone conversations so you could tell her that you dont appreciate her doing that.....tell her that you prefer keeping your realtionship on a professional/work level and do not want to talk about your personal life with her.....hope this helps----you may also consider reading a book on Boundaries...
2007-01-21 10:42:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you should buy a book where the title should say "own your own bussiness" give her as a present and never talk about it again.
2007-01-21 10:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by dancingwiththestars 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋