Has internet porn had a negative effect on your relationship?

Question

How does the use of internet effect relationships? My boyfriend is more interested in porn than in me.

Answer 1

It can destroy your life and your relationship if he keeps it up. If he is more interested in that than you, then he already has a problem. Confront him about it and see if you can get help from your local church or pastor to help with the counelling. But, nip it in the bud. I wish that my wife had done this and stuck by me during my recovery from this addiction.

Answer 2

(((hugs))) Been there ... done that. You need to know it an become an addiction and it's not about you at all.
Here's what Dr. Phil believes:

It is not OK behavior. It is a perverse and ridiculous intrusion into your relationship. It is an insult, it is disloyal and it is cheating.

Consider how it makes your partner feel. If it makes your partner feel ugly, hurt, deceived, lied to or inadequate, then it needs to stop. If it is eroding your relationship, it's gone too far.

Pornography isn't real, it's a fantasy. It's makeup, beauty lenses, hair extensions, camera angles, lighting and silicone! It's also somebody's daughter who has taken a really, really wrong turn. She's demeaning herself, debasing herself, humiliating herself and she's being exploited by people who are funded by you. It is a sick, demented, twisted world. It's not healthy, it's not natural and it's not normal.

Viewing Internet pornography or engaging in cybersex is a short step to taking cheating to the next level.

You need to tell your partner that viewing pornography is absolutely, unequivocally unacceptable in your relationship. Draw a line: Your partner needs to choose between the pornography or the relationship.

Ask yourself or your partner:

Would you do it with your partner standing right there?

Are you turning outside of your relationship to meet a need that should be met within the relationship? You can't change what you don't acknowledge, so find out if you or your partner have a problem.

Do you justify the behavior by saying, "It's harmless," "Everyone does it," or "It's just the Internet"?

Answer 3

I know how you feel. My boyfriend used to look at internet porn. He still treated me well and paid attention to me. Yet, there was something disturbing about my significant other looking at undressed women. It kinda feels like their cheating on you. They always say, "they dont mean anything to me." Obviously they mean something if they're looking at them. They signify the sexual part of the relationship. That is very wrong. Internet porn hurts relationships.. not helps.

It hurts because 1. its addicting 2. it makes it more difficult to build a healthy, intimate relationship with the person.

It is very addicting. Thats why theres an organization called sexaholics anonymous. I have even heard there are more members than in AA. Many people want to stop, but, over time they just can't find the willpower to stop. After all, porn is easy. Just one click away from a naked woman. Real relationships involve people satisfying eachother, making eachother happy by meeting eachother's needs. This applies to all romantic relationships, even if you dont have sex.

Secondly, porn hurts your relationship because it makes it difficult to connect/communicate with eachother.

More from my personal experience: my boyfriend and I had a long discussion about it, just telling our side of the story. In the end, he decided to quit looking at porn, since it had no positive effects, only bad ones. About a month after he said that, he admitted to me that he saw porn on his computer. I did not get mad at him. Instead, he told me how he felt and would never do it again. Every once in a while, I ask him how hes doing and congratulate him on how well hes been.

Overall, talk to him. Listen to his side of the story, then let him know your side of the story. Be willing to be patient and not critical. Remember, your his girlfriend not his mother. In the end, he needs to realize that porn of any form is bad for him and for you.

Answer 4

unfortunately porn in general has had an unhealthy effect on my relationship. I too have felt many many times that my bf doesn't even need me, he has that and is so much more interrested in that than in me. He tells me it is not true but...it is really difficult for me to understand this when he would rather be paying attention to the porn stars than me when we are together...as a result we haven't been for quite sometime, intimitly I mean. I am way too insecure for that

Answer 5

I left my husband because he was constantly lying to me about it and hiding the money he would spend on the internet and phone sex. To me that means he felt that he was doing something wrong and I cant trust him after he has promised time and time again that he wasnt doing anything.

Answer 6

I haven't been effected by it personally, but it can be devastating for a relationship