I'm no expert but I hear stories about people who are not happy in their marriage and then they try all these things and all of a sudden it saves their marriage.
2007-01-20 19:34:24 · 11 answers · asked by AL IS ON VACATION AND HAS NO PIC 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A non-swinger friend of ours once commented after observing our relationship as well as others at swingers parties she attended with us:
"Swinging is like the icing on the cake. But if the cake underneath doesn't have all the ingredients to make it solid, all the icing in the world won't keep it from crumbling."
It's very true. Swinging won't "fix" a failing marriage, all it will do is add one more thing for the couple to fight about.
However, it won't harm a good one either.
In a 2000 study done by Bellarmine University they said "62.6% of swingers found that swinging improved their marriages/relationships, 35.6% said their relationships stayed about the same, and only 1.7% said they became less happy. Even among those who said their marriages were 'Very Happy' prior to swinging nearly half (49.7%) said they became happier."
We had a good marriage before we started swinging, and had great sex together. Now all of it's even better. Why? Because taking petty jealousy over sex out of the equation really defined what it is that makes us a couple and why we are together instead of with someone else. It's not just great sex. Hell, we had that with ex-spouses and lovers. It's great friendship. It's great companionship. It's common goals in life. It's absolute trust in each other.
That said, swinging doesn't work for everyone. You have to be able to separate love and sex as two different things. Or at least sex with someone you love and sex with others. One is soul sex as well as being great fun, the other is just great fun.
They say that 40% of people list a threesome (which is technically swinging) as their #1 fantasy, however, only about 0.01% of the population are active swingers. So that there tells you that it's a long way from fantasy to reality. Some can do it, others can't. Nothing wrong with that. It's just different strokes for different folks.
For some great and objective information about swinging, check-out The Swingers Board at http://www.swingersboard.com . You'll find lots of discussions in the forums with wannabe swingers, newbies, and veterans alike.
2007-01-21 10:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it doesn't save marriages. If you go into it with a shaky marriage, you can expect a serious decline in the level of peace and contentment in your house. It's a direction that couples can go in when they've tried all the other stuff and are ready to try something new. Swinging is to monogamy what skydiving is to flying a plane. Truly monogamous people shake their heads at us and think we're nuts. We must be! Who the hell else would jump out of a perfectly good airplane?? Why do we do it? Because we can, and because we've figured out how to enjoy it. Just like skydiving, it's not for everyone, and that's okay. And for those who haven't experienced it, it's nearly impossible to explain. You really have to experience it to understand all the dynamics fully.
For those marriages that swinging works for, good marriages have been made better for it. It amplifies whatever is put into it.
2007-01-21 06:13:55 · answer #2 · answered by intuition897 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, the couples who decide to try those things in an effort to revive happiness usually end up doing more damage. The excitement of something new might help for a while, but it's like putting a dirty bandaid on a gaping wound. It will complicate things further and make them worse in the long run.
Don't get me wrong. There are a few people out there who had that type of tendency and open mindedness all along, and only after trying to be monogamous out of love, and finding that it only made them feel like they were missing out on something-that a newfound freedom like that might actually be of sincere benefit. Those people are in a very small minority.
Most of the time what actually happens is that a couple gets bored. They try something like this because it sounds good, it's supposed to be fun and cool, and it's easier to implement than digging for the root of the problem and fixing it. When the novelty fades, jealousy and emotional distance will set in, and you end up with more and bigger problems than what made you unhappy in your marriage before you started.
Instead of trying to spice things up by involving another person-try to expend that energy, creativity, and affection on the one you already have. Usually the lack of those three things is what is causing the unhappiness anyway.
2007-01-20 20:01:44 · answer #3 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is my opinion on things:
indeed, trying new experiences might be a solution for a couple that got bored...but i strongly doubt that this will "save" the marriage...it`s more of a solution on the short run...if the differences between the two became huge and their plans for the future are not the same anymore, there`s no way that the problems would get cleared by trying new sexual stuff....quite the opposite, this might bring new issues..and the marriage is doomed!
2007-01-20 19:42:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica Rabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely no. That is the last thing you should do.
In fact, if you were to attend one of the larger swing conventions in a big city, you would be required to attend a short lecture, and they would tell you,"Unless you have a very strong relationship, devoid of jealousies or insecurities, this place may not be for you.
If you're having problems with your relationship, and you think that this is going to fix something, you should probably leave now."
People with problems are the LAST ones that should try swinging.
2007-01-21 00:25:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends, as some married couples are not happy with
each other so they want someone else to get involved,
but again this just shows how marriage is not what it used
to be and many couples are trying to find other means on
making them happy while still married and usually ends
up still being un-happy with each other.
2007-01-21 14:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a long term relationship with someone who tried to introduce me to this lifestyle.
I think it depends on your values and morals. I could not get into it because I was raised, and still am a devout Christian and this lifestyle flies in the face of everything I believe. How can you enjoy sex when you feel so dirty about it.
However, if you have no religious convictions and have no hang ups with practicing free love, this is the way to go. I will admit, those people look like they're having fun. I just couldn't get into it and it thoroughly pissed me off when my boyfriend could.
2007-01-20 19:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by Sheryl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I even have this swing and that i like it very plenty. it truly is incredibly attainable that it could be plugged in or run on batteries. The cellular above the swing is likewise cool because of the fact the leaves open and close on the comparable time because of the fact the animals spin around. you additionally can swing the cellular lower back in the journey that your toddler isn't in touch. it truly is incredibly hardship-free to gather and recline/turn. I defintiely propose it. i think of your toddler although has multiple time to get exhilaration from it.
2016-12-14 08:05:07 · answer #8 · answered by jepsen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If sex is the one and only issue than perhaps. But it isn't usually. So I'd say no. Especially with children.
2007-01-20 19:45:25 · answer #9 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Real swingers for fun
2016-05-30 05:30:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋