Very shortly i am a businesswomen and my hubby is a prominnet person in the market too, for the ast 2 years i have involved myself with my ex staff hubby which we were actually family close friends. it has continued for the past 2 years the other wife know abt it and had quarrelled with me many times to stop it, i have cheated on her many times and deep down i feel bad abt it. i have even confessed this to the church father and i feel i have special feeling for this man and i know i cant's continue as my hubby as came to know abt it. now we are having prob as my hubby used vulgarity and sometimes abuses me. but my hubby wants me its just that he could not take how could this man do this to him as we were close family friends. now i do not wish to continue with my hubby and wants to divouce him but not in the intention to be with my friends hubby, but everyone are saying i am leaving my hubby to be with that man, pls advise as i am confusd.
2007-01-20 22:07:20 · 14 answers · asked by susan r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So, what do you want? Do you want other people to believe that aren't a cheater? Do you want "people" to understand that you want to divorce hubby, but that your married cheater buddy is great for an "on the side" friend, but not as a full time partner? You apparently have no morals, and somehow hope that "people" will somehow understand that you screwing up two marriages is OK, because you have "special" feelings for this prince you are sleeping with. Lady, it isn't gonna happen that way. People who know you are cheating, will believe you divorce because of your cheating. Mainly, because they know that cheating IS what ends many marriages. By the way, you say that deep down, you feel bad about cheating. BULL POOP. IF you felt bad, you would stop. You say you feel bad, but by your actions you prove that you WANT to cheat. Actions speak more loudly than empty words.
2007-01-21 01:08:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What could you possibly be confused about? You knew it was wrong when you started this affair. You have been doing it for 2 years. There were 2 families involved and it didn't stop you. When a person is married and they have an affair, it is for selfish reasons. No matter what the reason is, you should have handled it in a different way from the beginning and you wouldn't be in the predicament. If it happened one time, that may be forgiven but for it to be continuing for 2 years, noone feels sorry for you because you did it to yourself and others all for your own satisfaction. Let this be a lesson to you. How would you like it to be done to you. YOU WOULDN'T and it doesn't take a genius to figure this out. You have a mouth and you could of said no but you didn't. You shouldn't be confused any longer!
2007-01-20 22:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by LM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me you have been unhappy in the marriage for awhile. The affairs are secondary to that original or initial feeling of unhappiness in your current marriage. Just because your husband wants you because of the embarrassment he will feel if you divorce is simply not enough. Even if he is unhappy and humiliated on some level by your affair, it is not a reason to abuse you. People have affairs because they are not receiving the respect, affection and attention by their partner. That is why you cheated. Long before there is an affair there is a breakdown on a fundamental level within the marriage...look you have been unhappy, a long, long time. It will take great courage to move on with your life BUT if you do, perhaps you can free yourself to get to know YOU and then, down the road perhaps a partner you can share with taking the lessons you have learned with you. Sometimes you must move on and yes, it is quite painful, but you will free your heart and truly be happy one day...good luck.
2007-01-20 22:31:28 · answer #3 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I believe you have an answer yourself but it is the words of others that made you confused. If you really don't wish to carry on the life with your hubby, then it is better to sort things out. There is no point in dragging such matters as it could end up both of you have more agony. I believe you are strong enough to brave through this diffcult times.
2007-01-20 22:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have bought all this trouble on yourself.You are not confused,you are in trouble and you are looking for an easy way out.You will suffer the consequences of your decisions as every one does.you should have left your hubby long before you cheated and how dare you interfere in another woman's marriage.Get a divorce and move on and let all the damage you helped create work it self out.What you should remember is that what goes around comes back around so expect a spiritual payback when you least expect it or when you are in love and least want it,it will come back to haunt you.
2007-01-20 23:22:11 · answer #5 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I comprehend the soreness you're dealing with. when I found out that my dad grow to be having an affair I cried like a baby. i grow to be married whilst he informed me. It nonetheless injury. Your dad is embarrassed that each and one and all of you found out. He would not desire to respond to a ton of questions so he has positioned of his wall of protection. supply your dad some area. that's extremely between your mom and dad so merely permit your mom cope with it. there's no such element as generic after an affair. the two your mom and dad will artwork by this and stay jointly or they are going to end the marriage. attempt and not take aspects in the event that they do chop up.
2016-11-25 23:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your hubby that divorce. He deserves to have a faithtful wife.
2007-01-20 23:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be disciplined. Are you looking for a sex friend or a true life partner? You need to be considerate or matured when you go into serious relationship. You don't mention in detail.
2007-01-20 22:24:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That wasn't short my friend. At this point what does it matter what anyone thinks of you. Could it get any worse? I doubt it. So, follow your heart, it is the one in your chest and brain, not your pants. Follow your heart and it will lead you to peace.
2007-01-20 22:12:41 · answer #9 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey stupid there is no way out. You dug yourself a nice deep hole. Now it is time to pay the piper you whore.
2007-01-20 22:14:59 · answer #10 · answered by bill a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋