why do some parents disown their son or daughter when they find out that their child is gay?

Answer 1

Your question is a very good one. I do hope you are not going through this right now though.
I came out as a Lesbian in 1994... as a result, I was kicked to the crub by my Mother, Father, 2 Brothers, 3 Sisters, my Grandparents, and worse than any of that was the fact that I lost my children. My ex-husband and my mother went to work on getting my children from me, it was awful. My mother became convinced I was going to molest them. The whole thing caused me to start drinking and using drugs. I lost several years of my life drowning the pain I could not handle.
I finally was able to dig myself out of my miserable hole in the ground, but it took about 4 years.
My parents both passed away young, and my oldest daughter came back to me when she was 18, my youngest sister is ok with everything now as well, but everyone else is still gone, and quite frankley, I do not want them back.
Why do people do this? because they are afraid of that which they do not understand. Most people do not have a clue as to how to love someone unconditionally, it's beyond them. Yet it is what we are all supposed to do.
I believe in the book of John (Bible) it's says.
"As I have loved you, love one another"

Answer 2

Complicated question. It might be required of their culture or religion. It might be a response due to bad parenting. It might be a symptom of a dysfunctional family. It might be selfishness and intolerance, which is a character flaw.

The older I get the more I don't understand why people reproduce. I think people want to have "babies" and never stop to think that babies last about 60 seconds and then spend the rest of their lives becoming adult and trying to separate themselves from their parents. When something like homosexuality comes into the picture, those people who are living in Babies R Us fantasy land cannot cope. These are the same ones who throw out their 16yr old daughters when they get pregnant but took no responsibility for their sexual education.

People seem to think you can just toss kids away when you don't like them any more. Parenting is hard work, but the end result isn't someone who is a clone of you, it should be an independent person who functions well in society. What possible difference does it make what sexuality that person is?

Answer 3

I try to understand that myself.My mother disowned me when I was 9 and only in the last year have I found out that part of the reason, if not most of the reason why, was because I was developing into a gay man and she knew it early on.She has spread horrible lies to my brother and sister about me and so I can only conclude that she believes everything she says.And that must mean that her church has told her these things are what gay people do and are.

I also think my mother has some other emotional problems and only recently I have found my sister and begun discussing our mother with my sister.While I was the only one to be disowned, my sister tells me that she and my brother still had a hard childhood where my mother treated her "date" life far more important then her children.She had divorced my father and was always out dating from what I was told.

But I never will know the truth of why she disowned me since she continues to want nothing to do with me over 15 years later.

Answer 4

Leigh

It's a good question, not sure I know the answer though. My guess is that it's a combination of guilt (Is it my fault they are gay? is it something I've done?) and deep hurt and regret that they will not become proud and loving grandparents, which, let's face it, most parents aspire to be.
There is a useful national organisation called Parents Friend, with a group in Leeds also. These groups help parents with gay offspring as well as the gay offspring themselves. Further info can be obtained from Gay Switchboard in London.

Best wishes, J

Answer 5

Parents are not perfect (we all remember the saying that children don't come with owner's manuals). Parents that disown their children are raised by their parents this way. It is very sad when you lose someone that you have lived with for such a long time, and you would hope that the bond is much stronger and that your family will love you for who you are.

To me, I feel that parents who are not understanding or accepting are as flawed as people who are not accepting. It is a flaw and sadly it is based on how they were raised. There is really no need to disown a son, daughter, or any other person in your life.

Answer 6

I don't have kids - still kind of young for that - but no, I wouldn't disown my kid. I can imagine the anxiety my child would have gone through, summoning up the courage to tell me, and to throw him or her away? That's not nice. I probably wouldn't react very much if my child told me he or she was gay. I wouldn't blow up or anything. I'd just accept it. He can't keep it a secret forever, no, but I think he should wait. He should wait until he is able to support himself financially, in case his parents don't take it well and do "disown" him or kick him out. Hope this helps. =]

Answer 7

Sadly, some actually do that. However, fortunately, most of them change their mind later.

Isn't a easy situation for neither, parents and son/daughter.

My guess is, that many people still believe that homosexuality is a chosen lifestyle, and it takes some time, often help from counseling, for parents to be able to understand and accept this 'diversity'.

This always means the teenager might need an adult to confide in, since their parents 'over-react' and that's where a wise doctor, teacher, or therapist might lend a helping hand.

Hope this helps.

Answer 8

Ever heard of bad parenting? Some people should not be parents. Period.

Answer 9

normal parents always like their children,for whatever they are.but due to pressure from society.

Answer 10

because they are arshole that think the world revolves around sexuality?