Can you sum up what your idea of the ideal family is, and how that differs from your idea of what?

Question

characterizes a dysfunctional family? I'm particularly interested in perspectives from adults, with regard to your relationships with your parents and siblings, or from those of you who feel you are the product of a dysfunctional family.

Answer 1

I am a psychiatric social worker and also the product of a dysfuncional family. With that said, I believe that there is no "ideal family". Families that look ideal...ie 2.5 kids, dog, picket fence, etc., sometimes have many problems when you start getting into the real dynamics. Conversely, families that look "abnormal" or are unconventional in some way really work well despite all of the quirks. My family of origin looked fabulous on the outside but my white collar dad and stay at home mom were pretty abusive and neglectful. For a long time I was hung up on that "perfect family" image but when I look at things now it doesn't seem so important. My boyfriend and I live together and we each have kids from previous relationships and are going to have one of our own this summer. Our household is hardly perfect and we are more like Ozzy and Sharon than Ozzie and Harriet. While we have our issues, and some of them are huge, we always seem to manage to work things out. Every family has some sort of dysfunction and I believe the true measure of ideal vs. dysfunctional is the overall happiness and self-actualization of the individuals within the family system. With regard to my present relationships with my parents and siblings...I still have limited relationships with them. When things become difficult or uncomfortable I know I can leave and return to the safety of my true "family". Hope that answer helps.

Answer 2

I have no idea what an ideal family should be, although I have felt, for lack of a better word... jealousy, towards the Cunninghams on Happy Days and the Huxtables on The Cosby Show. My daddy was a Jekyll and Hyde. A violent alcoholic at times and the sweetest most patient father at other times. My mother was brought up in the belief that women were to be submissive, and only found her true self after taking my brother and me, and leaving my father. We became the best of friends, and I miss her. My father was also my friend, and despite his alcoholic bouts of violence, I loved him dearly and miss him very much. My brother, now 50, is also an alcoholic, very selfish and controlling. He thinks the entire world owes him something. Yes, I describe my family as being dysfunctional, but who knows what goes on behind the closed doors of all other families? Who determines normal? I turned out alright. Normal? I don't know...lol

Answer 3

An ideal family has had a lot of unconditional love, and they continue to give that to each other. They were raised to take responsibility, contribute and do the hard things, so they developed strengths of character, which makes them both interesting and satisfying to have a close relationship with. They are able to spend an adequate amount of time with each other so their relationships can continue to develop. Of course this kind of family has to have wise, loving parents.