What do you think about the following text I wrote?

Question

Now I was emptied of any feelings. A few months ago I was sinking into day-dreams full of desire... I had a need to see him, to hear him, to talk to him. Not now. It was as if I had been tired of these feelings, drained out of all energy for this desire. Tired and fed up. If I had been next to him now, I wouldn’t have been able to talk to him, I would have probably curled up like a cat when she needs sleep and put my tired self to sleep. It was strange for me to realize I was feeling nothing at all. I was too tired even to think about him during the day. In a way I felt a little disgusted with myself above all. How could I say such things, how could I behave in such a way, how could I accept to spend time with him? I couldn’t remember. It was someone else who did all those things, not me. In the meantime I had become someone else and perhaps it was a good excuse to move on and leave everything behind. Feelings, memories, man and all.

I had known for about a year now about his dark past. A past he had been hiding from me. I never cared about that really, in a couple of months I had discovered everything anyway... But I felt I could forgive everything and even did that. I pretended not to known anything and excused all his lies. I never brought up my knowledge of his dark past. I thought it would have been embarrassing to him and maybe it would have ruined everything we had for over one year...

I could not feel any jealousy, as I was analysing myself. I didn’t care about his former flames. All that mattered to me was the here and now, no matter how little it lasted. I had no pretense for it to last long...

...And now... where was it all? All the feelings which have made me feel alive? Perhaps I only needed to take a break from it all and then resume it.

Answer 1

Perhaps. Although I always know that if it was meant to be, it will be in the end. You have a lot of feelings of doubt way in the beginning when you talk about his dark past. That probably lead to the end result of your mind realizing that it needs a break to assess the relationship. In the end, you will do what is best for you.

Oh, and if you want me to tell you something about your story. I just pictured you as being really young.

Answer 2

Well, it depends how old you are. If you are, say, 17 or younger, it's okay. If you are much older than that well, then, I'd have to say it's not very good at all.

However, if you like writing, you can only get better with practice and there's no reason for you not to be a very good and successful writer.