This is a man who grew up in a trailor park (run down) and lived in a trailor full of cats, cat crap, dead cats, **** all over the floor, pee smelling clothes and sheets...anyways, his mother was a total pig and so was he.
The thing is I am with him in his house he bought before me, and I am very clean and the house is always clean, yet when we figt he says I dont clean it and I dont do enough, yet everyone else says this house is always clean and nice.
The scary thing is he beleives what he says, and thinks he is perfect and the one who cleans...he doesnt.
I dont know what to do, I am really fed up with him, its been 3 years and I dont know what to do, I am also a stay home mom so i TAKE care of the kid too.
2007-01-20 12:22:28 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I disagree! You KNOW what you need to do, but may not be willing to do it, for whatever reason. How in the world did you ever get mixed up with such a man as this anyway? Well, that's neither here nor there I guess....but do not stay there and take his abuse any longer.....Enough IS Enough!! Find a man that appreciates a good woman, and a clean house!
2007-01-20 12:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to watch Maury! This man don' t appreciate you at all. He's trying to control you and to a certain extent you are letting. Let me ask you did you have a plan B before you got married. You need to put those kids in daycare and get out and get a job or go to school to learn a trade so that you can be able to take care of yourself. When you think about it when a makes the money and the women stays at home they want to take control and some women let them because of that reason. The best thing to do is do what you have to. I'm not telling you to leave your husband but think about yourself and your children and do you want your kids to go through that. What if this thing gets worse then what he might decide to hit you or he may just cheat on you if that's not what he's doing already. Women go through this everyday and mos end of divorce, dead, or handicap. These are just possibilities not saying that it could happen to you. He's seeing and saying things that aren't really true. I suggest you talk to him calmly and see what the problem is and try to come up with solution to the problem..
2007-01-20 20:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by doodie315 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is too much b.s. for you to put up with. It sounds like he has a mental problem. He believes himself. I'm sure you hear about how his 40 work week is harder than taking care of the house, kid, and him too. It's almost normal guy behavior but a little off. I don't think you're going to change him or get him to realize that he's not doing it all. It sounds like mental abuse. I think this is one of those times where divorce isn't such a bad thing. When dealing with somebody who is a little unstable I would just leave when he's gone. Otherwise you'll never make it out.
2007-01-20 20:32:40 · answer #3 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are going thur such heartache. I'm hooked up with a man almost like that too. What I do for him is... walk him down memory lane. When he start talking about those things that he is very delusional about I began to ask him questions deeper into what he think is real in his mind. EX. when your husband talk about you not being clean ask him to remember the filth he come from and look around and do he see that type of filth now? ask him did he do the dishes?, Did he clean the rooms?, Did he care for the kids today? Keep your voice low, but to the point and don't allow him to deviate from the conversation at hand. When he realize that the conversation is not going in his favor, tell him I'm sorry for not living up to your exspectation as a wife and I can't keep the house as well as your mother kept house for him, but you need for him to tell you what it is your doing wrong, because everyone has complimented you on what a clean house you all have so you assume that you was doing a good job taking care of him and the kids. Maybe your husband is so use to living in filth that he don't know how to get use to cleanliness. My point is people like him, if you're gonna live with them, you have to find a way to make them see their arror without yelling and cursing. Kindness and soft words will turn wrath and make the heart see what it lacks. Now my husband tells me allot, that he don't know what he would do without me and that I complete him. This is coming from a man that saw no fault in himself and had no remorse for what he said to me and did to me in front of people and behind close doors. Now he thinks twice before he say things to me and watch what he do to me. Come down on his level and make him see without belittle him and he'll lighten up. If he doesn't then maybe you need to seek a lawyer for divorce.
2007-01-20 21:07:17 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is in a way punishing you for his upbringing. Tell him that this is the way you clean and if he has any complaints he is welcome to do a deep cleaning himself. I really don't think that this about cleaning he has mother issues. Also, what you can do is not do a damn thing as far as cleaning goes for a whole week and let him see exactly how much you do do. I did this one time and it really worked. Good Luck!
2007-01-20 20:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he's abusing you emotionally. What you should do first is make a copy of all your shared assets, bank account statements and then contact a lawyer. File for divorce, find a temporary place to live (perhaps you've family?), and keep him away from your children.
2007-01-20 20:33:00 · answer #6 · answered by zoastriastar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There ain't a bit of Love in that House. You both need to get away and find someone that can put up with the both of you. `Cause you ain't satisfying eachother. Parent Hood, should be your finest Joy. Not a chore!
2007-01-20 20:28:05 · answer #7 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that you are taking care of the kid and the house and be happy with that.... Just love him where he is at and feel good that you are doing what you need to be doing for your home and child.... Seek help and counseling for your marriage and see if your husband is open to counseling too. If this was how he was raised that is why he is like this....
2007-01-20 20:31:01 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take a picture of your mother in law's house, frame it and put it on a wall in the room you have the most fights in. When he tells you that the house looks bad, remind him where he came from.
2007-01-20 20:31:57 · answer #9 · answered by Mad Maxine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You can move the man out of the tailer park, but you can't move the trailer park out of the man". Your husband has big issues with cleanliness (sounds like OCD because of his negative experiences as a child). Either he gets intense therapy or you get out!!!!! It's an emotional disaster for you AND the child!!!!!!!
2007-01-20 20:37:42 · answer #10 · answered by KB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋