My baby is very demanding....she needs to be held all of the time....she is eight weeks....when will i be able

Question

to put her down with some toys and she can entertain herself??? we have a swing which works occasionally for a brief period of time and we have a vibrating chair which works seldom.....it is extremely difficult when she is awake for me to do anything because I have to hold her....I purchased a baby sling but she doesn't like that either...just wants to be held....I need more arms... any suggestions from you would be great as well.....Thanks so much...I am losing my wits somedays.....

Answer 1

First off, don't listen to others and let her cry, read this link about that http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
found this on drsears website (great tips there)




E-mail This Article

HOW CAN I CHANGE MY 3-M-O HIGH NEED BABY SO SHE DOESN'T NEED TO BE HELD ALL THE TIME?
"Dr. Sears,
I'm desperate for your help. I have a beautiful, alert, healthy, strong and happy daughter (3 months). When she was born, the nurses at the hospital suggested I sleep with her for the first few weeks to help regulate her body temperature. I'm breastfeeding so I would let her fall asleep after feeding. Now, three months later we're still doing it. I sleep sitting up holding her on a pillow in front of me. She's out growing the pillow and believe me I'm ready to sleep laying down now. I've tried a co-sleeper, bassinet and her car seat carrier. She doesn't cry when being placed to sleep in these other items...she screams. Also, she likes to be held (walked) most of her waking hours. Your Nighttime Parenting book suggests that this is normal behavior for a "high need" baby. I don't know how to proceed. I want my daughter to remain happy but we definitely need to make some changes. How do I gently help her to sleep out of my arms? And how do I help to not need to be held so much? I'd rather not follow the cry-it-out method. Please help?"
Many parents of high-need babies come to me asking for help, just like this mom. They are tired from lack of sleep, worn out from holding baby all day long, and sometimes at their wits end. Some are ready to try the cry-it-out method just so they can finally get some sleep. I really do sympathize with these loving parents. Anyone who has raised a high-need baby understands the time and energy involved.

Unfortunately, there is no good solution to this situation. Asking a high-need baby to not want to be held all day or to sleep peacefully all night long is like asking a dog not to bark, the sun not to rise, or men to stop and ask directions. It really is possible. Every baby comes wired differently, with different levels of need. High-need babies simply must be held most of the time in order to feel emotionally secure and fulfilled. There is no good way around this. No amount of "letting them cry it out" is going to change this instinctive need they have. I suppose if you tried the cry-it-out method for long enough (for several months or so), she WOULD eventually get the message. But at what cost to her trust, sense of security, and self-esteem?

What parents in this situation should be asking is not "how can I change my baby", but rather "how can I meet my baby's needs and still retain my sanity on so little sleep?" The answer to this question can be found by browsing through our "high need" or "fussy baby" section on our site by searching these terms. You can also search "payoff" to read some encouraging words about how your investment will pay off in your child.

Hang in there. Your baby's level of need will change with time. There IS sleep at the end of the tunnel.

See 18 Survival Tips for the Parents of High Need Children

Dr. Bob

Answer 2

I am sickened that people think it is okay for a little 8 week old to cry "it out". That is just horrible! Babies cry for a reason.. plain and simple. It is the only way they can communicate. To let her "cry it out" is neglect and all you are doing is teaching her not to trust you. And then you'll wonder why she wont listen to you when she is 13..

Try another sling. If the one you purchased was a ring, get a pouch.. maybe it was the feel of the fabric she didn't like -- don't give up, you are on the right track.. a sling is the best way to hold and comfort her and give your arms a break. You can make it work. You'll look back on this time and it will seem like the blink of an eye. Good luck!

Answer 3

At this point not much you can do, I have a 4 month old and 2 older kids ages 5 and 3. I use the swing or just let her cry a bit if you have to sometimes there are things you just have to do. Utilize your older child and have them talk to the baby. I would say once she can hold her head up well try some tummy time which she may only tolerate for a little while but it will help her to build her strength. It will probably be this way until she is 6 months old. Have you tried one of those toys that they lay on their back and look at. I have one that plays music and that usually works for a bit. Until they start to sit up they don't really play with things on their own Yet. If you have the parents as teachers program in your area i would suggest that. At 4 months they can use the exersaucer but they don't really like it much until about 5 months in my experience. It won't hurt her to cry just a bit.

Answer 4

I have exactly the same problem with my 3rd child who is 15 weeks old now, but its amazing what you can get done in 10 min spurts of cleaning or whatever you need to do, this is the bonding time and to hell with the house work cos before you know if off to school she'll go. I put my baby on the floor ( on her back never her front like someone said that is so dangerous ) that way she is safe and she can look up at the ceiling or if u have a mobile that plays music something that will stimulate her for a little while at least. Dont feel bad when she is crying out unless she is really getting herself upset about things, If this is your first baby its all trial and error all the baby books in the world cant tell you everything, nobody knows your baby like you do .

Answer 5

If there are 5 women and 4 boys then she is not having eight infants, she's having 9. Girls Names I Like: Grace Lynn Alexandra Elizabeth Sarah Nicole Sammantha Michelle Faith Marie Hope Lynn Boys Names I Like: Gabriel Michael Matthew Isaiah Joseph David Elijah Andrew Naoh James Jacob Nickolaus Isaac Aaron

Answer 6

I talked to my dr about this and he says you can't spoil a newborn by holding them too much. Here is what I found on Babycenter.com
Babies need a lot of cuddling. They like to see their parents' faces, hear their voices, and listen to their heartbeats, and can even detect their unique smell (especially Mom's milk). After being fed, burped, and changed, many babies simply want to be held. You may wonder if you'll "spoil" your child by holding her so much, but during the first few months of life that isn't possible. Infants vary a lot in how much they want to be held. Some demand a lot of attention, while others can spend long periods of time sitting calmly by themselves. If your baby likes the attention, pick her up, wear her in a front carrier or sling, or place her next to you.

Answer 7

letting her cry for a little bit is okay, but not particularly relaxing for Mom! All I can say is ...this too shall pass. My little one had colic and I had to hold her while bouncing up and down to get her to caldown...for hours each day. I though my arms would fall off. But she outgrew it, and so will your baby. Anyhow, here is what else I tried (maybe it will work for you):
1.Television (I know it's bad, but you need a little 'you' time) try Teletubbies or Baby Einstien
2. Car seat on the kitchen counter with the dishwasher running below
3. My husband (whenever he got home from work I placed her immediately in his arms..'here's your daughter')
4. Glow-Worm by Hasbro
5. Go for a drive with her
6. put her in a very safe place (crib) and then take a shower. You won't hear her cries and you will feel much more refreshed.
Good Luck to you, and I know how tired you must be. She will outgrow it and you'll find yourself missing these days (It's really true!)

Answer 8

Lol! Might Be A Long Time! We Have A Seven Month Old And She Is The Same Way!!! Sorry I Don't Have A solution But That Is The Way The Cookie Crumbles! Good Luck!! We have all them things to but she just Don't like them! (only once and a while?)

Answer 9

babies don't start "playing with toys until they are around 6 months. even then they have very short attention spans. my daughter is almost two and yes she can occupy herself for a short period of time but still wants to play with mom most of the time. you will learn to balance your roles eventually, you're still new at this. what i did when my daughter was that age was i'd clean when she was napping. worry only about the dirty stuff. dishes, laundry, trash. then i'd sit my but down and rest. don't have unrealistic expectations. try taking the baby for a walk (weather permitting) it will do you good to get out of the house. it is true that at this age you cannot spoil a baby. enjoy this time. it is fleeting. things don't necessarily get easier, you just learn to deal.

btw some one said put the baby on top of a dishwasher in a car seat. NEVER put an infant in a car seat on top of anything but the floor. that is just plain stupid. car seats are filled with warnings about things like that and it blows my mind that some people are so careless to do that.

Answer 10

I rarely put my daughters down when they were that little.They do need constant physical contact. You will learn to do things with one arm, trust me. But when you do need two arms wait until she is settled and then place her in a bouncer where she can see you and do what you have to but sing to her or explain what you are doing. That way she knows you are still there and you arent leaving her.
As they get older and can crawl she will need to be held less. But then the trouble will be to keep her out of what your doing. Thats when the bouncer comes in again.
Good Luck and remember she is still only little.
And maybe try a baby pouch when she gets a bit bigger.

Answer 11

There is no need for an 8 week old to "cry it out". She needs something, and that is the only way she can tell you. She's not being manipulative, and she's not trying to piss you off. It's frustrating because you don't know exactly what is wrong. She could be hungry, wet, tired, have a belly ache, who knows, but she can't tell you and crying is her way of communication. If she's content in your arms, then so be it.

It takes them a while to become self sufficient enough to entertain themselves, but that day will come. But, for now, she needs you. It's hard, I know.

That said... there is nothing wrong with putting the baby in a safe place and taking a quick shower, but as for crying it out, I would give a big NO.