I have lived with my boyfriend for 2 years. We have been engaged for one year. He keeps telling me that he really wants to marry me and he does not ever want to break up. The thing is, I keep trying to save and he keeps wanting to spend. When I bring it up about saving he refuses to talk to me about it. I thought that we had an awsome relationship, where I could talk to him and he would understand me. Is this just a thing about men or am I wasting my time? I need to know, I don't want to leave him at all, but, I really want to be married. I keep thinking that he just doesn't want to be married. What do I do?
2007-01-20 19:11:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Save without letting him know.
2007-01-20 19:17:37 · answer #1 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have two separate issues. One is your difference in your spending habits. The second one is the marriage. I would not give an ultimatum about the marriage unless you are prepared to let him go if the answer is not what you want to hear. Do you want to be married to someone that does not really want to marry you? As a couple, you two do need to sit down and talk about many things. One of them is money. What should your budget be for saving and spending based on your current income and goals? Money is one of the major causes for a break up so maybe you should seek counseling? Why does he feel the need to spend? What is he spending it on? Maybe there are compromises but you definitely have to be talking to agree on a compromise.
The second issue is the marriage. Have you guys set a date and it keeps getting pushed back or you just never discussed the date? If not, then maybe you can start discussing when a good date would be for you two. Good luck to you and I hope things work out.
2007-01-21 03:23:52 · answer #2 · answered by whowhat? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The three most common argued about things in a marriage is
1) spending (and large ticket)
2) savings
3) investments (inheritance and stuff)
People are raised different and have different views, common ground should be found if possible prior to marriage. Who is going to pay what bills develops into you bought what? ' and you invested in what?
I really think each person should maintain a separate account, especially when over 50% of marriages end in divorce.....
2007-01-21 03:45:55 · answer #3 · answered by Red 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well stright up and ask him what the world does he wanna do that you are feeling that he no longer wants to marry you .....see what he has to say ....tell him you need to know cause if not you will move on cause you do wanna be married one day tell him
2007-01-21 03:16:47 · answer #4 · answered by blugeanie923 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on!! he is just stringing you on.
Does he have a job? If not leave him, leave him now!
2007-01-21 03:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋