Some couples who were married fifty years ago are still as happy as they were the day they got married. Then you meet couples who have been married for three years and are already seeking couples therapy or divorce lawyers! My husband and I were married 8 years ago on the weekend of my 18th birthday and are as happy as we were the day we got married. Yet, it seems that when I tell people that I get a look of disbelief from young people, and sweet looks of happiness from older people. Why is there such a difference between the generations? Has the definition of love been distorted over the years?
2007-01-20 13:59:56 · 10 answers · asked by jess l 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The reason is people today rush into marriage without getting to know their partner, they are excited about marriage, but after they are married, they find that they don't even know their spouse. I suggest that when people get married that your best friends when you get married.
I consider my wife my best friend. We started dating in high school and got married 3 years after we graduated. We got to know each other quite well during that time, sure we've had our up's and downs in our marriage. We recently celebrted our 10 year anniversary this past Aug. And we are looking forward to many more years, filled with happiness.
My wife and I are just as happy today as we were when we got married, if not happier.
Also when people got married 50 years ago, they went into marriage with the mindset that marriage is till death do us part. Some people today go into marriage thinking, if I don't get what I want in this marriage, I'll find it in the next one.
And yes the definition of love has been seriously distorted over the years. Now a days people associate sex as love, and think that sex is the most important part of a marriage. Yes I think sex is important in a marriage, but I think honesty, trust and communication are way more important and lay the building blocks to a healthy sex life in marriage.
2007-01-20 14:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell, me do you have children? Many couples find out they are not the same as they were when they first married especially when all the children have grown up & moved out. How did your wife gain weight? Through having children or just being an emotional eater? You need to either both try couples counseling or sit & talk, If you can't do either, then you would be better off striking out by yourself. Divide your assets up equally & move on. I bet she isn't happy either. I have a friend who left her husband after 25 yrs & has now been living with another man for over 6 yrs. She found after the children left home that she had nothing whatsoever in common with the man she married all those yrs ago. They are divorced & have both moved on & are happy with their new partners. They are still friends as they have adult children etc. So you are not alone, the only thing you did was have a fling. Re-read your essay you say you looked for this woman in one part then say you didn't in another. Stop living a miserable existence - because that is what you are doing ATM - existing. What's the point of staying in an unhappy loveless marriage. Do the mature thing either get it sorted or move on. Good luck
2016-05-24 02:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who have been married longer and longer share a communication level that shorter marriages never achieve. With each passing day, or year, or as with these 50 year old marriages, each partner has learned to compromise and communicate with the partner so as to share a wealth of true love. Those that are in short marriages and quick divorces probably never learned to communicate with their partner, or maybe never learned to share and compromise. You are happy with your marriage, do you get everything you want, ask for? No, you probably have shared both some things you want and some that your partner wanted, but both with mutual end goals. Congratulations on keeping as strong a relationship as you have and hope you have many more in the future. Best wishes and good luck.
2007-01-21 12:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by Gary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple these days get divorced for anything and everything no matter what happens. Instead of trying to work things out when the least little thing goes wrong they go out and get a divorce. Problem solved. When you have been married a number of years they're probably problems but the couple stays together most likely because they love each other no matter what life brings them. Love can conquer most everything.
2007-01-20 14:18:26 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are one of the lucky ones, I believe it is important to cherish what you have everyday.To answer your question there is true happiness and satisfaction in knowing that what ever comes your way you both can and will work through it no matter what that is the difference is, you will always have difference in opinions but that does not necessarily mean either one of you are wrong either, you should always let the other person have the right to their opinion! THAT is why there is a difference between 50 and 5 yrs ago one was taught to work through it and the value that comes from that now one has learned to take the easy way out and instead of work through it, IT'S TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT!!!!!!! But that is just my view on it.
2007-01-20 14:23:35 · answer #5 · answered by annaramsey1977 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quickly and simply - don't marry until you can marry your best friend,learn to put them and their interests ahead of your own (they should return the feeling) learn to listen and empathize,learn to compromise, remember that their opinion has at least as much weight as yours, make sure that they know how much you love them every day,never end your day with an unresolved argument or disagreement, put as much time and effort into making them happy as you want them to put into making you happy. That is a start!! Remember - no matter what you want in life, you have to work at it and it ain't easy. Good Luck!!
2007-01-20 14:50:53 · answer #6 · answered by nidan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because each marriage and person is different. Love and marriage is what you make of it. Also the views of marriage in society have changed over the years and decades... Very sad indeed. I feel that we should go back to what marriage should be dont you?
2007-01-20 14:21:10 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everybodys relationship is different. I guess thats the real reason why u get the looks..
Generation X is different fromt he baby boomers.
Good luck
2007-01-20 15:13:52 · answer #8 · answered by susan q 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's picking the right partner and being the right partner.
2007-01-20 14:10:09 · answer #9 · answered by pooh 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure... it takes to to tongo...
2007-01-20 14:09:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋