Early childhood psychological trauma?

Question

Ever since I was a young child as far back as I can remember, I always felt "damaged" in some way, as if something about me just wasn't right, or that I was messed up.

Has anyone else experienced this. Is there a reason for this, or a cause? And this is a serious question, so please don't give me any BS about past lives.

Thank you.

Answer 1

I always thought I was different or adopted or maybe retarded(we used that word back then) After my 30's and a good deal of learning about myself through classes, I remembered some abuse that I didn't want to remember. I was sexually abused as a small child by a friend's father when I spent the night with her. I also had some in my own home.It was like I had a sign on my forehead that said here is a small child who will not tell if you want to abuse her. No one recognized my behavior changing drastically.The family was working, my mom had bad heart problems ( and lost 4 babies after me)all of my life, and the other siblings were teens who were busy working, going to school, and doing chores, plus going out with their friends.I felt I was overlooked therefore wasn't important. I hope and pray that you will figure out your reason soon and get help. Having no self-esteem and then having the abuse and emotional stress really did a number on my ability to pick out good men or think I was worthy of decent jobs or happiness. Best wishes to you. I will be happy to help you if I can. I did get straightened out, graduated college w/a double major,and went back and received my teaching cert. and coun/guid degree!!

Answer 2

I wonder that you feel it necessary to eliminate past lives as a possibility, when you talk about "as far back as you can remember." Certainly, a trauma you suffered when you were too young to remember (or which was blocked from your memory) is a real possibility.

But I do not think you can eliminate the possibility that there is some memory that bleeds through from one lifetime to another. Unless, of course, you simply reject the possibility of reincarnation. If you do, then you must go with the early childhood hypothesis. Have you ever talked about this with a member of your family old enough to know if something did happen?

Think about why you are so certain it cannot be reincarnation. What implications does this have for your world view that you cannot accept? The persistence of a soul from one lifetime to another would imply the existence of a soul. Is that the problem? Do you wish to be a materialist? Or do you belong to a religion that denies reincarnation?

Answer 3

I think there are two possible answers here. 1 that you have some repressed memories of something that happened to you or 2 you may have been lead to believe that you were not good enough. Most everyone else that has answered has touched on repressed memories so I'll leave it at just a mention. If it is #2 it wouldn't be something blatant, but something subtle that happened several times. For instance someone saying things like "boy that was dumb" or "aren't you smart enough to handle simple things". Hearing things like that over and over through out your life can deffinetly leave you with a feeling of being damaged.

The best way I can say to figure out what the actual issue is would be to talk with your parents and/or siblings.

Answer 4

Tim, I don't think anyone can give you a good answer on this. Only you know yourself well enough.

Your feeling could have a real basis, that you may have been traumatized in some way in your childhood. On the other hand, it can be just a matter of lack of confidence, low self-esteem, or even hormonal changes (hormones are not just limited to women!) during certain periods of your life.

If you have a pretty normal and regular life so far, it may even be a matter that your mind just wanted to create something more interesting for yourself. I don't know how old you are, but I remember feeling this way in my mid/late teens. Somehow, imagining that I may have a wounded past seems to make me a more interesting person to myself.

If this is really bothering you, you should go see a psychologist or therapist. Be careful though to get a reputable practitioner, as a bad one can bungle things and allow your mind to make things up and even convince you that your imaginings are real.

Good luck!

Answer 5

There are many layers to what you are asking. It is possible to feel the way you do for the reasons you suspect, but also, you couold be surrounding yourself with people who make you feel small and that can make you think negatively about yourself too. I had an extremely negative childhood, but I always knew this because it was on-going; however, I too have felt something just wasn't ok about my past. Turns out I was right, a relative told me about an incident (involving me) that was extrordinarily negative (I was too young to remember, but always suspected). A psychotherapist can sometimes help in cases such as these, but that is your decision. Usually, when I have a feeling about something like that, there is a good reason for it. Can't say that the same is certain for you, but it sounds likely. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 6

As a small child I knew some how some where something had happened to me, but I didn't know what. Before I turned 10 I found some photos of me as a baby that answered some of my questions. After that I had to ask a family member if they knew what had happened to me. I got some answers but not all of them. As an adult, almost 30, I took it upon myself to go to the sheriffs office and look up some things and found out most of the truth. It was something that has haunted me from as far back as I can remember. It started with dreams when I was very young. I don't know what you are going through, but I do hope some how it helps to know that you are not alone with having "feelings" about something. Go with your gut feeling.

Answer 7

I was told I was an adopted child not until I was 34 years old; and believe me, this can really mess up your life for good. When I was told, my real father had already died and my real mom died a year after, she was my adoptive dad's sister. I grew up believing that my real mom and dad were my aunt and uncle and viceversa. Now don't ask me how my, so called "dad" (real uncle), managed to keep the secret for so long; he even threatened to kill ANYONE who'd dare to tell me the truth. The day he told me the truth, he got drunk before doing it. He couldn't stop laughing and my adoptive mother couldn't stop crying. I'm 43 yrs old now. My adoptive dad has Parkinson's disease and my adoptive mom has cancer and I take care of them both. It is incredible what the gift of forgiveness can give you as a human being. I'm also HIV+ and try to stay strong for them until they leave and then continue with life, as it flows.
Thanks for your question.

Answer 8

I feel that way too. I often think about my childhood and try to think of what happened to me to make me feel that way. Perhaps you may have some childhood trauma that you blocked out of your mind. Maybe it is in your subconscience.

I'm not condoning it, but maybe you should seek a therapist and have him/her do some type of hypnothearpy. Maybe that will help you understand these feelings you have.

Answer 9

I learned in one of the classes I took during college that if you have had a traumatic experience during childhood, you tend to supress it.
Maybe that's one possible reason why you always feel 'damaged.'
Try talking to your parents & siblings, maybe they know why you feel that way.
You can always try going to see a shrink if you can't figure it out on your own.

Answer 10

It sounds like a phobia to me. those are wierd and can trick your strategies into extreem paranoia. Phobias are an extraordinarily insane element of maximum folk and that i do no longer think of you have something to be bothered approximately.