What makes it so hard is that we did'nt see each other for 11 years. Now she abuses every thing I extend to her. What kills me is her lying and having sex with guys she just met. I'm so angry and hurt I want to EXPLODE! I love her more than the world but she does'nt give a **** about me. All she wants to do is party.
Any advise how to get her to listen?
2007-01-20 14:09:43 · 13 answers · asked by punk bitch piece of shit 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't feel so bad cuz she's actually craving your attention and needs a positive chat with you!You've been absent for 11yrs, she just needs to snap out of this and spend hang out time with you. just let her know how you grew up. How boys "really" think, how people who party their life away end up with a hand full of regrets, ask her about her dreams of becoming something greater than the rumors peolpe will spread...TELL her to respect her self if not for you... Your SORRY for not being the best or worst but you are here so lay down the father you have in you and let you little girl know that you are here to listen help out and lend a ear... life is the path we choose, we make the best of what we have and learn from the mistakes. TEll her how you truly feel no angry thoughts, please just chill and listen... parent still have the right until they see their child is 21 out the house if not 25 by some states laws...any who be firm but willing to get to know her and let her know that some of these sumbags are out there to hurt her.
2007-01-20 14:40:06 · answer #1 · answered by memjabeana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there isn't much you can do, You came into her life way to late. She has already established her personality, values and morals. I am sure there is some resentment on her part at the fact that you were not a part of her life in her early years and now you want to be her father.. I am not trying to make you feel bad because I don't know the circumstances involved and I am not judging the situation. But from her point of view you haven't earned her respect, therefore will not get any. From your point of view I am sure you only want whats best for her as any parent wants. But your probably going to have to grin and bare it until she is 18. Then as with any child who flies the coop, she will find out that it would not have been so bad living under your roof and rules. You can try tough love but I think at 17 she is not going to bend.. I wish you luck... Try reverse psychology and act like you don't care if she is messing up her life and see what her reaction is.. It's hard but worth a try.. :)
Let her know that what she is doing is not ok with you but you will always love her no matter what she does. Educate her on birth control and protection from STD's. Then you need to relax, knowing you have armed her the ammunition and hope that she hits all the targets..It's hard being a parent, you can only do your best and be there when the chips fall. Remember kids think it won't happen to them until it does... Again, I wish you luck..
2007-01-20 14:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened between my parents and my younger sister but she is only 16 and will be 17 and the end of the month. My parents basically told her that if she didn't follow the rules and she thought it would be better somewhere else then to move out. She ran away and a couple hours was back at home. 99% of the time your child will come back because they'll realize they had it good at home. If she does not come back there is nothing you can do. I do not know what state you live in but I know in North Carolina you have very little say so after a child turns 16. Good luck to you!
2016-05-24 02:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well coming from a girl who knows I've been there and my 18 year old sister is the same way, she wont listen to you because she doesn't see you as a parent or roll model you were not there for her for 11 years that is a long time and to just come back in her life she is pulling away I really don't know how to stop it i sat and watched my mom go through this exact same thing with my sis she would leave after being told no she got preg. at 16 and now is 18 and alone my mother told her that one day she wont be here to catch her and my mom passed away almost 8 months ago and my sis just wishes she would have listened to her. but like i say as much as it might hurt you got to let them fall flat on their face for them to pick them selves up a baby fall millions of time before learning to walk so you have to let her fall take a way money unless she is making her own treat her like an adult if she wants to act like one. make her get a job pay rent ect. If all else false call Dr.Phil she keeps this up she could end up preg., with an std, or even raped and dead it is a dangerous path she is on and needs help.
2007-01-20 14:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by Dakotah D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I know exactly how you feel, I have four kids one of who is 19 years old. I didn't see her till she was seven, Its very hard to make up for lost time, but in time she will learn to respect you as her father, she will grow and mature at some point, be patient. I can tell you from experience, that they will not listen to what they don't want to hear. the best thing that you can do is to play a good role model, this way no matter what happens you know that you are trying your best, she will make her own choices in her life, and if she wants you to be a part of it in the future, she will come knocking on your door someday sayng she's sorry. be patient, most of all don't yell at her, don't put her down she's a grown woman she needs to do this herself GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-20 14:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by WURSTNGHTMARE61 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i see some think military school why so she can hate u more remember u were gone for how long??? TALK it will take sometime u 2 havew to get to know each other all over again she's 17 remember what u were like at 17 multiply that by 5 thereis your daughter plus u been gone so she doesn't see u as an authority figure your just someone that popped in u love her?? talk talk try and try don't give up she's she may feel you will leave again and doesn't want toset herself up for that heartache give it time
2007-01-20 14:39:57 · answer #6 · answered by fancy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there. She is too old to send to one of those training schools. Only counseling, time, and patience will do the trick. She has to know that you love her unconditionally. Time will help. Counsel her about not getting pregnant and STD's. That is the only thing that you can do: the most loving thing possible. Stop with the yelling and screaming and arguing. I tried it all and the only thing that worked was what I said above.
2007-01-20 14:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by kellenraid 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup...had one of those myself. Her daddy had enough and enlisted her in the military for 6 years. Basic training worked wonders for her attitude. She's actually a pretty nice kid now.
2007-01-20 14:16:29 · answer #8 · answered by S. W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she probably won't. she's 17 and thinks she knows everything. she's going to have to make a huge mistake or either just mature before she will listen. maybe you should try family counseling together.
2007-01-20 14:16:08 · answer #9 · answered by butter_cream1981 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i have the perfect solution.
send her to a tough love school. (or a military school)
she will not party there.
she will behave or suffer for it.
she will follow rules.
she will learn to have some respect for herself and others.
sometimes they have to learn the hard way.
2007-01-20 14:18:13 · answer #10 · answered by angel1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋