Is this a Psychological tool people use ?

Question

I've noticed more and more these days the when you speak to people in management, "counsillors" or even people who call me up from businesses, there is often big silent periods after I have answered a question or query, as if the person is waiting for more information. I find this very rude and quickly terminate the discussion. Is this some technique they are taught ? and if so what is the best way deal with or counter it.

Thanks in advance for your replies

Andy

Answer 1

It is indeed a psychology tool called The Pregnant Pause Technique. I used to use it when interviewing people.

This is the theory behind it:

Humans are extremely uncomfortable with long silences when they're communicating with someone unfamiliar. When you're asked to explain something or answer a question, you expect to receive feedback when you've finished talking.

When the person you’re talking to just stares & their non-verbal feedback is withheld (i.e. no nodding or smiling) and then stays totally silent when you've finished talking, it’s supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. You would automatically assume that you've failed to explain yourself properly. You'll almost certainly start to fill the silence and explain your point again, but in more detail.

The theory is that the silence will make you feel on edge. This could prevent clarity of thought and your compulsion to fill the silence could force you into giving away too much information.

The other person will use this to control the situation & can jump on any information than you unintentionally gave

Answer 2

Andy

While I appreciate that so-called pregnant pauses in conversation can be disconcerting, there are two good reasons why this strategy is adopted. Firstly, it ensures that the person answering the question or query is given enough time to expand or revise their answer if they want to. Secondly, the delay is meant to reassure that person that their answer is being given due consideration, whereas an immediate response is unlikely to give that impression. It also allows the respondent thinking time to formulate a constructive, thoughtful and considered response to the information that has just been given them. Few people, barristers aside, are able to think on their feet and respond almost instantaneously. Besides, normal conversation should not have the appearance of cross examination, otherwise that, too, is intimidating and not conducive to a meaningful two-way exchange.

Best wishes, J

Answer 3

As a matter of fact, yes. It's part of the cognitive communication technique. It's to ensure you've been given enough time to say what you want to say so you don't feel rushed. Unfortunately most people are crap at it and just create an awkward silence which makes other people feel stupid.!

Answer 4

Andy. perhaps it shows they are thinking about your answer, they need time to reflect and consider it, rather than to jump in with another question or thier own thoughts. Dont be rushed into filling the silence.
What counts in communication is 20% verbal and 80 % non-verbal, so what does their expression or body posture say is actually more important

Peter

Answer 5

Very easy to counter by not adding additional information and waiting for them to speak. It makes their pauses seem a little ridiculous. Its all about control of the conversation and who is mentally in command

Answer 6

I have noticed this as well, I think that it is a method of gathering information and implies that you have not satisfied thier query, generally the more people talk the more oppertunities for rebutal they offer

Answer 7

Perhaps you do not explain yourself fully. Or maybe the person is taking in what you are saying. It sounds like you feel uncomfortable with silence.

Answer 8

You are supposed to pause, but not for that long though.
I pause for 3 seconds or so to gather thoughts, don't you?

Answer 9

Intimidation or dumb ignorance, don't stand for it, just say ''Well, if you have nothing else to say, I must get back to my work.''

Answer 10

You could ask "Does that answer your question?"

Try not to judge them.