i am not gay but i'm not what you call a ladies man and never went out with or talked to girls growing up (if i did i kept it private as thats what i felt it should be) and i'm the oldest and was supposed to be influence for him. now he is gay and has HIV and i feel responsible. should i have tried to "set him straight" before he ended up with aids?
2007-01-20 16:16:28 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't think you could have done anything different. I feel that gay people are born like that. People can disagree with me whatever everyone has a opinion. Your a great brother Im sure and he wouldnt want you to feel guilty for his choices.
Good luck and God Bless
2007-01-20 16:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
1) Just because you weren't with any girls after your brother was born doesn't mean it had an influence on him to "become" gay.
2) HIV is not a disease only succeptible to gay men. He still ran the chance of getting AIDS/HIV if he were straight. That's just stupidity on his part. You can't blame yourself for that.
3) How exactly would you plan on setting him straight? What? Let him watch you do some chick? You can't just influence homosexuality or heretosexuality.
2007-01-20 17:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by Love Panda 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your brother has been homosexual all his life, and you have no influence on that. I'm really sorry he's HIV positive but in most cases this is not the death sentence it once was. Encourage him to get treatment immediately and he will probably live a reasonable life span. And its very likely he will find someone who is also positive to share his life with.
If you want to be an example and a good brother, then help him get the resources he needs, and be a liaison between him and your family.
While we are our brothers keeper, we cannot keep them from harm some times, just love him.
2007-01-20 17:05:07 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not. You can feel as bad as you want, but that will not change the past. And anyway you are not responsible for your brother's health status.
Now you still have the opportunity to love your brother and to provide emotional support and maybe other kinds of support as well (physical, financial, etc.). So try to stay focused on the good there is in your lives together.
2007-01-20 16:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by fall2005buseng 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You actually sound a lot like me--except I'm gay. Being gay isn't exactly responsible for having HIV.
You certainly couldn't have "set him straight"--could you switch to being interested in guys because someone told you to?
Your dating habits could potentially rub of on someone, whether you have the same sexual orientation or not, but it's hardly your fault if that didn't happen.
2007-01-20 16:40:35 · answer #5 · answered by enaronia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, most will tell you that people are born gay. Even if you do not believe that, and see it as behavioral, then remember that you are not responsible for the behavior and decisions of others. Regardless of which way you believe, you cannot make another person become gay.
2007-01-20 16:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that your brother has aids. However, you had nothing to do with him being gay. It would have been impossible for you to "set him straight," because he was born that way. Actually everyone has a chance of contracting aids, not just gays. The important thing to stress to everyone is to always use protection when having sex. It is important that we fight this epidemic.
2007-01-20 16:26:24 · answer #7 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Set him straight? I don't understand people like you. Take a walk on the logical side and maybe you'll understand that even if you had taken a girl out every night and been a man-slut, it still wouldn't have made your brother straight. It's just how it happens, dude.
2007-01-20 16:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by Magickal Goodness 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your brother. But I honestly feel that we are all born a certain way, and sometimes it just takes us a little longer to figure things out because society wants you to be a certain way. So that said no, you didn't make your brother gay, he was already that way. Anyone can get HIV if they aren't careful. All of those diseases are out there, so people just need to be aware that it can get them too. again, I'm sorry to hear about your brother having HIV, but it isn't your fault, just bet there for him, that is all you can do.
I hope you get threw it ok : )
2007-01-20 16:23:12 · answer #9 · answered by Sweetie 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
It is not your fault. Whatever the reason your brother choose his lifestyle and if that is what he wanted no one would have influenced him to do different. Just love him and make the time he has left here as good as you can. Be a good brother and be there for him in his time of need.
2007-01-20 16:22:49 · answer #10 · answered by Jay 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋