This is kinda a hard situation for me- I live in small southern town in MS, rasist still exsit everywhere- I was raised by my mother who took me to church and told me to love everyone no matter what and my idiot "good ole boy" dad who used the "n" word eversecond and is a big sterotyper and racist and thinks anyone who speaks to "non whites are "n-lovers" I really cant stand him- my sister still lives with him and shes 22 thank god my mom rubbed off on me and i am not like that (and thank god she finally divorced him after 27yrs..he also thanks all men are kings and women are here to serve) anyways i have a 4 yr old son I try to distance us from from them because i dont want him around stuff like that and want him to think its ok to be like that I am tryin to teach him to judge ppl as indivals not as thier skin color- should i just say hey SHUT UP around us or dont come around or just make sure i try to teach my son thats not right? (hes a jerk and so is my sis but family?)opion anyone
2007-01-20 19:00:44 · 13 answers · asked by JuStmE 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Tell you father that you will not allow him to speak in racially offensive manners around your son. That if he wishes to see his grandson he must speak properly and politely. This goes about women's place to. If he can't meet these standards, EVEN FOR A SECOND, send him away from your son (if he is at your place) or take your son and leave the area he is around. If he truly wants to be with your grandson and you, he will learn to control his tongue around you two. If not, do not be around him. If your sister is the same, treat her in the exact manner.
If your son asks why you often have to ask Granpa to leave or leave him, tell him that Granpa has done/said some bad things and needs to be in time out for a while. When he is older you may explain better, but I believe this simple explanation will work best.
Trust me, it is much better this way if you do not want your son to be racist/around racism. My Uncle got to me when I was young and until fourth grade I was, sadly, a racist. I hate that part of my life and love the fact you recognize your father and sister's problem and want your son to have nothing to do with it.
2007-01-21 03:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by bishonenofcacophony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to your family about it tell them you would rather they didnt "swear" around your son racist words like the 'n' word are swear words cos in this context are only spoken in anger or in a negative way. Racism is everywhere unfortunately we cannot avoid being exposed to it 100% of the time and children need not be sheltered from the truth because with the right guidance this is how we teach them that racism is not acceptable. Show your dissapointment when racism occurs in your home your son will pick up on it immediately and let your son know that racism is offensive and can hurt other people alot. It is not necessary offend your family I know this must be a hard situation to be in try to be diplomatic but you need to stand your ground.
2007-01-20 19:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by cmayshe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow-- I really admire you for living a principled life and know that you have a huge influence on your son already.... just as your Mom influenced you! I always keep in mind what I heard or read about Maya Angelou at her houseparties-- she loves to entertain, but if she hears anything that is sexist, racist or homophobic, she just raises her hand and yells something like "Stop! That is NOT permitted in my house". I hope that I will have the courage to do something like that if I hear similar slurs in my house. These are the kinds of "statements" that our kids remember as they grow up with us... real moments of demonstrating our principles.
I'm not sure how you will actually handle this where your father is concerned (because we also want to demonstrate some sort of basic respect for our parents, even if they are jerks), but I'm sure your son will learn the right stuff from you.
God bless!
2007-01-20 19:15:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You won't be able to protect him from this knowledge of the dark side of human nature forever. It is important for all of us to understand that other people have feelings just like we do. If they are fat or a different race or disabled, it's not OK to forget that they are people like us in some ways and different in others. We are all different and the same.
Good luck with the family stuff. We all have it, unless we hide it. My 21 year old has to ask her Grandfather to "Be Quiet" several times during dinner at our weekly family night out.
He makes really rude comments all the time. She's the only one he seems to hear or pay attention to.
2007-01-20 19:13:24 · answer #4 · answered by Susan M 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Living in the south, your son is definitely going to hear racism remarks from others at school besides the members of your family. You do not have to say hey SHUT UP, but you can say, I am trying to teach my son not to be prejudice. I would appreciate it if you did not talk like that around him. You continue to teach your son what you believe, and each and every time he has encountered this, re-enforce accepting other races, and hopefully it will be instilled in him to be this way also. There is no guarantee that it will, because my daughters' father and I reared all 3 of our daughters to accept other races. Two of our daughters are very accepting of other races, but one is not.
2007-01-20 19:10:20 · answer #5 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Always remember to take time and talk to him after spending time with any of these people, so that you get to review with him what was said and where you think he should see a different point of view.
And you must go into this review time prepared- do your homework before you even visit, so that you have some prepared things to say, no matter what words get said. This could actually be a great opportunity to teach, although usually no one sees opporunity in such a stark circumstance.
2007-01-20 19:05:32 · answer #6 · answered by bscoms 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
this is your child and you must raise him the way you think is best. if you are around a family member and they start to speak that trash excuse yourself and your child and politely tell them that is not the environment that you are trying to create for your child. if they don't offer a heart felt apology leave. they may be so ate up with themselves they may not apologize for a long time because they think they are right. if you put him that environment no amount of trying to talk him down to earth will be enough.
your mother may be your only contact for years, but it is better to have one good ally, than a bunch of conditional allies.
2007-01-20 19:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by sodajerk50 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it would be easy to guard him away from all that stuff. if he dont hear it from ur family he's going to hear it from someone else. just tell him ur beliefs and whats right and wrong. but let him know that calling people names is disrespectful. but one thing i always learned is that you have to be a role model for your kids in order for them to listen to you. for example you cant tell a child not to use profanity but then u turn around and swear like a sailor. but to be honest you sound like a wonderful mother and with that people with wonderful mothers turn out to be wonderful people in the end.
2007-01-20 19:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by superstar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him make up his own mind.hard times are coming and a little bit of racial pride will serve him well.the other races all have it, why not whites?
2007-01-20 19:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't let your son play in the garbage or socialize with trash!
2007-01-20 19:04:29 · answer #10 · answered by sexy c 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋