I'm 15 and I just found out yesterday one of my friends is a lesbian. I had a hint she might be but I didnt want to assume anything. yesterday she made a comment about her kissing her girlfriend so obviously i was sure. when we were just sitting there talking earlier and she kinda just reached over and stroked my face. I was totally weirded out and just kinda didnt do anything. Theres been a few other times too. I dont know what to say to her because i'm a little weirded out but i want to keep her as a friend. and i dont want ot lea her on or anything, im straight. What am i supposed to do/say????? I'm clueless. My friends have told me i should just act as if nothings happened.
2007-01-20 18:10:07 · 33 answers · asked by chitowngirl 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
alot of people are telling me to say that im not like that but for me its hard b/c shes my friend and i think that if i say that then it'll be really akward.
2007-01-20 18:26:41 · update #1
I'm afraid that if i say somthing then shes gonna say "i dont mean anything like that" and then i'll be really embarassed and our friendship would be over.
2007-01-20 18:30:41 · update #2
Your friends are wrong. You should say something, because it is making you uncomfortable. But just say what you said here:
The other day when you stroked my face, "I was totally weirded out and just kinda didnt do anything. Theres been a few other times too. I dont know what to say to (you) because i'm a little weirded out but i want to keep (you) as a friend. and i dont want ot lead (you) on or anything, im straight. "
"I'm afraid that if i say somthing then (you're) gonna say "i dont mean anything like that" and then i'll be really embarassed and our friendship would be over."
and add, "So if I'm reading more into it than you meant, I'm sorry. But I just had to say something cuz I'm so weirded out."
2007-01-20 18:44:55 · answer #1 · answered by ftm_poolshark 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it were a matter of her asking you out, you would do the same thing you'd do with anyone you weren't interested in--just say, "No, thank you, I'm not interested."
But touching you like that is a little more difficult. From what you've described it really doesn't sound appropriate, but if you call her on it she may say she didn't mean anything and get indignant and call you a homophobe. Which definitely wouldn't help your friendship!
Still, I think you do need to be direct. Ignoring it is not good advice. I think the next time she touches you inappropriately--if it's really something you wouldn't tolerate from any of your other friends--you should just move her hand away from you and say, "I don't like to be touched like that." Then continue the conversation you were having. Don't make a big deal of it, and hopefully she won't either, but she should get the message.
2007-01-20 18:18:09 · answer #2 · answered by EQ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i wouldnt' act as if nothing happened she will try this again and when she does say betty i really like your friendship and it doesn't bother me about yoru life style but im straight and im not interested in anything like that. If you wish to be friends with me the way it was before then im cool with that.
I think she would appreciate it more you being up front and honest with her. And that you like her friendship but just not interested in her the other way. I too have been hit on by women and im always pleasent about it and tell them what i told you and there very cool and continue on being nice. but without trying to touch you or kiss you.
So do that
2007-01-21 12:47:52 · answer #3 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really care about her as a friend I wouldn't wait for another uncomfortable situation to confront her it could cause upset or embarrassment for either one of you. The next time you see her tell her you want to talk to her. I would say something like I'm really glad that you feel comfortable enough in our friendship to be open and honest about who you are but it makes me feel uncomfortable when you do things like touch my face. things may be awkward for a minute but I'm sure if she's that good of a friend she'll appreciate your honesty and respect your boundaries.
2007-01-20 18:28:03 · answer #4 · answered by firecracker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friends would be wrong, telling you to act as if nothing happened. Do not keep this bottled up. If she is your friend, be honest and straight with her. If she has any self worth and respects you as a friend, she will still be your friend Take it from me, a straight guy who has had gay friends cross his life. You have to set your boundaries, don't be vague. Worse case scenario, get a boyfriend who is very clingy and in to you.
2007-01-20 18:20:28 · answer #5 · answered by Eric N 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your feeling uncomfortable about something your friend does, no matter what it is, it's best to approach her with it the best way you know how. If in fact she is making advances on you, and you act as if nothing's happened, she will only continue thinking that you like it and may go further.
2007-01-20 23:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by smackyoudown2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Smile and tell her you're not interested.
2016-06-02 08:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by Jennie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just during your conversations say that you really are sure you are straight , not as telling her but as a usual conversation , or put it in a story that a girl tried to hit on you and you told her no and just after that say "I am really straight" or something about that .
Don't wait for her move to tell her , just during usual life say all that so you stay friends , if she told you she is les or bi act as if you don't know and tell her you are fine with that but you are not , and explain that you are sure of that .
2007-01-20 18:59:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not really a distinct sign of flirtation. Especially if you are already friends. I'm sure she knows you're straight. If she does or says something that is more clear, I'd tell her what you'd tell anyone who flirted with you that you were not interested in.
Don't automatically assume that she's flirting with you. You may say something and she may burst your bubble and share that she's not even attracted to you.
2007-01-20 18:16:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Awh... you sound like a really great girl. She is very lucky to have a friend like you. I think your friends advice is well intentioned but to be honest your gay friend may misinterpret silence. I'd just act as you would if a guy you really liked but did not fancy hit on you. Laugh it off..tell her you like her a lot but not in that way.
Oh..and what would her girlfriend say if she knew she was stroking other girls faces ;-)
2007-01-20 18:18:16 · answer #10 · answered by dws2711 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋