2007-01-20 19:10:05 · 16 answers · asked by Becky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it dies when you got married, then it wasn't love. Lust and infatuation can feel just as powerful, and are easily confused. It is normal, after years and years of the mundane tasks of paying the bills and cleaning the house-or after the dynamic changes and stress is brought on by major life events like having a child-for the novelty and excitement to die down from time to time. Not only normal-but you kind of have to expect it. Dating is new, exciting, and full of possibilities. Including the possibility of changing your mind. Marriage takes that last one off of the list. But if you truly love someone, you don't easily fall into the idea that you would ever need to change your mind. And excitement, fun, and possibilities can still be just as much a part of it as it ever was. When the basis of the relationship wasn't ever really love to begin with, the thought of the permanence of marriage-and being with that one person indefinitely-will creep up on you and make you feel trapped. But love doesn't just die. And acquiring a piece of paper doesn't change real feelings. It can only change thoughts.
2007-01-20 19:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's cause when you date, you have high expectations from your date but when you marry you find few of your expectations shattered. The problem is not with the marraige here but its with the dating. Be careful when you are on a date. Be original, be honest and donot expect anything from your date. Dating is a media for you to understand the other person and to let him understand you. At this stage you must prepare yourself to understand your future responsibilities. You gotta have a futuristic mentallity set with goals and not dreams. You must understand that both of you need to stand by each other no matter what. Probably one misses out this part and hence is not able to enjoy his/her marraige as much.
2007-01-21 04:48:11 · answer #2 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your goal is marriage pick the mate based on things other than the initial feeling of attraction/passion. Pick things like who will be loyal and kind, a good companion,good parent if you want kids together, supportive family,etc. The other stuff is the frills that will fall away like petals on the rose. The romance and love can continue and grow but not the exactly feeling as in the first few months it isn't meant to continue that way.. Just make sure there is something to take the place of that in terms of meaningful and compatible traits.
2007-01-21 03:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by FoudaFaFa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is powerful only when you don't classify it under any level or category...you love as it appears to be natural...
Marriage is a mere formality...it is not natural to marry...it is a moral religious and cultural obligation...love is the total opposite of obligation...it is powerful when you are free...when you have no limits or restrictions...what happens after marriage...well there happens a subconscious phenomena...love dies...
But if you fight for what you value and care about you preserve your love and make it even stronger!
2007-01-21 03:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by josh k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think love dies, I think passion dies. The bursting flame that once was has died into a quiet flicker of fire. Love is much more than one emotion. It is a combination that men or women are really ready for. We want the fire, but we don't want to work to keep it kindled.
2007-01-21 03:16:27 · answer #5 · answered by Pearl B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love doesn't die after marriage it gets misdirected and shared by the number of kids u have. Wives just put it on the back burner and forget about us and complain we don't pay enough attention to their needs selfishly forgetting that it was them who left us behind the minute that first child came into this world. Shame on them to forget us we need them too. Nag, nag, nag that's all I get instead of love, love love which is all I need to be content not totally happy but content. I'll be happy when the kids r grown and off on their own this I know and am prepared for, not just looking forward to it cuz if we last that long I might get my Baby back all to myself. I'm not trying to be selfish just hopeful.
2007-01-21 03:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if love dies between married couples, then they have to take an action for it. sit together and try to solve it.
they must stick to the building rules they took at the begining. lovee is not only sex.
sex = body talk
love = sex + keep giving
if u stop giving you stop as well loving
Rain
2007-01-21 03:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by sherif_mattar2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
while dating you dont give 100% to the relationship,so the love is powerful. In marriage sometimes you get on each others nerves.
2007-01-21 03:21:47 · answer #8 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they do not think they have to prove anything any more.
Tell them and tell them now you need more out of a married life then a roll in the hay.
2007-01-21 03:26:33 · answer #9 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The love does not die, it only changes. For people that only marry for that special tingly feeling, their marriages are doomed to failure. Marriage has to be about more than tingly feelings. It has to be about trust, and honor, and caring enough about the other person to take care of them like you would yourself.
You have to love them like you would your brother, your sister, your mother, and the rest of your family. Only, you don't get to have sex with the rest of your family.
Maybe you simply want the feelings of sexual attraction to stay the same? It's called "attraction" because you are pulled to them. Not tied to them. That is what marriage is. It ties.
2007-01-21 03:17:07 · answer #10 · answered by TellMeSup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋