You get a husband.
After, of course, getting to know him, spending several years courting and dating, and planning, and getting financially stable.
If your current boyfriend isn't husband material, time to rethink the relationship.
And, you need to wait til both parents are ready ... or you will bring a needy child into an already struggling relationship, and you don't need or want that.
2007-01-20 21:31:38
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answer #1
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answered by Pichi 7
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While I do understand that some boyfriend relationships are more stable than marriages, your best bet is still to wait. Tricking a man into a baby (which I do realize you didn't say you were thinking of, and I hope you're not) is never good in either situation. In serious cases it can lead to the man either bolting or living with it but feeling resentment towards you for possibly the rest of your life.
If you're old enough to even be considering children (over 20), and you're in a relationship that has been honestly stable for at least a year, talk to him to find out why he's not ready. I agree that financial stability is important, espeically if you're going to try. Just because people manage to have and raise kids when they're broke doesn't mean it's a good idea. If his reasons are more personal, like he just doesn't want kids, or he's not sure he wants them with you, then evaluate your relationship and either compromise with him or find someone who wants closer to the same things that you do.
2007-01-21 01:33:44
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answer #2
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answered by desiderio 5
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It is not wise to have a baby if one party is not ready for parenthood. The other will suffer. Parenthood is a join effort and only if both are ready for it, then will the relationship and bonding with the newborn be easier. You may lose your boyfriend if you insist on having a baby whether he is ready or not and will suffer baby blues thereafter. It is not easy to be a single parent.
2007-01-20 21:36:34
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answer #3
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answered by Little cloud 2
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Im in a similar situation although slighlty different circumstances. I wanted to try in a few months but my partner wants to wait. He did say if it would make me happy he would now. Having thought about it ive desided to wait (im only 24), His reasons for waiting where that he wanted us to travel a bit first , plus we are trying to buy our first house together, and we are still paying off our university debts. So he said he wanted to wait till we have managed these things and they we can try. I decided after thinking about it that i would much rather bring my baby in to the world with a safe roof over their head and a little more money in my pocket. Plus its not like buying a car or going on holiday, you will need each others support on this one.
My advice which i found worked), was find out what he wants to do before you seattle down with kids or find out what makes him think he is not ready and talk about it, maybe come up with a plan. He needs to comprimise as well as you.
2007-01-21 22:04:09
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answer #4
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answered by Littleblonde-kacey is here 6
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I think having a baby purposely before getting married is a little backwards. Babies are a gift from Heaven for a husband and a wife in a loving marriage. I would want to make sure that who ever I have a baby with (which is a life-time commitment) is willing to make that kind of life-time commitment to me.
I recommend waiting on commitment. If he's willing to commit to you, then more than likely he'll be committed to your child!
2007-01-20 22:21:05
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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So you want a baby with someone who says he is not ready?Why? If you love him you have to respect his decision, it is SUCH a lifechanging situation and a 2 parent job as it should be, and even then, it still is difficult at times. You will need your spouse or mate to lean and depend on for emotional and physical support more than ever, I don't think you will get that 100% or maybe nothing at all if you force him into it.
2007-01-20 21:49:12
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answer #6
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answered by Red 7 3
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If your boyfriend isn't ready, don't push him. Maybe he wants to focus on getting married first, before starting a family. If you push the issue of kids, you may push him away. You say he is just your boyfriend, maybe hes not sure yet of a lifetime commitment, like a child, with you just yet. Give him time, focus on your relationship first, then see what happens.
2007-01-21 01:37:12
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answer #7
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answered by misty n justin 4
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heavily, i imagine you should have advised him a lengthy time period in the past - no longer top previously you're delivering. you may want to pick to be quiet for now, a minimum of a pair months, because after shipping, you'd be exhausted and the most concentration might want to be on a thanks to protect this little toddler that ahs no longer something to do with all the complicated stuffs round him/her. So allow's concentration on the toddler for a pair months - or till whenever you imagine you had a grip in this new element, and tell your boyfriend then. i understand it sounds undesirable, yet on your sake as a clean mom and the toddler's sake, i do not imagine all people desires anymore drama on suitable of that. trust me, coping with a clean toddler is not basic and infrequently might want to be stressful, you does no longer pick to wrestle such as your boyfriend once you want his helps the most.
2016-10-17 02:35:56
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answer #8
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answered by Erika 4
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having a baby is a huge commitment and changes your life for ever and is also the greatest gift of life....however it so much work and can really strain a relationship so its best that both parties really want to have one....keep speaking to him and discuss the pros and cons...ask him why he is reluctant and work through what ever issues he has....he will come around when the time is right
2007-01-20 21:31:36
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answer #9
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answered by askaway 6
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boyfriend...baby...too easy.
get married, THEN have a baby. if you trick the BOY into getting you pregnant, you will be raising that poor baby solo. and i wouldn't blame the boyfriend.
you are not ready for one.
2007-01-20 21:31:56
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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