My husband cheated on me for over a year and I have a feeling the other woman is still in his life. He comes over often and things are tense between us. I tell him to leave and he does, then he's back the next day wanting to spend the night with me. He has an apartment so when things are tense between us, he can go back there. He seems to be trying, but he still acts suspicious at times. I don't know how to get him or myself to let go.
2007-01-20 23:42:51 · 9 answers · asked by blue eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i myself am a man. i have to say i am married now but during my dating years i have been in some pretty messed up relationships. but the important thing i got out of dating is if a person cheats once the urge will always be there. he won't want to but the thing between the legs along with the high he gets from doing it will be enough for him to do it again. its just a matter of if you will find out. the best thing for you is obviously let go. letting go is probably one of the toughest things you've done. especially since you are married and probably been together for a while. but in this kind of situation god will forgive you for ending your marriage after all he was the one unfaithful. what you want to do is keep yourself busy as possible for the next few months. staying busy and out and about does two things one keeps your mind occupied so you won't have doubts and two increases the chances of finding someone else to date. there are faithful and loyal men out there i'm proud to say i'm married and am faithful. there are a lot of cheating men out there. but there are also men that are faithful like myself. get a couple of friends together and have a good time. after all you only live once. end this as quickly as possible. and leave the rest to god. he'll take care of you promise.
2007-01-20 23:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by davimich1975 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but his actions speak volumes.Chances are if you feel the other woman is in his life, then she probably still is involved. He's flipping back and forth because you are allowing it. And right now from what you wrote, he's got it made, possibly two women to be involved with, but not really responsible for either since you said he has his own apartment. For him, it must be like dating two women, all the fun but not the responsibility.No one said it wouldn't hurt, but pull up your socks and self-respect and move along. There really will be someone out there that will care for you and not hurt you. Don't worry about how to get him to let go, he's a big boy, let him deal with it....You go girl....!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-21 09:01:20 · answer #2 · answered by jan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can know the answer, not even you. That's why cheating IS such a big deal. I truly believe that it would be easier to accept that your spouse had seriously considered murdering you. We can understand that, more than why a spouse cheats. I must say that since it's been a year, and you still aren't ready to have him return to the marital home, that it's probable that you AREN'T ever going get past this. It's likely you need to divorce, and live separate lives. But, of course, that's a decision only you can make. Good luck.
2007-01-21 08:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all do not take it personal. if he has cheated then he will again. most times when us men cheat it is because we are insecure. the best way i can tell you is to leave each other alone no matter how bad it hurts and stay around friends that love you and will help keep your mind off of the situation between you and him. PRAY FOR GUIDANCE that is the most important.
2007-01-21 08:08:12 · answer #4 · answered by willy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u want to let go, your going to have to distance yourself from him. if u want it to work than find out where his heart is at, if it's with u he may come home, if not he just wants to eat his cake and have it too. don't sleep with him anymore, make him decide. maybe it won't turn out like u want it to, but if the other woman is still there, than u don't have a marriage anyway. if your intuition tells u she is still present than she most likely is.he can't make up his mind, u or her, and doesn't want to burn his bridges with u until he is sure. but if u don't trust him what good is the relationship?
2007-01-21 08:42:43 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious about letting go then you dont need to see him on a daily basis I dont think anyone can let go like that I mean you are trying to let go of something that you are looking at on a daily basis,not a good idea but maybe you arent wanting to let go i mean maybe you are wanting him back it sounds like it you need to make a decision about what you want and if you want to let go than stop seeing him and that will be letting go!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-21 07:52:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the trust is gone so goes he relationship. Do not torture yourself or him if you can not get by the infidelity. You did nothing wrong. Don't hold on just because you want to make it right.
2007-01-21 07:49:26 · answer #7 · answered by Wat Da Hell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refuse to be his booty call and stop letting him put tension in your life. Letting go can be easy but only if you allow it to be.
2007-01-21 08:02:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a five letter word that is the balance beam to any successful relationship, when its gone it's gone. Time to move on...
2007-01-21 08:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by gamerunner2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋