My husband and I seperated in November after nearly 7 years of marriage. The moment I moved into my own home, I felt calmer and more at peace with myself than I have in years. We always said that we would seperate and then decide if we wanted to work further on the marriage.
We went on a "date" this week and it was okay, but I didn't feel a pull towards him. I really just wanted to be home alone.
Has anyone ever seperated and then reunited? How do you know that is the correct course of action? I'm afraid that I'm just doing it because he wants it and/or its easier than divorce.
Help!
2007-01-21 00:49:41 · 10 answers · asked by LovingMichael 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to take it one day at a time.Don't jump back into were you left off.I did that and it did not work at all.Take it slow and easy stay in your own place and be friends and date for awhile.Go to couples counseling together it is another big step.And you may not have feelings for each other and dating will help see that.Its a long hard road but it will be even harder if you move in together again and then realize you are not in Love.Follow what is best for you and what is in your heart and time will tell.Good Luck!
2007-01-21 00:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by sparky75us 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a marriage of nearly 7 years is quite a significant one by any measure. Perhaps, what you need at this moment is a greater amount of time to be with yourself, even more, probably, you're just trying to get away from some monotonous routine or other complex matters. whatever the reasons are, you are feeling more at peace with yourself when you've moved into your own home, that's should be counted heavily in making any further decisions and you should ask yourself why is that the case.
In my opinion, you really should ask yourself what do you want to achieve in life being with this person. i've never been married, but if i do find the right one, I would definitely ask myself, what can I fulfill being in a marriage with my partner? and I'm not talking about financial stuff here...:).
I think you should also ask your husband what is he looking for in a marriage with you.
By doing those of the above, you can cross check what's in his brain and what's in yours and hopefully you're able to come to the right decision.
cheers
2007-01-21 09:21:32 · answer #2 · answered by Spirit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I began to answer this I took a look at your previous questions. From here it seems you have not been married for some time. Aren't you the one who has gone looking for past loves and got mixed up with an old flame who was also married at the time.
From here it seems that you deserve to be at home by yourself and very lonely.
Of course you don't feel the same "pull". You have been running away for a long time now.
You have no clue how to be married. In the long run he will most likely be better off without you he just does not realize it right now.
Do us all a favor, let him raise the child though. We do not need another girl being raised by a women who's mind wanders like yours does.
Someone needs to teach your daughter the concepts of love and commitment. You really do not understand those ideas.
2007-01-21 09:20:54 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have already answered your own question.You said that you are happier on your own so why on earth would you want to get back together with him.You said that when you went on your date you did'nt really want to be with him you wanted to be at home aolne.You know what is best for you.If you try to live your life trying to please other people all the time you will only make yourself miserable.Would just staying married be easier on him NO it would be unfair to him because you are obviously not in love with him anymore.Why torture him by being fake with him.It sound's like divorce is the right thing for you to do.That does not mean that it has to be hateful and ugly you can still be on good terms and possibly even remain friends to some degree.If you stay married you are clearly cheating eachother out of happiness.Good luck to you.
2007-01-21 09:21:54 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex should be kept out of it during this period of time of separation. It clutter's the thought process. I've experienced something similar. Sex between my wife and i was fantastic, but ya know, it clouded things. So we stayed separated and didn't have sex with each other when we'd get together. We finally both realized we weren't good for eachother so we divorced and went our separate ways.
I remarried a couple years later am still married to my new wife, but my ex has been married 9 times in 20 years.
2007-01-21 09:15:52 · answer #5 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel better when you're not around him, you probably shouldn't reunite.
It's still okay to be on friendly terms....but do not lead him to think you will reunite if you have no intention.
2007-01-21 08:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by T Time 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
GIVE IT MORE TIME IN SEPERATION. IF YOU ARE HAPPY BEING W/O HIM, DIVORCE HIM. YOU NEVER WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE IF NEITHER ARE HAPPY
2007-01-21 09:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by kimandkaitlyn2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him..
Move on..
Find a more mature, caring & loving man...
2007-01-21 09:11:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You answered your own question in your first paragraph, sweetie.
2007-01-21 08:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by rosey 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go swimming in fire
2007-01-21 09:05:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋