problems with step children?

Question

I HAVE BEEN WITH BOYFRIEND FOR 4 YEARS & WE FINALLY GOT MARRIED LAST JUNE.HE HAS 3 KIDS 18,19,21 & LIVE WITH US.HIS DAUGHTER & I CAN'T GET ALONG 4 NOTHING.I THOUGHT I SHOULD GO AHEAD & MOVE OUT.BECAUSE SHE ALWAYS WINS & GETS HER WAY. I LET HER DRIVE MY CAR SO IT DOESN'T START A ARGUMENT BETWEN ME & HER DAD.SHE WON'T HELP CLEAN UP HER MESSES.& I STAY SO DEPRESSED.WE WERE TRYING 2 HAVE A BABY BECAUSE HE GOT VASECTOMY REVERSAL. & HE WON'T HARDLY TALK 2 ME.I AM 30 & HES 42.WHAT SHOULD I DO?I GET WHERE I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEENING HERE, SHE TELLS EVERYONE THAT I DON'T HER DADDY PAY NOTHING BUT I DO.I BUY HER CLOTHES, DRIVE MY CAR &SHE SAYS IT IS HER CAR BUT IAM THE ONE WHO BOUGHT IT.SHE IS A SPOILED BRAT.I ASK HER NICELY TO HELP ME AROUND THE HOUSE & SHE SAYS NOPE DONT WANT TO DONT HAVE TO.PLEASE HELP.I PRAY ABOUT IT.SHE DOESN'T EVEN SPEAK 2 ME ONLY HATEFUL WORDS COME OUT

Answer 1

This stepdaughter has been able to make your life miserable, only because she has your cooperation. You've had 4 years of this kind of treatment. How many more years do you want?

I think you need to have a talk with your husband, and explain to him that, unless this problem is solved, you're outta here.

Answer 2

It sounds like things are at the boiling point. If you are depressed over this I recommend you take a break. You should take time by yourself to think about what you want for your future from this point on. Then after you've decided what that is you need to sit down with your husband, tell him how you are feeling and what you want. It is important that you are calm, if it turns into a screaming match you won't get anywhere. You need to be firm and explain to him that his daughter can not treat you this way. Take time away from the house to think this trough before you talk to him, you won't be able to think straight while you are in the middle of all that stress. Remember, you deserve better. If he still sides with his daughter, you should seek counselling. Good luck.

Answer 3

Wow, I feel your pain. First of all these kids are young adults now they need to be out on their own supporting themselves. It is wrong of your husband to expect them to continue to live with you. You and your husband need some time for just the two of you! You are newly weds with three other people living in your house. If they were children it would be a different story. If your husband cannot back you and side with you and stick up for you then why did he marry you? If his grown children want to live with you then there should be rules and they should be required to help you. You are to young to waste the rest of your life being unhappy because your hubby lets his grown daughter crap all over you! Talk to him now before another day goes by! Good luck!

Answer 4

First of all you can't buy her love & that's what your doing..quit letting her drive your car, quit buying her clothes. If she can't give you anymore respect then cut her off. If she wants clothes & a car then she can get out and get herself a job. That's bullsh*t. Why should you move out? Your married to her father!!! Since your husband hardly talks to you I'd tell him that your not ready to have a baby with him because things aren't right.

You need to stand your ground, quit letting those kids run over you. Tell her that if she can't talk to you nicely then don't talk speak at all till you have some respect for me.

What a mess...I feel for you, I have a step daughter but she doesn't live with us. But I've been with her father for 3 years & married for 9 months & I don't know her at all. We don't talk on the phone or nothing..so I just leave it at that. Why should I try to bend over backward for her to like me?

I hope things work out for you...God bless you!!

Answer 5

im sorry but be grateful u r not pregnant or in a bad spot they r of age and should help out or get out ur husband doesnt take r side he needs to realize his kids rnot babies and the only one who is hurting is u r u sure u need this kind of treatment i am 23 i have been with my boyfriend 4 8goingon9 years he mo use to be mean to me i put my foot down immediatly needless to say we r still together and his mom now likes me they need to et over it unless u stole their daddy away from their mommy hopeflly not because good luck that will never happen but u dont need to be punished by him or his children

Answer 6

She sounds so much like my stepdaughter used to be. ;o( First I'd think you realized how she was when you dated her father for four years before marrying him. But anyways your husband needs to sit her b*** down and set her straight on a few things. One being she needs to learn to show you some respect. Another being she needs to help around the house, in fact all of them needs to do this they're plenty old enough. And he needs to tell them if they can't do these things then they need to find their own place. good luck ;o) hang in there.

Answer 7

Well, honestly speaking I think that they are all too old to live with you and your husband. It is time for them to get out and live their own lives and let you and your husband have time to yourselves. Yes you should pray about it all. You never know what he may bless you and your husband with in just a matter of time.

Answer 8

try getting her and her father to sit down and talk to you. don't gang up on her but tell your husband things have to change or the marriage will not work. she's a spoiled brat and she is taking advantange of you. if that doesn't work try speaking with a family conselor otherwise you have to move on.

Answer 9

Sounds like they are all brats. At their age, they should be out of their dad's house and at college. You need to get him to help you to deal with them. Or, go to a counselor and get some help and support that way.

Answer 10

kick her spoiled *** out. DOnt give her what she wants. Let her ***** and moan. SHe tells her father and he confronts u. tel him he can kiss your @$$ because she is a spoiled little mother effer and that if he doesnt control her you want a divorce. PS. DOnt let her use her car.