No i'm not one of the "evil" ones.I have been married for 23yrs,neither one of us has ever cheated,but i do know that if it was too happen,either I would be gone or he would.I don't believe these other women are "evil" (unless they are the type who deliberately and without conscience go out searching down married men) If a wife who is supposed to know her husband better than anyone can be looked in the face and dupped into believing the "I love you,i would NEVER! cheat on you,your the only one" speach then why not the other woman.And as for the "They took their vows in the eyes of god" thing ,most people wouldnt know God if he jumped up and bit them in the ***.(No offence to those of a religious nature,I did say most) I personally have no religious belief and was married in a civil ceremony, my marriage contract means too me to be faithful too each other,show deep respect,companionship,Trust,love,honesty and show tolerance and acceptance within those boundaries.I simply wanted to know.
2007-01-20 18:50:33 · 8 answers · asked by jennybuttins 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well i have to admit.. i thought the same as u do.. thought if my husband every cheated id be gone quick.. but when it actually happened to me.. my heart was crushed my soul was crushed.. and all i could think about were my children were going to grow up with out their father.. it literally destroyed me inside.. and i kept asking myself if he wanted to come back, would i, and the answer was yes i would of tried to make my marriage work.. i gave him every opportunity to come back before the divorce papers were signed, told them once they were signed tho it was over.. and well he chose her over me (although as karma would have it she cheated on him and they broke up lol) but nonetheless its really hard to judge someone elses actions when u , yourself havent been put into that situation..and its very hard realizing that u wasted years of your life on a spouse that obviously didnt love you back.. So be thankful that your husband is a good man and that ur beating the odds.. and dont chastize those, that would rather try and hold on to someone they love no matter what it takes...
Please trust me when i say, u just cant know for sure what u'd do in that situation untill ur the one in it.. i was extremely adament that id bolt if that happened, and i found myself wishing he'd come back.. so be thankful that u've never been there..
2007-01-20 20:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My only concern about your statement is that you are so certain about your husband. While it is a good thing for you to trust him, it is a folly to vow that he never cheated - unless you have been with him 24/7 since you got married, or his is in such a body state that he could not move around without assistance - mainly from you.
But I wish you the best in your marriage and the trust you have for each other. Keep it up!
2007-01-21 03:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wives often times forgive, because they have faith and love for this man. sometimes the wives fear the future, and financial hardship if they left the cheater. the wife is always the last to know, because she trusts him, doesn't question him, especially if she hasn't experienced cheating in her marriage before. sometimes women choose to stay in denial because denial protects them from having to face the truth. the other woman becomes evil when she deliberately gives him ultimatums causing him to make his choice, maybe before he is ready to move on. as some men are so easily controlled, and follow whatever is being said to them. wives never do know unless they happen to outright see it, but chances are he is hiding it, and if your not looking for it u won't see it, until it is way too late to do anything about it.
2007-01-21 09:43:10 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought the same thing as you did once. I had a husband that I thought would never cheat on me. Everyone, including me, thought we had the perfect marriage. We never disagreed on anything in 10 years. I would have died for him, that's how deep my love was for him. But I trusted him too much. He got mixed up with a girl he worked with. She was just looking for a "sugar daddy". She knew exactly what to do to boost his ego. She made the mistake of calling here one night and he rushed off to "pick up his (male) friend at the bar because "the guy's girlfriend was worried about him" Of course this was a lie. He finally 'fessed up to his infidielity. He said "I met someone, and we made a connection" That was the only explaination I got. I was devestated. He moved out. My heart felt like he ripped it out. For the next year, I cried and suffered daily. I could barely funtion. If it wasn't for my sister , who gave me emotional support, I don't know how I would cope. After he maxed out his credit card trying to impress her, she left him. Since then, he's been going out with different girls. He once told me, he can't come back because that would be like "coming back with his tail between his legs" (again, it's about ego) What surprised me the most is how easily he lied to me. As for me, I used to brag about how lucky I was to have him. I never had a bad word to say about him. NEVER say "never" It could happen to you. But I hope it never does. It's worse than losing a loved one to death. When a spouse dies, at least you have good memories to cling to. The last memories I will have are bad ones.
2007-01-21 12:02:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sometimes the willingness to forgive and move on that seems to motivate some wives..I've never been married and feel that the cheaters are so disrespectful and the other party just can't think that they can do better off...It's hard to even be mad once you think then you also can be!
2007-01-21 02:57:22 · answer #5 · answered by memjabeana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a comment..when saying my man has never cheated..the thing is..brutally honestly..you will never know. All you COULD hope for is refraising.."from what I know he has not ever cheated on me and if he did then I would..."
2007-01-21 03:29:33 · answer #6 · answered by RAW AND GRIM \,,/ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that all men cheat, some are just good at hiding it. others are stupid and forget they are married.
as for the women that date married men,when they marry, someone will do the same thing to them.
it will really hurt them and destroy their family. then they will remember what they did in the past. what goes around comes around a thousand times. as long as he wears a condom whats the big deal.
2007-01-21 03:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by LENA 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
...and exactly what is the question regarding this matter?
2007-01-21 02:59:14 · answer #8 · answered by lenise1973 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋