Philosophy on kind, reserved people?

Question

If someone's kindness truly shows and you know they care, but you suspect shyness or reserve (meaning they don't socialize much and just go about the world quietly), what are your thoughts on the person?

Answer 1

Many people such as myself are just shy and always have been. I think a lot of people who are quiet and reserved just don't want a whole lot of drama in their lives, and for me that means socializing little. I think that, once opened up to someone they can trust, a shy person would most likely surprise others as to what they have to say about life and their place in it, among other things.

Answer 2

I think that once the world looked on these people with respect, tooting your own horn was thought to be ill mannered. Recently my daughter, in one of the 'caring' professions was passed over for promotion for the sixth time in seven years, her work is good, she is bright, scored at the top of the tests for promotion, and yet lost out...this time to a woman only there for two years. She went to her supervisors supervisor to find out why. She was told it was because she never made a fuss over what she had done so no one knew or appreciated how much she put in.
This may be more practical than philosophical, but it seems now that modesty and reserve are so far out of favor, that not recognizing that times and values have changed can actually give the perception of inactivity and uncaring.
My thoughts on the loud self-promoting person are that he is unpleasant. But it seems that the quiet person is just overlooked, so I would have to wonder why one would be happy to be overlooked, and then wonder what other flaws would be found, like insecurity, or lack of ambition, so a downward spiral would begin in my estimation of his temperament.
My daughter, by the way, has simply resolved to start "tooting", since she is neither insecure nor suffers from a lack of ambition.

Answer 3

They have discovered that the ratrace uses real rats, and that confronting people brings that out. Since strangers might be anything good or bad, they may feel is better to sit back and watch till they prove themselves one or the other.

Since you specified kind, and caring, the chances are that such a person has been taken advantage of in the past, as has anyone who tries to do the right thing.

For myself I have found that it is better too allow people to take small advantages, as a way of proving themselves. Very few people are so Machiavellian as to be very careful to repay kindnesses so they can go for the big score. Also the small advantage is still helping people.

Mark Twain had a story about a cat that jumped up on a hot stove. It never jumped up on a hot stove again, but it never jumped up on a cold one either. Trusting people can be like that..

Answer 4

I think that they are wise, and like to observe things in order to form their own ideas.

The smartest (in terms of wisdom) people I know, are the shy ones, who often ask the questions that have the loudest response.

Answer 5

maybe they dont want to be bothered about anything and are tired of rush and stressfull situations.they take it easy and are probably wary of being hurt by others emotionally,so they try to be nice and pleasant to everybody.but i also think that there is a naughty guy/gal waiting to get out if you become close to them.they just dont want to disclose any personal matters to anybody,probably dont trust others too much.

Answer 6

My answer is in your question. However, I am sensing that you wish to make additional contact with this person.

If this is accurate, then I would advise you to approach them very gently, so as not to disturb the delicate balance of your relationship. Perhaps they wish to continue going about life in this manner, so I suppose one must respect their wishes.

Answer 7

In the case you sight, poor management is to blame. In a large, impersonal organization, good workers triumph.