Why is it so terrible, when you wish your father dead?

Question

Why do people think parents are sooo fragile that you can kill them if you tell them to drop dead? Isnt any other form of lashing out just as bad? Anger is anger. But i rarely ever scream at them.
Like, if you scream at your dad at the top of your lungs something as benign as "STOP BADGERING ME!"
OR if instead of screaming, u just mutter under your breath "I hope you DIE"
Wouldn't the screaming be the worst?

Answer 1

it's a horrible thing to wish death on anyone, much less your parents. i don't think it's the volume at which you say it as much as the hatred in your words.

Answer 2

Heather, hatred is the thing that kills the heart in a person. People can hurt you emotionally, but you don't really sustain a fatal emotional blow until you begin to deal with that backlash with hatred. It's better to go sit down and thing about what is tormenting you. Everyone of us has suffered at some time or another at the hands of our parents, because sometimes our parents are emotionally struggling with a heavy load and they get too uptight over things. When you are calm and you can think clearly, sit down in a notebook and write down the things that you really think and feel. Try to find a positive approach in your dealings with your parents that will keep them calmer. And if they are doing something that hurts you, ask them if you can talk to them about it and to see if they can handle it differently.
This will help them to trust you more, help you to keep your temper in check, and put some love back into the picture for everyone. I tell my son all the time this one thing, your family is forever. They are there when everyone else is gone. They will be there when you bring home your first baby (hopefully not for awhile.) But the happiest days, like your wedding day, your graduation, your Prom, all of these wonderful days are still ahead.
Take care of your family, and they'll take care of you.