My ex (father of my 3 year old) (been apart for 11/2 years) has joint custody, he is so cruel and mean to me, he has lied to and about me, called me names, vandalized my new truck, shoved me around once in front of our daughter and he is extremely controlling and a hypocrite he lays down ridicules rules and then he breaks them example:we went to mediation and his demand was my b/f of 7months was not allowed to spend the night when my daughter was here, now he is dating someone for the past 4 months and my daughter tells me that last night she slept with daddy and charlene in daddys bed, like what the F, I have put up with so much bulsht from this man. My daughter loves him and I never tell her what a jerk he is, I just grin and bear all the crap he puts me through for her, but I am afraid she'll think me weak when she's older because I put up with it. what do you think you would do in a situation like this?
2007-01-20 17:25:15 · 9 answers · asked by anjilla_kohl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agreed in mediation to keep peace, he would drive past my house and one night I borrowed my b/f car and it was parked in the drive , he freakin lost it and threated to take me to court, he knows I cannot afford a lawyer, I have exhausted all my saving from the last court battle and am still in debt from our relationship
2007-01-20 17:49:27 · update #1
WHO HAS HER MORE YOU OR HIM. AND WITH THAT I WOULD GO TO THE COURT HOUSE AND TRY TO GET CUSTODY OF HER AND JUST HAVE HIM WITH VISITATION RIGHTS. ARE YOU REPORTING THE THING HE DOES TO YOU OR WRITING THEM DOWN OR A POLICE REPORT IF NOT THEN YOU SHOULD START WRITE EVERY TIME HE CALLS OR COMES BY WITH **** TO SAY THEN JUST WRITE THE DATE TIME AND KEEP THAT AND GO TO COURT NO MOTHER SHOULD PUT UP WITH THAT BEING A SINGLE PARTNER IS HARD ENOUGH. AND WITH TIME MAY BE HE'LL GROW OUT OF IT THAT WHAT I WOULD DO AND I BELIEVE THAT NO YOUR DAUGHTER WON'T BELIEVE YOUR WEEK BECAUSE WHAT SHE SEE IS YOU HAPPY WITH SOME ON ELSE AND IF THAT'S REAL THEN SHE'LL SEE THAT LOVE. KIDS ARE SMART THEY CAN FIGURE THING OUT. SHE SEE HOW HE REALLY IS HAS A PERSON. AND IF ANYTHING SHE'S A LITTLE YOUNG TO REALLY REMEMBER WHAT YOU GUY ARE GOING THREW RIGHT NOW. BUT IN A YEAR OR SO THAT WHEN YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE WILL BE SEEING AND HEARING. HOPE THAT HELPS AND LITTLE JUST KEEP UR HEAD UP.
2007-01-20 17:47:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not taking sides but maybe she slept in Daddy's bed because she didn't want to sleep in the room by herself.
Children are very smart and you don't have to tell them anything she has eyes and ears and she'll make the judgment for herself.
Just never talk badly about her father to her or in front of her.
If you behave as a respectful adult your daughter will grow up the same.
2007-01-21 01:31:43 · answer #2 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You agreed to his terms in mediation? That sounds kinda ridiculous. If so, what would happen if you break his "rule"? When your daughter is older, she will see for herself what he is doing! Let's just hope he becomes mature and quits putting you through all that crap before then. You are such a good parent for not running her father down to her! You are making it a better situation for her.
2007-01-21 01:41:33 · answer #3 · answered by cakekweeny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree get a GOOD DIVORCE attorney!! He shouldn't b allowed 2 rule ur life when he is NOT following his own advice. His view is bascally that it's his way or no way & that's just not right!!Don't let him control u!!Tell the mediateor what he is doing & c what they say!! BUT GET A LAYWER & possibilty a restraining order!! He should NOT B allowed 2 push u around like this DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY W/ THIS BS!! When she is older tell her what happened! Let her know u stand up 4 ur self & ur bf!!!!
2007-01-21 01:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by Missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the fight away from your daughter as you are now doing. But do challange him in courtand stand up for yourself. Unless there is a real reason your bf shouldn't be around your daughter like molesting or drugs or violence, I would have to say your ex is a bit of a hipocrite
2007-01-21 01:34:31 · answer #5 · answered by Magic Mouse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a GOOD family law attorney and play hardball with him, if that's the way he wants it.
Your first priority and most important priority is to protect your child from this man, if he is truly as you describe him.
PS- if he is sleeping with a new girlfriend and the child in bed, that is completely inappropriate-- you may wish to go forward with a child custody evaluation, just be VERY CAREFUL of what therapist you choose (and attorney).
2007-01-21 01:29:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont need to take his BS. That's why you got a divorce, remember? AND I would be cautious about what your young daughter sees in both households.
2007-01-21 01:52:34 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the wonderful world of breaking off a relationship.It seems that there are always some nasty issues that get in the way when a couple split up.Wish it didn't have to be that way.
2007-01-21 01:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she'll realize soon enough when she is older and sees how things are.
2007-01-21 01:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by singledad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋