Horsey know-it-alls....?

Question

Why do people (new and experienced) in the horse world think they know it all? You can NEVER know everything about a horse....it's always a learning experience, so why do so many people "know everything?" There are a couple of people at my barn who are always giving "advice" when its not needed. I am the type who likes to work things out my own way (after all, I know my horse better than anyone else) so when I don't take their advice they get all crabby with that "I told you so" attitude. They also give me dirty looks when I hand feed my 2 year old treats. He's not mouthy AT ALL, and I don't even give him treats everytime I see him, so can't they just butt out? This just drives me crazy....what gives? Is there anyone else who feels the same way?

Answer 1

the thing about people with horses is that they ALWAYS think they know it all..
i used to be a riding program where you would turn your back to your horse, then back up, and if they didn't back up too, you would kick them backwards in their chest. in the wild, that's what the mares do to get them to backup to show them that they're a leader(not in charge, just a leader). and i did that at a show and a lady started screaming at me for kicking my horse. (i was 8.. i really don't think that i was going to hurt him..)

you just have to learn to ignore them.. some horses get mouthy when you feed them treats like that, but others don't. mine doesn't, and i've been doing that for 4 years.

don't worry, EVERYONE gets dirty looks in the horseworld ;)

Answer 2

I know exactly what you are talking about! Some people just can't mind their own business! My friend is working on the counter canter, and this lady that we know always tells her that she is on the wrong lead! She has been working with horses long enough to know what lead she is on.

And those Parelli people! I mean don't get me wrong the professionals I don't mind... as long as they don't try to recruit me. But the ones that have only been doing it for a few weeks have no right to say "it's the best thing in the world" or "try backing your horse like this". Lady all I have to do is say back and my horse will back.

Those know-it-all's are everywhere. You just have to deal with them I guess. When ever they tell you that you shouldn't hand feed your horse, just tell them that you know you shouldn't and let them walk away. Oh or you could tell them they shouldn't be paying so much attention to you. I hand feed my horse all the time and he isn't mouthy at all.

Good Luck

Answer 3

I've been training horses for a long time. I would tell you how long but a woman doesn't tell her age. As a trainer I only give my opinion when asked. And I've learned over my many years that other people will voice their opinion on what you're doing wrong so no one notices what they're doing wrong. The best thing for you to do is nod and smile when they tell you their advice and then politely point out what they're doing wrong in a question. I'll give you an example....

Nosey boarder: "Why do you let your horse do that? You should really try and correct that problem or he'll just keep doing it out of habit."

YOU:(nod and smile) then in a calm tone,"I'll take that into consideration. I guess that's why your horse like's pushing his hindquarters into you?"

That may not be the case, but no matter the rider we all make faults. The key is stay calm and show that their comments don't bother you. They'll eventually learn they can't get a rise out of you and then move on to another person-kind of like trying to thin the herd.

And always remember- A great rider doesn't make the horse, a great horse makes the rider.

Answer 4

Yeah, it drives me insane also. Sometimes, their advice can help you, but other times...well...you just want them to be quiet. Pay no attention to the dirty looks. He's YOUR horse, not theirs, plus a horse needs a treat every once in a while. You aren't doing anything wrong by thinking these things. You mentioned above about horses being a learning experience, and I agree with you there. That's one of the reasons I like horses. There is always something else to learn.
Don't worry about others, just do what you want with your horse
Hope I answered your question!

Answer 5

I have had this same problem. One of the best ways to make these people go away that I have found is this: Smile as sweetly as you can and say in your best sugary voice " This is my horse and I will screw him up anyway I want to" Most of the know it alls have no answer for this statement, since you are agreeing with their opinion that you are not doing something like they would. Most will shake their heads and leave you alone from then on. The other that I found is to go and bug then to death about every little thing you can think of, no matter how foolish. Especailly when they are trying to work with their own horse. And I mean stay in their face all of the time. And do it very nicely. It won't take long and they will avoid giving you any advice. Good Luck!

Answer 6

sometimes it is good to get others advice but sometimes people can just butt in, i'm sure people do this just because they know what worked for them so they think it may work for others. but you are absolutely right in saying that you know your horse better than anyone else. so just go with what you think and then in the end you will realize if you were right or wrong in the things you did. it's all a learning experience, every horse is different and every person has differnet ways of training/riding/ etc etc etc... do what you feel comfortable and only ask for advice when you feel you need some... good luck. dont let them get to you, they are just trying to help you out,

Answer 7

I have to say I agree-what works for 1 person might not work for another and each horse is different . Even when people ask what I think I be sure to add-it worked for me-so they don't criticize me if it doesn't work for them. Even with my own horses I don't follow ONLY John Lyons or Monty Roberts or whoever I take things from a lot of them and make my own system. And all my horses have different temperments so I even vary what I do from horse to horse. One needs a firm hand and to hear the whip crack when longing and another just needs to see the hand raise. There is no "perfect" way to do anything but a lot of people are set on that the perfect way is THEIR way unfortunately

Answer 8

I do. People may know a lot, but they will never know everything. No one ever will. Horses are teachers and I'm always learning new things from the mare I've had for 5 1/2 years. No one knows your horse like you do. Some horses are ok to feed treats and others aren't. The best way to learn is to figure it out for yourself. And if you can't then you ask for help, and you thank them for their advice, but only when you ASK for it. There is this girl who thinks she knows everything just because she has 9 horses and raised and trained 3 of them, but they are the most onery and disrespectful horses I have ever met. I know how to raise my horse, not her.

Answer 9

OH MY GOSH...i completely agree....i am a newly experienced horse person and i like to find out on my own if i have a question...my frend who is more inexperienced than me is always trying to tell me that i am doing things rong with my 18 yr old quarter horse. Things like i am giving her too much treats or im not mucking her stall out right and other crap like that....i mean like you said i know my horse better than anybody and she doesnt even have a horse so, y wont she butt out of my business? I bought books and things that help me out and i dont need somebody else....i can do things for myself....thank you for proving a point i have been trying to make!!!

Answer 10

I know exactly what you mean. I also have men thinking that I don't know anything just because I'm a woman. This torks me!! I have been with horses since before I could walk and I'm still learning things every day. The moment you think you know everything you won't learn anything and will get left behind. You are exactly right. Every horse is different too so one technique that works on one is not going to work on another.

Answer 11

Everyone does everything a little bit differently with their horses, and while ever it works for them, then they assume they are doing it the "best" way and will try to force their ways upon everyone else.

Everything I do with my horses works for me, so I'll often suggest the same methods to them, but I am also happy to listen to other peoples suggestions, because I know there is more than one way of doing anything -- especially with horses!