My dear fellows (men), I'd like to know what things you value...?

Question

...the most. I've been asking some questions about monogamy and the treatment of women and I didn't get a whole lot of male responses. I'm not referring to all men, but that's kind of unpleasant. If some of you don't care a whole lot about treating women right, then what DO you care about?

Answer 1

I think most men would value treating women right if feminism wasn't so self-deceiving about the human condition, and didn't define it in self-centered feminine terms that treat most of what's masculine as somehow less than human. Feminism doesn't set the bar too high, but sets it way on the feminine side of the divide.
___I'm not talking about equal rights here; that is a laudable goal. I'm talking about "equal rights" as defined through a feminine bias that views human reality as the reality that women see when they observe reality exclusive of masculine perspectives.
___But feminism, at least a form of it that is set a bit back from the most extreme versions, is so ingrained in the conventional wisdom of the West that we've almost lost the means to question its assumptions, or to see how feminized they are. Feminism defines the terms of the discourse on gender specifically and ethics and politics generally, and then it wonders why men bail out, and don't bother to take it seriously.
___I see a whole lot of men as victims of self-fulfilling prophecies who have been told that their masculinity is a defect, and so treat their own lives as less valued than the lives of women. So they don't pursue the big goals or the deep goals, but content themselves with trivial gratifications. Their relationships with women reflect this.
___Unfortunately, these dynamics are becoming more subtle as time goes on, and as feminism becomes more ingrained in conventional wisdom. And men will continue to have increased failure rates, and it will continue to appear increasingly to conventional wisdom that it's their own fault.
___Perhaps when feminism stops looking at the world through female-tinted glasses, and begin to think of the human condition as being half-masculine, and stop assuming that they have a clue about men without actually considering what masculinity is about in its own terms, men will come to have more respect for women. Perhaps when feminism accepts that the feminine and the masculine are equally prone to evil, and equally prone to good, equally responsible for the evil in the world and equally responsible for the good, men (besides the feminized ones who don't really count) will begin to participate in the moral community more. Perhaps when feminism begins to take into consideration the forms of power wherein women tend to have advantages (emotional and sexual manipulation), and plug them into its narrow-minded formulas of equality, men will consider women honest.
___If you want to see what men value, look back in history to authentic patriarchies. What you will see will be extreme versions, perhaps, but the outlines will become clear. Viewed non-dismissively, you'll see a valuing of other-worldly and abstract ideals, of striving not against other people, but against one's own self or the status quo in general, the pursuit of long term visions instead of here and now needs, etc. And that masculine goal-setting treats power as a tool, not a goal, and that feminism's pursuit of power as a goal is ultimately less effective. And perhaps you'll see that acts of violence against the status quo are intrinsic to innovation, and that risk-taking is intrinsic to good leadership, and that feminine values are contrary to these sorts of progress.
___But at a deeper level, its not only about what is valued, but how valuing is engaged in. There's a different method at play, and until feminism gets its head out of the sand, it will continue to go on clueless, perpetuating its damage to men and then blaming men for their "intrinsic" flaws, and festering in dissatisfaction.
___The fact that there are feminist extremists that are out of the mainstream doesn't prove that feminism isn't ingrained in conventional wisdom. In matters of gender, feminism's successes, combined with some underlying trends towards feminine values that are intrinsic in modernity, have created a condition similar to the out-of-touchness of the Bush White House.
___Feminism is to late modernity what Catholic theocracy was to the late Middle Ages. "Radicalism" is supposed to go the roots, to tear out assumptions, but so-called feminist radicalism is a superficial but extreme adjustment of social arrangements.real radicalism requires authentic assumption-questioning, not the intellectually tepid social disruption of modern feminism. Feminism needs to get a clue.

Answer 2

I value sleep, food, shelter, sex, and music. everything else is a bonus.

Answer 3

beer............