my husband has never been faithful and has always cheated! he even left me for a week to be with his babys mama. He swears up and down that he is done and I'm the only one for him for the rest of his life. He works nights and I always wonder what he could be doing? He is around lots of people. I just wish I knew? sometimes I think I am going nuts I'm really insucure and I have thought of spying and buying surveilence to see if he is so I can be at ease, but then I think I am crazy for thinking of taking it that far, I don't know what else to do to be at ease?? what should I do???
2007-01-20 12:52:55 · 17 answers · asked by socalgal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would you stay with him? Is your self-esteem that low? You need to get rid of him and move on. Look for someone that is going to treat you with respect and be faithful.
2007-01-20 12:57:51 · answer #1 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is respect, admiration, passion, and trust, hon..... four biggies. If he has shared his passion with someone else, the trust ain't there no mo, and the admiration and respect are in the toilet too. "once a cheater.... always one"
Why are you still there???? You don't love this guy, no one could.... you love what your image is of him, and sweetie, they just aren't the same thing. Get some counseling to try to figure out why you are willing to settle for so little.... marriage is also kindness, putting the other's feelings first, doing kind things for each other, times together, solving problems without rage... but hon you don't even have the first four, forget some of these that make up the subsets of marriage. We get about 80 on this planet, and you are wasting some of the best ones
You will never be at ease with guy...he even lies to you...Leave, divorce him, ...........Then find a great guy on the internet.--- Yahoo,Match.com, e-Harmony --- they all work.... You are probably a very nice lady, why are you treating yourself so badly?
(When mine cheated, ended an 18 year marriage, moved out of the state, left.... end of story. Found the great guy on Yahoo.... you can too....)
2007-01-20 21:03:16 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fortunately, this isn't about YOU....... He has a problem and if you knew about it, you should not have married him.
When he left you for a past relationship that should have been your cue that he can't commit. He has no control over his erratic emotions and acts on whims and does stupid things which he says he regrets later. In some way he might be sorry, sorry he got caught.
He will tell you sorry because he knows that is what you want to hear. It appeases you and he knows he has gotten away with it again. He is a creature of habit and I doubt he can be faithful to anyone....
I think it will drive you crazy if you stay with him. This will do alot of emotional damage to your spirit, self esteem and self worth.
You know what you need to do, I think you are afraid.
I think you love him but you also hate him.
He is pulling your strings, breaking your heart, making you question yourself.
He is slowly destroying you as a smart and strong person. These type of men destroy all the good around them by being and acting like dogs in heat.
I wouldn't waste my money spying on him or following him.
I think in your heart you already know. You do not need any proof.
You do not need reassurance, you are looking for a way out.
You need to give yourself permission to let go and walk away....
It is okay and you will be okay on your own. You will have peace...
2007-01-20 21:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES YES YES
Once a cheater always a cheater. They dont change. If he respected you and relationship he wouldnt be doing this.
You are not taking it too far on spying and surveilliance. You are his wife and have the right to know. u Have to do what u have to do in what ever way you have to do.
You definitely cannot spend every moment wondering where he is what he is doing. Believe me u will become insane and will need depression medication in the long run. Instead leave him. It's not worth your health and mental sanity.
2007-01-20 21:02:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, once a cheater always a cheater. First, figure out how to keep your money separate from his. Hire a private investigator to follow him and/or talk to a marriage counselor about what you can do. I would just recommend to get out but you sound like you want to stay so if these things check out then fine, but otherwise, take the next train out!!
Good Luck!!!
2007-01-20 21:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by KB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and find someone who will make you feel secure, and fall in love. You are with him because of security reasons, not love, you can't love someone so much if you know he cheats, and he has done it while being with you. You can find security with someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. You will never trust him, nor should you. You deserve a special person in your life, open the door, kick him through it, and have some fun, in the meantime, that special someone will walk through that open door, and knock you off your feet!
Give "true" love a chance
2007-01-22 11:39:05 · answer #6 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably won't change no. And by you following him around hiring detectives or survelinece cameras the ending won't be good you know his track record. You either put it out of your mind and deal with it or your one that can't and will have to make decisons for yourself.
The more i read on here about people fooling around the more niave i feel i have thought all these years. life is different now people will cheat both men and women if they want and you can't stop that. so just either go with the flow and have your cake and eat it too or move on.
2007-01-21 00:39:17 · answer #7 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If for some odd reason you are going to continue to stay with hime then by all means spy spy away. Would he be any different if the roles were reversed? Either leave him or get proof and shove his face in it!!!!!
2007-01-20 21:08:11 · answer #8 · answered by persha69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would u stay married to a man who constantly cheats on you. Get divorced you deserve better. I always say anybody who cheats apparently doesnt give a f**k about their spouse or marriage.
2007-01-20 20:59:26 · answer #9 · answered by gaby d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really leave him and get out as more then likely he will never change and you have frounds for divorce here.... Trust me you will be better off for it. If he cannot prove to you once and for all he has changed then get out and dont look back and go on with your life.
2007-01-20 21:02:03 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋