Can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 or more that includes these tv/movie quotes?

Question

1. Nice place... I love a living room you can land a plane in.
2. I'll alert the media.
3. The fog was as thick as a linebacker's neck and the moon wasn't saying much either. Just watchin'.
4. Ah, the lesser known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.
5. I'm good at crossword puzzles, I'm not so good at people puzzles.
6. It's a very tiny country... Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war.

Answer 1

You have got to accept that I am sincere about Americans. As a nation, I think they are fantastic. After all, we over here in Europe had over a thousand years headstart on them. Now comes the big 'however'. Why oh why, individually, do they boast so much about how superior they are in everything. When an American was looking at the Lakes of Killarney and boasted about the size of the lakes in the US, I dare not tell you what Patsy, the Jaunting Car driver told him.

Anyway, I had met Dean whilst he was over here on the Grand Tour and as we had a lot in common, the fact that we both loved golf and that was where I met him, I invited him to our humble home for tea. He had been truly great company for the five hours at the Club and I had no reason to suspect that he would not continue to be the same.

We arrived at my home, be it ever so humble, and I invited him in. He stood and looked around then started. 'Nice place, but I love a living room you can land a plane in. You couldn't swing a cat in here Paddy' he added. 'We don't have a cat, nor a dog, just me and the wife and in any event, we are not swingers'. I honestly think that the innuendo flew straight over his head.

'You know Paddy' he continued as he lay back in MY favourite armchair 'when I saw the golf course last night, I never thought I would get a game today'. 'And why was that, Dean' I asked as I made my way toward the kitchen to put on the kettle. As quick as a flash, he was up after me. 'Well' he drew out the word and made it sound like 'Wall', 'the fog was as thick as a linebacker's neck and the moon wasn't saying much either. Just watchin'. 'What on earth is a linebacker' I asked in all honestly. 'Why, Paddy' he looked at me in amazement 'Sure you must know about the recent biggest game of the year. The Army and Navy'. He stopped and looked at me. I was just getting a little bit tired as I usually nap after a game of golf and I was beginning to realise that I would have great difficulty in getting rid of our Dave.

'Sure I have' I answered 'It's a big shop like Harrods up Victoria Street. Is that the one you mean'. I knew darn well it wasn't of course but as a result of what I said, he honestly could not speak. 'Tell me I am dreaming Paddy' he eventually spoke 'it's all a dream'. 'Ah' I felt I had him by the short and curlys 'the lesser known 'I don't have a Dream speech, I'll alert the media' I stated in my best official voice.

As I made the tea, I did not offer him coffee as I was certain beyond any doubt that he would have criticised the Instant brand that I had. I had decided that enough was enough. 'And what do you think of England Dean' I asked, giving him the opportunity to put things right. 'It's a very tiny country.....Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war'. Geeze, he's still at it. 'The Germans thought so too' I poked in a remark I had ready when I asked the original question.

'You know something Paddy' he was now getting serious as he winced as he tasted the tea. 'I don't think I will ever understand you Limeys, you are a strange race'. 'That's because Dean the majority of us in this country are not bloody English' I was a bit annoyed. He just sat there staring at me in disbelief. 'But you speak English' he insisted. 'So do you for God's sake and although you have messed up a lot of the words, it is still basically English, and you are not English are you'.

I had him. He now had his hands to his head and muttered 'I'm good at crossword puzzles, I'm not so good at people puzzles'. He was so mixed up now that I began to have pity on him. 'Have your tea and biscuits Dean' I insisted 'and relax. It's what's known in London as a 'wind-up'. Relax'.

'You know Paddy' he slowly restarted the conversation 'all day on the golf course, I had no problem understanding everything you said, but right now, I'm not so sure. Let me put it this way, your wind-up is truly a success'. I just laughed.

'You see Dean' I spoke quietly and with some respect 'I am Irish, born and bred and truly proud to be so. You cannot insult an Irishman any worse than by calling him English. It is the cardinal sin of all time' I slowed down to light my pipe. 'It is as if I told you, not even asked in the first place, but told you that you were Canadian, or Mexican. How would you feel?'

'Point taken Paddy' there was genuine remorse in his voice, 'Sorry'. 'And one final thing Dean, you said on the way here that you were next on your way to Ireland' I whispered 'when you get there, be sure to tell them that Rhode Island could beat the crap out of them in a war. I can tell you that you will leave with a high squeeky voice and no dangley bits in your underwear'. He looked at me and nervously laughed.

You see, we Irish may be thick, but we're not stupid. Or is it the other way round, I can never quite remember..............

Answer 2

Beyonce on losing out to Jennifer Hudson in the Globes:

Beyonce: So, congrats to you Jennifer. Well, who would have thought you'll get the prize? *sniff*
Jennifer: Why, thank you. You are spectacular too, I love working with you on the movie.
B: Humph. I was pretty damn good wasn't I? Much better than some singer picked out of a reality TV by Paula Abdul... but then again, it has always been a dream for me to work on an award-winning movie, even if the winner isn't me. Winning is not my dream anyway. Singing is.
J: Ah, the lesser known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech.
B: What, you little b****. How dare you be snarky with me?
J: Don't touch me, lady, or I'll alert the media!
B: You know what, I'm good at crossword puzzles, I'm not so good at people puzzles. So don't play around with me!
J: I never thought you were very bright in the first place anyway. Oh look,. there's my ride. (A huge sleek black limo slides into the driveway) I'll see you at the after-party...or not! I'm not sure if non-winners are invited. Ciao!

Answer 3

As i grow to be walking down the line, I observed a collection of females status contained in the park by way of my abode. They appeared to be rallying or something so I went over to work out what grow to be happening. “On behalf of all of the useful females in united states of america of america, might I in basic terms say... whew!” reported a noisy boisterous woman contained in the front of the gang. “i think of that it is in basic terms too annoying, i ought to consume. Does everybody have Cottage Cheese?” reported a meek woman contained in the lower back. “No, cottage cheese solves no longer something. Chocolate can do all of it.” reported the loud woman lower back. The loud woman whose call grow to be, Joanna, jumped up on a tree stump and started to whistle along with her palms to get the communities interest. “while i grow to be married, my husband left me for a guy. i began out to doubt myself considering you comprehend, no longer something says "i such as you" like a pathetic loss of dedication. in spite of the undeniable fact that it prove that he grow to be gayer than C-3PO.” “C-3PO wasn't gay, he grow to be British!” yelled a touch large woman from the lower back of the gang. “thank you for that bulletin from the branch of the obtrusive. It grow to be purely a word. And by way of the way once you're right here... who's working Hell?” She laughed. “it is in basic terms too plenty, i will’t take it anymore.” I walked faraway from the gang and headed lower back to my abode. I don’t comprehend what they have been doing or what they have been asserting yet, thank god I’m no longer a woman. i comprehend it is not a paragraph, in spite of the undeniable fact that it grow to be relaxing to jot down!

Answer 4

yes i could

Answer 5

i cant ,never,write a paragraph its 2 hard.......