"i lose myself"
by my shadow i lose myself
and what i once was
i am no longer
and i almost can’t remember
what i was once upon a september
my voice sounds strange to me
my thoughts - no longer what they used to be
by my past self
i am a total stranger
i am different now
i have forgotten any past piece of every broken vow
who am i?
who are these strangers around me?
once i knew, now i have absolutely no clue
were there only lies, was there anything true?
i feel as if waking up from a dream
reality threatens me and in its face i scream
and i veil myself
or i put on another mask
and i disappear gently in the falling dusk
to recreate my past self
is now impossible
all those sensations
are now dust spreading in the windy storm
2007-01-20 22:16:33 · 16 answers · asked by Analyst 7 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I fell asleep half way through, but the 1st half was awesome.
2007-01-20 22:18:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I like it. It is a bit sad but that's what poems often are about, sadness. Yours seems to be about loneliness, isolation, numbness to the outside world, self-identity loss. I hope you are ok.
Keep writing poems as I think you have a talent for communicating through poetry things that are hard to describe.
2007-01-21 06:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's kind of deja vu, you know. It's too ordinary. But maybe my standards are too high, because I'm a huge Poetry lover and I read a lot.
2007-01-21 14:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought it was good! This part seemed too long though:
i am different now
i have forgotten any past piece of every broken vow
2007-01-21 08:30:45 · answer #4 · answered by Sara 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know I like it very much, and I'm sure you can write even more after a little practice. Contact me if you need any help, I'm always ready to answer. Bye sister or brother (it's because I'm not sure about your gender
2007-01-21 06:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by milky 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not a totally sucky poem. I used to feel and write poetry. I'm a bitter shrew these days so.... Yeh..keep writing.
2007-01-21 06:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by daisyjzmum 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its beautifull and thought provoking and sad, i totally got it, thank you for sharing im going to print it out!!!
2007-01-21 06:22:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
its sad & not very captivating. but if u r as young as this poem makes u luk ,,,,,,, keep up the effort
2007-01-21 06:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know technicals about poems, but urs is good to read, flowing
2007-01-21 06:22:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really like it.... however i hope u r not really so lost... but it describes exactly how the person who wrote it feel ..
2007-01-21 07:27:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋