What would you do if you found out your husband?

Question

My husband goes "out" at least 4x a week and acts like he just sits alone at a local bar but he is out until 2am or longer some of the time. So then today I find a picture of another girl in my husbands wallet when I was looking for our insurance card! It was like some professional pic and to top it off i knew who this girl was!!!!!!!!! It was some girl he claimed was married and he just goes to see her "dogs"! No man was on this picture and I heard her hubby left her! Would you be upset over this too? should I worry he is by her all the time? What would you do? I am afraid he is cheating...Oh I tore up the pic too; should i have kept it to show him or pretend i never found it and wait for him to notice it missing?

Answer 1

I'd say keep quiet for now. After he leaves one night get dressed up and head out the the place he says he's going. See if he's even there. If he is alone join him and tell him that you wanted to spend some time with him (it's a good cover). If he's not alone you'll have something to talk about when he gets home. If he's not there you'll have even MORE to talk about! :-)

I'd say that it is more than likely that he is cheating....but the proof is in the pudding. Don't say anything yet...give him enough rope and he'll hang himself with it.

Good luck!

Answer 2

So, he's either cheating at the worst, or at best sitting in bars at least 4 nights a week until after the bars close. I'm not really sure if either is less lousy than the other. A married person has no business being "out" alone 4 times weekly. Even if he's an alcoholic he needn't sit in bars- he could drink at home. I'd bet on the cheating possibility, given that you found a lady friend's pic in his wallet. I do think you were wrong to tear up the pic. I'd have just asked why he had her pic. Apologize for ripping up the pic, by saying "I'm sorry I tore it up, but finding your girlfriend's picture made me angry." His reaction should tell you your answer. And yes, he'll say it isn't a girlfriend.

Answer 3

If you know where this girl is or her phone number, ask if you two can talk and ask her some questions. If you have the torn picture show her and see what she says. If she tells you things that add up (mean you really think that he has had an affair with her or some one else) then you need to confront him and kick his a** out of the house and get a divorce. Cause that is not fair to you. And you don't deserve to be treated like that. Hope that helps. Good luck

Answer 4

Well being a man the only advice I can give you is we cant be trusted for a minute, seems our prime function is to reproduce/mate and all actions seem to lead to that. Do as much investigating as necessary as to find out what is really going on. Going over to see her "dogs" is a real lame story, and carrying around some girls picture is over the top. Going to the bar four times a week is unacceptable. I really don't know enough about your marriage to give you use-full advice. Hope you two can find away to work this out.

Answer 5

If it were me, I would have handed him the photograph and asked him point blank why he has a photograph of >another< woman in his wallet?? He's spending countless hours out at night, four times a week??? Girl .. are you naive .. or just plain blind? The guy has another woman on the side, and you're just sitting back allowing the behaviour to continue. Next time he heads out to the "local bar" ..follow his a**, and when he walks up to the door of his woman's place, approach him and ask him what the hell he's doing there.

Answer 6

You probably should have left the picture in there, but don't worry about it. If you want to, I know I'd follow him one of these nights. Take a dig. cam with you. Wait outside until you see her go in, or you can see her car outside. If you don't have a dig cam take a regular cam with a flash. Stay by the door so they can't see you. Then get to where you have a good shot of both of them. Then take a picture. Turn around real quick and get out before they can see who took the picture. Go home pack his clothes up and put them in the front yard. You might want to have some of your girlfriends go in the bar to witness. Then file for divorce and take his *** to the cleaners. Good Luck Girl

Answer 7

Do you know where this girl lives? If so, next time your husband goes out "just to sit alone in a bar", go to the girl's house and see what you can find there. I think we both know what it's going to be.

Answer 8

Whether he's cheating or not, it's simply disrespectful. You know friends of mine always called me too conservative b/c I never believed in being in a relationship with someone that constantly goes out to places like bars without their mates. Now some of them have ended up in similar situations like you or worse and wish that they would have been less tolerant to their men hanging out at bars without them.
It's simply disrespectful.... I could tell you to go out and do the same, but it's not going to help the relationship. you need to sit with him and tell him that this bothers you and that he should make a choice b/w hanging out at bars or being more involved in the relationship and staying home or taking you along.... see what is his response and keep us posted. ;) Good luck.

Answer 9

You have bigger problems than fidelity here....you have a hubby with a drinking problem. Thats 2 issues when put together make for a very sad marriage. Time to put him on the spot. If you are going to end up alone...better now than later...give him a chance to fix both problems and if he doesn't...lick your wounds and move on in life.

You deserve that chance

Answer 10

if u ask about the picture, he is going to ask what were u doing in his wallet. I would say that I was looking for the insurance card, and just be honest.
Yes, confront him, but know that if he is going to be angry..
Confront him yes, and let him know that u are on to him, so he had better wise up