Should we start TTC, given our situation?

Question

Now before you are quick to judge, please listen to my story FIRST. My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years. We are extremely commited to eachother, and plan on getting married in 2 years. We have had many pregnancy "scares", and have actually grown quite fond of the idea of having a child. However, I am 16 and he is 17. WAIT, let me finish. Both of us have already graduated from highschool and have very stable, well-paying jobs. We realize this is a serious commitment and a child is a human being, not a pet. We feel we are ready for this right now, and where we live (Hawai'i) it is socially acceptable to have children at a young age. I know this is a personal choice, but I want POSITIVE feedback from other people who do not know me, but have an open mind and open ears and are willing to give me their honest, KIND opinion. Thank you.

Answer 1

I have no doubt that this would be a very loved child. Being married myself and having 2 kids of my own, be sure that this person, is someone, that would hold your hair back when the morning sickness comes? Is he someone that doesn't mind the excess bodily gas you have during pregnancy? Will he get up during the night when the baby is colicky and/or sick? Will he be
there for you when you've got the baby blues, to say everything is going to be ok? IF you can answer yes,to these questions, you should be quite happy for years to come. Also, a little marriage advice. The golden rule-NEVER, NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY!!

Answer 2

Wait till you are married. If you are so ready now, then marry now and plan a family afterwards. The best situation for the child would be a stable home with 2 parents. So get the married part done before planning the next step. Talk about you staying home to raise the child. Talk about how you both think the child should be raised, disciplined, religion. Do you have room at your house for a nursery? If you work, how much is childcare and can you afford it? Are you ready to be responsible for another person for 18 years? Talk about how many kids ya'll would like to have and what you want to do once you've reached that number (birth control, tubal, vasectomy, etc). Do you both have good insurance for the pregnancy, delivery, and healthcare for ya'll as a family?

I started dating my husband at 16. At 17 we were expecting a child. At 18 we married right before her birth. I know young love can be true love, but I still think it needs to be done responsibly. Get married before trying for a baby. We've been together 11 years now. I still wish we had married before the pregnancy (unplanned).

Answer 3

A teenage commitment is not the same as an adult commitment. Well paying jobs at 16 and 17? What do you consider well paying? The cost of raising a child is roughly $20,000 the first year. Although you sound mature for your age, you will do alot of changing the next few years and if you were to have a child now, you will miss out on so much.

Answer 4

I know how hard it is to focus on something else when what you really want is a baby, but you need to focus on being healthy and working at changing your lifestyle. It's about feeling good that you need to focus on. Try The Zone diet, there are books and online info. on it. It's a diet that wants you to eat small amounts every 4-6 hrs. and balancing your insulin etc. So far, it's worked really well for my husband and I. His cholesterol is high so by eating eggwhites for breakfast and having blueberry shakes instead of peanut butter and toast etc. his cholesterol has went down. We work out together every day. Not very long just for 1/2 hr. a day doing different things. Take Geritol multivitamins (both of you) and start being happy, just being with each other and doing things together. When the timing is right, thats when it's going to happen. Hope I helped a little. Make it a new years resolution.

Answer 5

I am deffinately not one to judge. BUT, if I were you I would wait. Children are a long term commitment. I had my first at 22 and wish I would have waited. I never got to go out and have a wild time and experience being young. I married my high school sweetheart at 21. We are now divorced and remarried. I am 28 and have 2 children. I woulndt give them up for the world but wish that I would have been able to "experience" my 20's before having a family.

Answer 6

before anyone starts TTC you should go over your parenting ideals, and how you feel your child should be raised, i.e. religion, spankings, anything else that you feel strongly about. So many couples don't discuss these things beforehand and it becomes a battle, instead of whereas before, you have time to come to a compromise on issues you argue on. Only you know when your truely ready to have a child. You might also want to remembr to be young too. You don't want to start regretting you had a child young, when you hit that party age (18-24ish). I'm 22, and hubby and I have been TTC for a year and half. Good luck in your decision.

Answer 7

You are both young, there is no reason to rush things. Just wait the two years until you are married, get adjusted to the married life you have and then go for it! If you were older, and two years was going to impact your ability to conceive that would be one thing, but you're not... You have time... cherish your time together, be excited about the wedding and have a chance to be newlyweds without the pressures of a child! Good luck! Congratulations!

Answer 8

No judgement here!!! Please help? What is TTC?
For anyone who might judge you I remember in days gone by that 13 year old girls married at one time and that happened for thousands of years. Suddenly, in a span of only a couple hundred years we judge if a girl get's married at 20. Long time since I was that age and man do I still get judged for having married at 21. Did not have a child until mid 30's. You sound very level headed.

Answer 9

Wait-Wait-Wait It sounds like you are both intelligent people but you need to have common sense here. You are still kids yourselves sorry but 16 ane 17 is not mature enough to be parents. Go to college, continue to date wait at least until you are 21 to get married and then decide to have kids. Trust me it changes your whole life and although it may seem romantic you need to be realistic it is hard work and it is not about the two of you anymore in fact there will be no time for the two of you. Take my advice and if you don't you will wish that you did!

Answer 10

NO judgement from me. I was 17 when my husband and I got married. I got pregnant at 18 and had my daughter at 19. I wouldn't change anything about it. I was a senior in high school when I got married (actually the summer between my junior and senior year.) My husband was 19 and he had a job that paid VERY well. (road construction) Anyhoo, I graduated at the top of my class and enjoyed every minute of it. You do what it is in your heart to do. God Bless you and Good Luck with everything!