2007-01-20 18:14:57 · 16 answers · asked by countyinmate_323 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
of course you shouldnt hide something like that even if you think she wont like it
2007-01-20 18:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by luscious kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, eventually and carefully. After you've answered a few questions of your own: does this mean you feel you'll need to go out and explore this side of you, or is this something that is part of you but you are as committed to her and your marriage...and being faithful to her as always? Have you cheated...is this how you "found out" and is that part of what you need to tell her as well?
Secrets between spouses are nearly always poisonous, and can inflate an issue to crisis proportions when, had they been out in the open, they could have been dealt with organically and differently.
You also need to consider how to approach this...is your wife already someone fairly open minded with gay friends and a healthy understanding of what being gay or bisexual IS and IS NOT? Or will she be awash in a lot of misconceptions and fears when she hears this information? Very different approaches and timetables are reqired under these very different circumstances.
Also, you need to know one thing as sure as you possibly can when you talk. Are you actually bisexual or is this the first step in accepting that you are a homosexual? You owe yourself, your wife, and any children if you have them, the most honest answer possible to this question.
Lastly, lay some groundwork by discussing these issues and situations involving "other couples" and see how she responds, that will inform how your approach should be.
And most of all, let her know that you love HER, only HER, and are committed to your marriage to HER...but only if it's true. Most of any negative reaction she will have will come from insecurity and fear.
2007-01-24 18:32:51 · answer #2 · answered by B B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your wife and don't plan to cheat on her then you don't need to make a huge announcement. After all, having a same sex partner would still be cheating. If you are close and open to your wife and if you really feel like bottling it up is taking a toll on you then you should perhaps tell her. How did you find out that you were bi? Did you have a relationship? If so, that makes things a little more complicated.
2007-01-21 02:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by DaveMan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what kind of relationship you have with your wife.
If you are not close to her, be careful about what you say and do. You don't have much to lose relationally, but the divorce might cost you big time.
If you are close to her, you have to tell her. If you don't, then she is in a relationship with your false self instead of you, and you've lost her. You need to share what you're going through with honesty and vulnerability. If she loves you, is at least somewhat open-minded and not brain-dead with fundamentalist ideology, she should stand by you. It could bring the two of you closer together.
2007-01-21 02:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by ftm_poolshark 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you dont just find out you are bisexual you cheated on her to find this out right? Do yourself a favor and tell her now anfd get real dude you are GAY not bisexual that is a myth men cannot go both ways be honest with your wife and allow her the opprotunity to get out of your life and not waste any more of her life on you,
2007-01-21 02:48:13 · answer #5 · answered by ravenlocks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you just found out that you are a bisexual and you loved both gender and see what happens.
2007-01-21 02:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by javo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hidden secrets are never good in a relationship. So, yes you should tell your wife before she finds out on her own.
2007-01-21 07:37:39 · answer #7 · answered by smackyoudown2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you should rebuke the sin and pray for God to forgive you for the sin of homosexuality & the sin of adultery against your wife. Then, as He says in the Bible, "GO AND SIN NO MORE." Especially if there are kids involved. Forget your sinful desires & lead a respectible & holy life. Be an example for them. Your desires should not control you & it is WRONG to let them destroy your family. There's a reason why it's called temptation.
2007-01-21 02:21:42 · answer #8 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We are all bisexual.
People who think otherwise are just closed off to the truth of what is. Our capacity to love has no gender.
Yes, tell her immediately
2007-01-21 02:26:52 · answer #9 · answered by Salsa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends how open she is about that sort of thing. try giving it a test run and tell her you know of a friend from work who is this way see how she reacts and what she says.
2007-01-21 20:44:30 · answer #10 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating on your wife is disgusting Ii hope she catches you and sues your worthless backside.
So, yes I think you should tell her.
2007-01-21 13:19:51 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋